Reflective

Often when we feel reflective and want to stay quiet it can be taken as being down, sad even withdrawn.

But is it?

When you feel within yourself that you need space and time to regenerate, recoup some of your own sense of self bringing balance and restoring you .

Is this a bad thing?

No !

Yet we in Western society are conditioned, trained to continually ask

Are you okay? Are you alright? What's up? especially in the older generations those of us born in the 60s when old beliefs attached to the war times and the older generations of grandparents with work ethics of work harder, and you don't get anything for free. If you sit down you're lazy.

Don't be a slacker!

Work work work

Go Go Go

You aren't allowed to have space or time to yourself and we certainly weren't given the space to feel or hear ourselves to get to know ourselves. It was selfish to expect otherwise.

Anything remotely like meditation was considered hippy or woo woo.

It's interesting to see how the changes in perspectives and how self care is actually promoted for mental health and wellbeing in the workplace.

Let's hear it for changes and progress in our health and well being.

But what about everyday life? All the old stories and beliefs that we still carry from childhood from our family, caregivers and school teachers, governments, cultures and society?

What about the beliefs we ourselves have picked up from movies and advertising, the stories of always doing never being?

The stories that convince us we aren't or never achieve anything if we take time for ourselves.

The judgements and long held beliefs we silently carry.

Push harder, you can't give up!

But oh don't you ever take time out thats just plain selfish.

Beliefs, stories, conditionings, inner narratives and generational patterns are something we all have, we are born with them and they often create a huge inner conflict that can bring up things like shame, guilt, feelings of unworthiness and deep feelings of I can't rest I can't sit, I have to get this done or that done I don't have enough time.

I am Lazy if I sit and enjoy the weather!

I will sleep when I'm dead.

None of this is self care.

On reflection as I write this I see why in my family we were taught to sew this gives you an excuse to have a quiet day sitting and in a sense being meditative. Making clothes for the children has to be done, what a clever way of bringing in a lazy day without appearing to be lazy. because after all, you are still taking care of everyone else first.

The question comes up why?

Why is so wrong to sit and reflect , to create beauty in art , to paint, draw.

It was frivolous in times when money was scarce and making a living was harder than it ever had been. Yet the pattern and stories continued to be passed down through the generations .

sitting quietly and being with yourself isnt woo woo it is natural and normal for so many of us this is how we process big and small events in our lives .

Life changes aren't always easy to navigate, it's okay to feel reflective and sitting with a journal or meditating is an act of self love, not selfishness.

This is our way of reconnecting with the essence of who you truly are.

Times have changed yet so many of our inner stories haven't.

The next time you feel reflective or just want to sit and enjoy nature, a sunrise, sunset or storm. If you feel the need to go for a massage or meditate and you feel guilty or shameful.

Ask yourself, Why do I feel this way?

Change begins with questioning and questioning leads to changing the way we ourselves do things with our own families and friends.

It's all about changing the stories and the emotional attachment we have to the stories that have been handed to us through many avenues.

If you feel the winds of change then you know it is time for you to recreate the stories you have held in your beliefs.

These are my musings and reflections they are from one person only and may or may not reflect your own beliefs.

It is good to reflect and practice self care, not just teach our younger generations but to help the older generations see that it is good to sit and enjoy their days in conversation that they don't still have to be doing and going 24/7.

Let's all enjoy our quiet reflective days without guilt shame or having to answer questions about why we are being and not doing.