Fighting Shame with Light

I took the picture above many years ago. It is one of my favorites because it took a long time and involved patience and creativity. Yes, it's a real jar with real firefly bugs and their lights blinking. There are no AI generations here, just good old-fashioned night photography using long exposures. What will blow your mind is when I tell you how many lightning bugs are actually in the jar, but before I do ( read all the way first) let me tell you the story of shame, light, impact, and moving forward.

A few years ago I stumbled in life in a big way. I hurt many people I love and broke the trust of my entire circle. I had to start over, but first I needed to fix myself. I needed to forgive myself first. I needed to start placing some things in my life that would be pillars of consistency. This means groups, counseling, and accountability friends who I could meet and share my struggles with. This meant being vulnerable and being brave enough to push past the shame. The amazing surprise that came from this process was other people started to open up to me too and express their struggles. Now together we work and fight the shame so that we no longer hide in it and we don't have to do it alone.

Now that shame has been pushed aside in my life, I am trying so hard to be a light in how I live and am around others. I want to be a light to to all, even my enemies. I have so many that are lights in my life to me. They show me the way when I am lost and in darkness. When you are a light you leave an impact. You leave a mark, one that can stay forever on the heart and mind of a person in need. Leaving your mark is crucial for the mental and spiritual growth of someone. It does not have to be religious in any way. My faith may not align with all I encounter in my recovery journey, but I can be an example of a positive light and leave an impact in a good way.

Now how does the picture above of the fireflies I took remind me of this idea? How many fireflies are in this jar? The answer is two. Yes, just two. Each time one of them blinks their light, an impact is made on the camera's sensor. Each one leaves a mark, each one starts to add up as they move around the jar, spreading their light. This is how we make an impact, we keep moving, we keep being the light, we keep showing others the way. We move past shame and we get back up and we remind ourselves that we are not defined by our mistakes and shame will not overcome us.

There is much more to this story of course, and as time goes on and I walk a path of recovery and healing and repair the damage of shame, I will share it in other ways as I write more. I can recommend you read this other article (Running Into The Storm) that I wrote focusing on other parts of my story of recovery. These are good steps for me, and I am thankful for the opportunity to reveal some vulnerability as the next step in my healing.

Thanks for letting me be vulnerable. -g

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Author Note: Thanks for reading, liking, commenting, and sharing. My writing is a part of my healing process. I am a broken spirit, a fallen sinner, but I am a forgiven child of God. That is why I share my vulnerable heart with all.

TOPICS: MENTAL HEALTH, SELF-HELP, SOBER, SHAME, MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS, OVERCOMING.