Gym Bros and Spreading Harmful Messages/Lifestyles

tw: EDS, body dysmorphia, addiction, bullying

First, let's get into some definitions so that you understand what I am saying at all times. Skip if you want.

1. Gym Bros: The people typically on social media (definitely social media for the sake of this piece) who stay in the gym, talking about the gym, and going on about their workout plans & meals

Calling someone a "gym bro" does not necessarily mean that they are harmful to themselves or others when it comes to working out & eating. Some may use it to say "person who works out" others use it to say "person who eats, sleeps and breathes the gym," or "person who is too into the gym"

I, of course, will not be acting as though working out or caring about fitness in itself is bad, or that gym bros are not smart at all (especially not because they workout). I will only be talking about dangerous things that some gym bros have been promoting and saying . I will also like to point out that I am aware of men not being the only ones who share harmful images, messages or deals with these things. One may use "gym bros" has an inclusive term for everyone involved with the gym and sharing their journey. I would like to highlight EDS in "bros" "guys" "boys" "men" more today because that is what I have been seeing using sharing the messages that will be shared here, and they are commonly associated with the ideas that I will be sharing.

2.Eating Disorder (ED): According to the Oxford Dictionary, "any of a range of psychological disorders characterized by abnormal or distrubed eating habits..."

3. Body Dysmorphia: described as a mental health issue that deals with getting upset by the way you believe your body looks that disrupts your daily life.

Let's begin...

When going through social media and trying to find workout routines, or trying to find someone who has the pysique that you desire, you are likely to stumble upon your first desginated "gym bro." This will lead you to seeing a lot of other videos that are pretty similar. And you start either imitating them, or noticing patterns that you don't really like.

I went down the rabbit hole of watching these videos, but realizing they didn't make me feel motivated or good. They made me feel like the person on the other side was sharing something that sounded all too familiar to a person who has dealt with bad body images and thoughts for years.

This is how it goes for some people:

All is well at first. You're scrolling and come across a page of a gym bro. He shows you pictures of his shirt off with either big muscles, or more of a "bulky" look as it is "bulk" season (when one is in the recovery phase, they are adding calories, lifting heavier weights, or performing more intense workouts) for him. Maybe he's in the cut season (fat-loss phase intended to get lean, but one must maintain muscle).

Regardless, you feel like you've hit the jackpot. So, you read about his journey in his captions and watch his videos on how he used to feel versus how he feels now. He's inspiring.

He posts videos that tell you that you need to hurry and get your butt to the gym, he talks about the dangers of giving into suddden urges like porn or smoking, he shares his influences. He talks about wanting to reach his goals. This seems to be what you need.

But, then he posts more and more videos about working out in big sweaters and it's because the younger him that weighed more and got bullied, and there are many people who understand what he means.

While, it is alright to express how you feel, and this can show others that they are not alone.

It does show something else that should not be overlooked: body dysmorphia.

Being bullied can be the root cause of it.

The gym bro community talks a lot about not liking how they look outside of the gym or after that good pump has gone away. This causes them to stay in the gym longer, or go multiple times a day and makes them ignore "Rest days" in all. Their body must look how they need it to look at all times, or that progress seems to be nonexistent.

This isn't something that can be fixed by going to the gym a hundred times. If that was the case, then once they got to their desired look or finally lifted what they could've only dreamt of lifting a year ago, they wouldn't feel like they needed to continue or else they would go back to being who they were (the person that has clearly never left them).

Now, I am not saying that once you reach a goal then that should be it or that working out or doing something you enjoy is bad in itself. I believe in working out, but knowing why and how you're doing it. I believe in not having such negative feelings heavily associated with it, or not looking in the mirror and seeing yourself as "not good enough" because you skipped a day of working out.

He also talks more about how you watching the video instead of working out makes you horrible and bad.

I will also like to point out that I am not saying that everyone likes positive reinforcement/encouragement and those "GET YOUR BUTT UP NOW" videos are incredibly negative to all people. I am saying, that one must watch what they say and consume even in video format. If you feel worthless, it may not be for you. Positive reinforment/encouragement may work best for others. Regardless, telling people they are nothing if they don't have abs, or aren't working out is a huge NO.

He tells you that he feels he must look a certain way. Although, you learn a lot of helpful tips, you also see that he's encouraging under eating or "cheat days" (you should not have to feel as though you are breaking a rule when you're eating).

You realize you were pushing yourself to look like someone else. You haven't been feeling good about yourself, and you've been ignoring other aspects of your life as you push yourself.

Now,

There are a few EDS that may come up for gym bros. Anorexia, bulimia, orthorexia (obsession with clean/healthy eating) etc. And since gym bros are very into tracking their (macro)nutrients and progress (which may even include weighing themselves), this has caused many to suffer from an eating disorder as they are constantly checking themselves and taking away certain foods and creating/challenging limits for their bodies. Their brains think about food and weight more than many others as they are dedicated to seeing changes and sharing them.

It can be to silence that kid who was bullied, to get attention from women or friends, or to make themselves feel better. It can start by simply wanting to see a change and getting swept into a darker world.

A world of addiction.

Yes, working out can be an addiction. And one may find themselves with that addiction as they only find happiness and fulfillment when they workout. Like I said before, people end up skipping rest days. They may workout when injured or too tired. This can only take a toll on the body and mind. One should know when and how to rest properly. That is how one recovers and stays in tip top shape.

I would be a hypocrite if I said people shouldn't workout if they wanted to look a certain way either because here I am wanting and working at getting abs just to see what that's like for once in my life.

I just wish that people could see that they did not have to live with these thoughts or images in their head and trying to work on it by just working out more. Sometimes, taking a step back and looking at how you feel, think and your routine makes all the difference. What messages are you receiving and sending out in the workout community?

You realize that the gym bro community can be damaging your self esteem and body images more, so you decide to take a step back from the content. Then, you see gym bros who are into working out and eating right, but doing so all in moderation. And you realize that is more your speed. They do share their journey, and not all of it is pretty. But, they are helping you think better about yourself and rough days. They are encouraging you to do things in moderation.

You realize you should only want to look like you. You like how others look, and admire their hardwork and dedication, but you know that you not looking exactly like them is okay (and normal as you are your own person). You realize your body does not work the same way as anyone else's, and that you can change things to fit your needs and wants.

So, being a "gym bro" isn't bad. There are just far too many bad examples of people who are sadly harming themselves and others.

harmful things I've seen:

-those who cannot put seasonings on their food because those calories count and they feel bad for adding a pinch of anything (I've seen rice and chicken that was so dry...)

-people not realizing they could have balanced meals and they don't have to eat the same rice and chicken every day to look a certain way

-people who shame others for not working out

-consuming far too much protein and caffeine

-people who fail to realize a therapist is okay to talk to if they are still rethinking moments of them being bullied or let down

- people overdoing it

-not having any source of joy outside of being in the gym (this could lead to addiction or forgetting other activities and places exist)

-people having to weigh their food no matter where or when (not for medical reasons). Which really falls under this one...

-people not allowing themselves things because have very strict restrictions that typically last a few seconds because they break it and feel bad. The idea is to have a nice balance. Speak to professionals, get a good plan for yourself

I believe that just having a good balance is the key, and that therapy may help more gym bros than they realize. One shouldn't just work on their bodies, but their minds as well.

Make sure everything is working for you and not against you. Don't put harmful limitations and/or expactations on yourself. Treat yourself with kindess and respect.

Thank you. Please share your thoughts.

This is a great article on it (I almost said so much like this one, and needed to really rework mine once I found it because I did not want it to be too similar ha)