Aspirations to Breathe...

As we approach the start of a new year, many of us are thinking about the goals we want to set for ourselves. Instead of setting lofty and potentially overwhelming resolutions, I encourage everyone to consider setting gentle goals for the new year.

Unfortunately, I skipped this challenge; I got busy and did not prioritise it because I was swamped trying to grow my coaching business.

But also, I am adversely not a fan of the new year, new me train.

It indicates something is wrong with you—all of who you were until this new year is not worth anything.

As a mental health recovery and life coach, I spend most of the year after New Year, supporting and helping people undo the damage caused by the New Year movement. People get burnt out from goals or hurt from the trauma caused when our heart attitude is a new year, new me.

After the competition, I decided to write something still and use the space to highlight the dangers of New Year resolutions and share my intentions for the new year. Also, I wanted to educate people on the healthiest mindset to adopt when setting goals for the new year.

Please understand I have nothing against setting goals for the new year, but they should be done with the kindest, softest intentions for your mind, body, and soul. Goals and outcomes are how I help my clients to reach their best selves. But often, we go about it wrong.

I have not written on this platform for a whole year. I have been very unwell and struggling to make ends meet.

I have not had the time between surviving my health issues and trying to work and run a business to pay for my medical expenses to have the space to write. Mentally or physically.

But honestly, I will not get any better slaving away in a system orchestrated to keep me unwell.

So, my first intention is to Move gently from 2023.

No matter how you feel as we approach a new year, remember that You are not defined by the events of your past or your accomplishments.

You are not solely your trauma or your achievements.

While these things may influence you, they do not encompass your entire being.

You are a complex and multifaceted human being, filled with light, darkness, pain, and healing. It is difficult to capture your essence fully with mere words. You are interconnected with the Earth as part of the human experience, a mystical being experiencing life on a planet of blood and bone, living on soil, surrounded by a million things.

My second intention is to reach my Gentle goals.

What are Gentle goals?

Gentle goals are the kind of goals that prioritise self-care, mindfulness, and balance. They are goals not driven by external pressures or the need to prove something to others but rather by the desire to improve oneself in a kind and sustainable way. Gentle goals are about being kind to yourself, setting realistic expectations, and allowing yourself the time and space to achieve them at your own pace.

These goals may include practising self-love, prioritising mental health, and finding balance in all areas of life. They are about making small, manageable changes that add to a significant, positive impact on your overall well-being.

Gentle goals are not about pushing yourself to the brink of burnout or comparing yourself to others. They are about being compassionate towards yourself and recognising that taking breaks, asking for help, and making mistakes are okay.

Gentle goal setting is about creating a fulfilling, meaningful, and sustainable life. It's about prioritising your well-being and finding peace and contentment. So, if you want to set goals for yourself, consider making them gentle and focused on self-care and compassion.

My gentle goals are as follows.

1. Prioritise my three wins a day.

Each day, I will try the rule of three and aim for a win in my physical, mental, and spiritual well-being to live a balanced and fulfilled life.

Firstly, physical wins are essential to maintain our overall health. This can be as simple as regular exercise, eating a balanced diet, and getting enough sleep. Taking care of our bodies gives us the energy and stamina to tackle the challenges that come our way.

My physical wins are what is necessary to help sustain my health. I would love a miracle, and maybe I will get one. But until then, I will continue running a diary for my daily medications, the weekly rosters of things I need to stop and start, and the appointments I need to manage. Then there is the physical health, and I must stay fit enough to handle the wave of things my health throws at me.

That means I need to move for at least 30 minutes a day. Drink enough water and be proactive in doing my best to turn the tables.

Next, mental wins are crucial for maintaining a healthy mindset. This can include practising mindfulness, engaging in hobbies that bring us joy, or seeking mental health support when needed. Taking care of our mental health allows us to approach life with a clear and positive mindset, making it easier to handle the stresses and struggles that may arise—reading or listening to a book could even hit this target.

I commit seven minutes daily to manifest my goals and dreams and talk to God about my prayers and concerns. Hopefully, I can allocate more; I’m just starting small.

Lastly, spiritual wins are essential for our inner peace and purpose. This can be achieved through meditation, prayer, or simply spending time in nature and connecting with something greater than us. Taking care of our spiritual well-being allows us to feel grounded and connected, providing a sense of meaning and fulfilment. Somewhere in this include a gratitude activity.

This is going to be my seven minutes again somewhere in the day.

Overall, it's essential to prioritise these three daily wins for me, and I encourage any reader to embrace them, too. By taking care of our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being, we can better navigate the challenges and uncertainties that life throws our way.

Outside of my gentle goals, I have a gentle goals bucket list for 2024, listed as follows.

• Grow in my spirituality more.

• See where God shows up in my life more.

• Work on my relationship more with God.

• Grow my business and take it to new levels.

• I want to manifest abundance in the eight areas of Wellness: spiritual, financial, physical, occupational, intentional, environmental, and emotional.

• Save more money for my future goals.

• Watch more sunsets.

• Marvel at more sunrises

• Be more grateful.

• Share warm smiles with strangers.

• Write more.

• Paint more.

• Take more photos.

• Wonder and stand under the stars at night at least once or twice this year.

• Discover new quotes and songs that I love.

• Say yes to as much adventure as I can.

• Try one new recipe this year.

• Read at least one book, if not more.

• Say what I mean to myself and others.

• First, I want to treat myself with respect, care, love, and attention, then do the same to others.

• Drink more water.

• Listen with intent, respect, interest and compassion regarding others and myself.

• Adopt gratitude more and let it transform my life.

• Spend more time in nature.

• Travel more.

• Work more on the goal of contentment, not happiness.

• Create more.

• Love hard always.

• Dream wildly.

• Hug my loved ones more.

• Always remember that time is fleeting.

• Devote time for self-transformation daily.

• Hold space for transformative relationships.

• Tell my loved ones I love them more, including all my loved ones and family friends.

• I want to immerse myself in every drop of goodness and every day.

• I want to live deeply, courageously, passionately, and honestly.

• Lastly, I want to be more open to wonder, compassion, and love.

When it comes to writing, I want to write from the heart.

I want to write about things that matter to me.

I want to finish writing my book and my children's series and head down the path of becoming published.

I want to write more mental health resources and courses and help people, which will also help me with more finances.

I want to lastly join a writer's group and do some creative writing at least once a month.

As we approach 2024, it's essential as writers and people to think about the areas of our lives where we can make minor, meaningful improvements. Rather than setting lofty New Year's resolutions, it's about having a vision for the year ahead and setting gentle goals that are realistic and achievable.

It's essential to be authentic to our creative gifts and share our words to be transformative to ourselves and others.

Instead of redesigning our lives completely, maybe we all can focus on specific areas where we can make positive changes.

This could include improving our physical health through regular exercise and a balanced diet, prioritising our mental well-being by practising mindfulness and self-care or investing in our personal and professional growth through continuous learning and development.

The world knows the SMART Goals method, and I encourage you to think of that framework when making gentle goals.

Here’s a refresher if you have forgotten the acronym.

SMART in SMART goals stands for:

🌸Specific

🌸Measurable

🌸Achievable

🌸Relevant

🌸Time-Bound

Rather than aiming for over-the-top goals that are too difficult to achieve, we can break them down into smaller, manageable steps. This could involve setting specific and measurable targets, such as going for a 30-minute walk three times a week, meditating for 10 minutes daily, or signing up for a course to develop new skills.

By focusing on the vision for 2024 and setting Gentle goals with the SMART ethos, we can make steady progress in the areas of our lives that matter most to us. It's about making small, sustainable changes that will impact meaningfully over time. So, as we look ahead, let's not just think about New Year's resolutions but about the gentle goals we can set to improve our lives in the coming year.

Use 2024 as the year to reclaim spaces of fear and move through them, be it writer's block or some terrible thing that happened that left scars that you need to recover from. Make your New Year and goals surrounding this year, for writing or not, be about listening to your inner voice and what it says.

Go softly into the rest of the year. The best work, be it writing or life, is often done quietly, with breaks, rest, from the corner or sidelines, with patience and love.

Written by Emma White.