A Forever Student

Who hasn't looked back at the mess that is their lives and wondered where they went wrong? Why is it that even though we're adults too, we feel like we never really got the hang of "adulting"? We open social media and see people the same age as we are, but they are the image of the perfect adult who has their life together. So what went wrong? Well you wouldn't be wrong to feel insecure while scrolling. You've been lied to. Scammed. Bamboozled. That person you follow that seems to have their life together may have some things right, but that doesn't mean that they don't have a huge mess in their closet like Monica Geller. I used to think that as soon as I became an adult that I would suddenly feel like this strong and wise individual. But the truth is that I don't think most if not all of us ever really become this idea we have in our heads of a well adjusted and put together "adult". We think that we should already have our lives together and that we should look like one of those Instagram models, celebrities, or one of those mature characters in movies that never make a mistake and always keep their cool under pressure. But what if that expectation we put on ourselves is just a caricature of what we think becoming an adult is?

The thing is that even people that present themselves to be this successful adult are probably plagued by the very same things we are. Maybe they've just had more experience dealing with the same problems, or maybe they had a different upbringing that helped guide them to this facade of what an adult must look like. We never really know unless we talk to these people on a personal level, but I am certain that if we were to have a conversation with those that appear to be walking life goals, we would see that they aren't much different than the rest of us who have stumbled. We may think that they are Devil Wears Prada levels of unachievable because they seem so well off compared to us, but even Miranda Priestly has her own troubles and she too falls short of others' expectations of her.

Believe it or not, movies tend to give a more accurate glimpse of life, but because most are about fictional characters and situations, we think that they don't reflect reality. Social media on the other hand involves real people, so we're accustomed to thinking that it reflects what real people are doing. At least it should. There exists a rose colored lens on social media that, unfortunately, we've actively voted for through likes, follows, and subscriptions. Social media shows us a perfected glimpse into someone's life while causing many of us to hold a magnifying glass to our own, and we'll still like their post because we live vicariously through them. The reason why we believe that we can look up to but never achieve this level of perfection is because we truly can't, it isn't real. Characters like Jenna Rink from 13 Going On 30 and Andrea Sachs from Devil Wears Prada encapsulate our wanting to become that flawless version of ourselves, but both stories include the fact that you can't change who you are; you can only grow and try to become the most comfortable and confident version of yourself.

So instead of doom scrolling through your social media, take a step back, be kind to yourself, and remind yourself that what you're seeing is only the smallest and most curated pieces of someone's life. And if you need to, take a break from those that make you feel lesser than so you can save yourself the stress. We may not feel like the best version of ourselves at this moment, but we always have room to grow and we are always learning new ways to become a better version of ourselves. Eventually while working on ourselves and our futures we'll be able to check off some of those adult goals that used to make us feel insecure.