The Art of Being Yourself

It's easy to be hard on ourselves - to pick apart our every imperfection and see only what's wrong. But what if, instead, we learned to love all our flaws? To see the beauty in ourselves, just as we are? It sounds simple, but it's not always easy.

 Our culture tells us that we need to be perfect, that we need to hide our flaws and put on a show for the world. But that's not really living - it's just existing. And it's exhausting.

Society pressures us to play certain roles, and we worry about what others think because of our desire to be accepted. But if you find yourself doing this, just remember that it's not actually who you are and you're worrying needlessly.

For a long time, I didn't like myself. I doubted my abilities and felt that I was unworthy of good things. It wasn't until my early 40s that I realized my true worth. It took me a long time to realize that I was worth more than I thought I was.

 I had always been hard on myself, but once I realized my own worth, I started to see the world in a different light. Suddenly, all of the things that I had been beating myself up about didn't seem so bad anymore. I can honestly say that I like myself. It's taken a long time and a lot of soul-searching, but it was worth it in the end.

When you watch children, you will notice their freedom and how little they care about what other people think of them. This is because they are happy in the moment.

The best part about small children is that they are always themselves. They may not know how to fit in to society just yet, but they don't care. They spend their time doing whatever they want. They don't care if people might think it's silly when they dance in the front yard and have a good time for everyone to see.

One technique that I used was to become more mindful of my thoughts.

You may not realize how many negative thoughts pass through your mind each day. After so long, your reality starts to take shape based on the conditioned patterns of thinking that exist.

I would sit quietly in the mornings for no more than ten minutes so I can become more aware of the quality of your thinking.

The beliefs that we've been carrying around since childhood can't be part of our authentic selves. Becoming more aware of these unconscious beliefs will help us discard the old stories and focus on the present moment.

One of the best things you can do is go with your intuition.

A big part of being yourself is trusting your intuition. As the old adage goes: "Your happiness is a responsibility you owe to yourself." I ignored my intuition for a long time because I felt obligated to others. 

I stayed at home until I was twenty-five, I ignored my urges to move to a new city many times, and I held onto unfulfilling jobs because I was so afraid of what other people would think about me. What resulted is that I was incredibly unhappy for many years.

From my own personal experience, I can tell you this: When you start following the little nudges and intuitions that you get, you'll find yourself on the magic carpet ride of awesomeness.

When you are in alignment with your soul, it means that you will always be going in the best possible direction. It doesn't mean that you won't struggle again.  

What do any of these things have to do with being yourself? Well, they can help you to be in alignment with your true nature.

Simply by being the real you, you'll be beyond your conditioned beliefs and thinking patterns. You'll be the authentic individual.

When you're connected with your true nature, you'll be happier and more peaceful than ever before. When we stop worrying about what other people think, follow our heart instead of our ego, and do what we love to do, we start down the road to enlightenment.

Accept yourself - warts and all. 

It can be tough to deal with the not so-great feelings and put them aside. Instead, learn to understand what they're trying to highlight. This can lead you to making changes and help bring some clarity back into your life.

Life isn't always perfect, and it isn't always easy. But there are moments of joy to experience, even in the face of hardship. 

How would you know what happiness feels like if you've never experienced sadness?

It's important to know that what we're feeling right now won't last forever. When I feel afraid, frustrated, or sad, I remember that this feeling won't stay. It actually changes quicker than I would have thought possible. This helps me move past these feelings so that in the long run I am stronger and more confident than ever before.

When you accept all parts of yourself, your ego and your shadow side, you can work with all aspects of life equally. You let go, you accept yourself and see the potential in other people to do the same.

This is where true transformation happens. 

Be gentle with yourself. 

We often treat ourselves much harsher than we treat others. If you wouldn't say something to a friend, don't say it to yourself! Be kind and compassionate with yourself, and watch your negative self-talk start to dissipate. 

Forgive yourself.

 We all make mistakes - it's part of being human. If you can learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes, you will be lighter and freer. Start by acknowledging your mistake, then letting it go and moving on.

© Kabinga Charline Mazaba. All rights reserved.