The Peace I've Found.

Sometimes I think about how, for someone who's only twenty-two years old, I seem to be dealing with a nice and heavy hand of health-issues. You ever carried around a bowling ball in your bag? Probably not, and I haven't either, but for the sake of analogy I just mean to say: You can imagine that, after a while, it would get pretty heavy. I've just been fighting these issues for so long it might be time to admit that it's finally gotten to me.

Because of all of my struggles, I actually took it upon myself to become a certified Health Coach back in 2018, so anything health-related is right up my alley; I've had to manage being in a state of relatively poor health my entire life: if it's not the asthma, it's digestive issues (featuring several ulcers), and if not that then it's the PCOS (which causes hormonal imbalances and insulin resistance), and if it's not the PCOS, then it's the depression/anxiety, and now I've recently developed sinus issues (which causes breathing difficulty and facial pain/headaches) - apparently, just because I was missing a cherry on top.

I don't usually set New Year's resolutions, but as you can imagine, I was quite determined to give myself something to work towards "health-wise" for this year in particular. Here's what I came up with:

1. Work towards a healthy diet that is sustainable for you and includes a lot of fresh vegetables. Ditch the sugar. Fruit is fine, but seems to digest better when accompanied by protein.

2. Find a way to get moving each day. Aim for things like: walking for at least 10 minutes (may include short jogging spurts if you're feeling it on those longer-walk days), at-home dance workouts, and yoga. If all else fails, just find some fun YouTube workout videos - there are a ton out there, and it'll usually feel like working out with a buddy!

3. Even if it takes you a couple months, get back into a regular meditation practice. Calming your mind helps you sift out any unwanted energies that come from things like social media; it helps you remember who you are and what is important to you.

4. Get a proper doctor's evaluation on everything that's going on in your body. Always see a professional if you feel like something strange is going on!

5. The most important thing is that you keep going. You need to be your own best friend in this.

I've been studying the mind/body/soul relationship dynamics for several years now, just because I know how much of an effect it has on our overall wellbeing. In fact, I remember how back in July 2020 I had been at my peak condition of health thus far: I could exercise comfortably, I was eating a plant-based vegan diet and feeling amazing while doing so, I was reading, I was meditating, I was smiling... I was doing all of these things and I had finally become that person that I had always wanted to be! That vegan guru that you follow on instagram? I was that but without the tons of followers. I had achieved all of my health goals. *Finally*.

Then I moved from LA to Philadelphia, putting me back on the east coast and closer to family.

While I don't have any particular reservations about the east coast (I actually really enjoy it out here!), being "closer to home" has been beyond stressful. Not to mention Los Angeles is more spread out than Philly, especially in the area that I was in (Mt. Washington). I like to see myself as a mature and responsible person, but I'm at that age now where I'm not fully seen as an adult yet - though, do we ever really reach that age in our parents' eyes? Either way, I feel like this pandemic has blocked my sense of independence and confidence. For those who speak chakras, that was a major hit to my solar plexus chakra.

I'm afraid to go outside, I'm a "high-risk" person. What do I do? I'm afraid of getting close to people and connecting with others - major hit to the heart chakra.

There is no sense of stability, and in theory you could get infected at any moment. They say to "stay inside", and I agree, yet staying inside and safe keeps you away from nature. Major hit to the root chakra.

Which sources do I trust? Who's right? Who's misguiding us? What is the truth? What is my truth? Major hit to the third eye and throat chakras.

With all of this confusion, I'm having a hard time creating content that I love, and I've stopped dancing. Major hit to the sacral chakra.

And now, with all of this going on within me, I've lost my ability to connect with the higher power which reminds me that I'm not alone. There goes the crown chakra.

(If the chakra stuff is confusing to you, don't worry, you can focus on what I said before I mentioned the corresponding chakra/s instead).

There are definitely a lot of thoughts and emotions going on right now within all of us, and it's affecting each of us differently, but balance is still possible. At least I have hope.

Last year I was motivated to get healthy because my ulcers had landed me in the hospital, and I knew I was going to have to manage my stress if I wanted my body to heal. Can you imagine that I reached such a pristine state of health solely by focusing on relaxing and enjoying life more? I know that I can do that in a way that will still be covid-friendly because I did it during the pandemic last year, too.

Pay attention to what triggers a stress response within you. For me, that mostly comes from social media; seeing these people that look perfect, living seemingly perfect lives, makes me jealous and insecure. I'd much rather celebrate what I have right here and now each and every day.

I'll leave you with an affirmation/prayer, because we've already gotten all spiritual so we might as well:

I am healthy, and I am happy. My energy flows to me, through me, and all around me. I take care of my space, I love my life, and I am content with what I have. I am well. I will do my best to be responsible for myself, and I will take care of myself as best as I can in this time.

I am well.

Amen, and thank you.

I wish you the best. Please stay safe and healthy out there.

With love,

Hannah.