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When the Meme-ing Gets Tough, the Tough Get Meme-ing!

A Third Asinine Collection of Amusing Memes 'Borrowed' From Social Media to Bring You Mirth!!!

By Lightning BoltPublished 2 years ago โ€ข Updated 2 years ago โ€ข 8 min read
16

UPDATED: This used to be called More Meme-ing for the Biggest Laughs Yet!!! The new title is much more inspirational, don't you think?

โšก___________________โšก

So I published a bunch of stupid memes, with the intent of titillating!

And it actually seemed to work!

This is the shit I'm taking about... ๐Ÿ‘‡

I was suprised by people's reactions to that โ˜๏ธ nonsense!

Almost every day, I interact with Vocal authors through various Facebook groups and, in reaction to my memes, people expressed a fervent desire for comedy! ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ I picked up several new subscriptions last week.

{ Thanks to One & All for reading my crap! }

So. ๐Ÿค”

Because of 'popular demand', I went ahead and compiled another bunch of amusing memes and paired the second batch up with still more of my inane jokes. Once again, a couple of eccentric people snickered.

{Originally, Part 2 was called More Meme-ing For Bigger Laughs! Now it's entitled... ๐Ÿ‘‡ }

When I originally posted the first of this memey lunacy, I thought I would be doing just a one time comedy bit. I have ideas for fiction I want to develop. But my audience seemed to like my humor and who am I to deny them what they want? So this all ballooned into an ongoing series-- and that's why I decided to change the titles and a couple other details in these earlier editions.

WARNING: This 'comedy' is juvenile! My sense of humor is wack! ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ I'm a crude old man with an R-rated love for double entendres and a G-rated giddish gladness for pathetic puerile puns (and astonishingly annoying alliteration!) My intention today is to provide you with some chuckles. But, be forewarned, some of these jokes are dirty!

And I mean, like: really obscene this time. Filthy. There's a song I'm going to sing for the finale that is awfulโ€” just awful! ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

So Continue At Your Own Risk!!!

Here now, for your entertainment, is the Third installment of...

Meme-ing For Laughs!

(with extra added side-jokes specifically for writers!)!!!

โšก๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘

#1-

Judged: clearly NOT REAL!!!

Clearly, this poster ๐Ÿ‘† is a fake! "Celibate Sasquatch?" Are you kidding me? Everyone knows there is no such thing as a "celibate sasquatch"!

Their feet aren't the only thing about them that is notoriously Big! ๐Ÿ˜‰

And seriously... what the hell else is someone supposed to do in a U.S. National park other than 'lovemaking'? Enjoy the great outdoors? ๐Ÿ˜‚ Stop to smell the roses? ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

I don't think so!

Fakes are everywhere.

โšก

#2-

fake?

Since when do zombies have the motor skills to type? And if they theoretically could type out a note, would it ever be this clean? Wouldn't there be, like, splatters of blood or rotten skin flakes on it? Just look how pristine โ˜๏ธ that note is! ๐Ÿ‘€

I question its authenticity.

But I'm admittedly not a girl, so I'll let ya'all do you. No judgement. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

#3-

Don't! DON'T!!

Seriously: DON'T!

The birthplace of the corn dog does smell way better than the birthplace of the chili dog! ๐Ÿ˜

Still...

You really DON'T want to

๐ŸŒญ

โšก_____________________________โšก

#4- I love shirt like this! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘‡

clothes captioned for the hearing impaired

LIGHTNING: I heard they shirt the doors because of a power outfittage.

BOLT: well I heard they may shoes to sleeve it clothesed indefinitely ๐Ÿ˜ข

LB: Oh no! Godformitten! ๐Ÿ’” Don't they care how much garment causes the children??? ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Lightning Boltโšก: Everyone is worn out. The entire faculty is attired!

โšก

Complaints about how bad these puns are will not be addressed!

๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚โšก

โšก___________________________โšก

We Pause for our 1st Inspirational Message for Writers...

๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Just remember, if you are trying to stave off this inevitability๐Ÿ‘†โ€” when stacked properly, books can be used as a variety of furniture, including (but not limited to) end-tables, foot stools, TV stands, even the frames for a couch or a bed (just add lots of cushions!) Shouldn't our most favorite books share not just our lives, but our weight?

Just something to think about....

๐Ÿค”

โšก

#5- ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ˜ธ๐Ÿ˜บ๐Ÿ˜ฝ

"Serve me well or catch claws!"

That one ๐Ÿ‘† is for all the wonderful folk on Vocal who have kitties. ๐Ÿ˜ผ Isn't the hashtag: #CatsOfVocal? โšก๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘

His name is Mr. Sweetfluffle and he doesn't fuck around! ๐Ÿ˜พ

โšก___________________________โšก

So...

...do you see what I'm doing here with this third installment of insipidness?

Are you a writer?

<assuming the answer is probably 'yes'>

I'm trying to write for my audience!

So let's pause the jocularity again, shall we? Here's our 2nd Inspirational Message for You...

I fear the F.B.I. might not understand

If you sometimes question your sanity, thinking you have multiple personalities, and you know entirely too much trivia about 1) the Top Ten Greatest Real-life Prophets of All Time; 2) how reptiles and insects mate; 3) conspiracy theories about when and how A.I. will eventually predator us all; 4) the Lords of Hell; 5) the long-term affects of psychotropic drugs; 6) which historic love affairs ended in brutal murders; 7) Mayan blood rituals and their predictions about the end of the world; 8) the most effective and untraceable ways to poison Mt Dew; and especially 9) various bloodcurdling ways to eviserate people, (as well as actual websites where someone can buy the best tools for disembowelment)...

Don't worry!

You're not necessarily a psychopath!

You could be just a typical writer!

๐Ÿ™Œ

โšก_______________________โšก

#6- Another sign of the times ๐Ÿ‘‡...

Where exactly is this place located? Asking for a friend...

I really don't see the problem here. ๐Ÿ‘† ๐Ÿค”

Some memes just confuse me. ๐Ÿ™ƒ

Look at that sign closely! Clearly, it indicates that if you need to sneeze, you can take off your mask and use a tissue... but then you should put your mask back on!

And it's equally clear that if you are horny, you can take off your mask to give someone a blowjob... but after you make him cum, once again, you put your mask back on!

It's really just a common courtesy!

๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿฆด๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฅ๐ŸŒ‹๐ŸŽ‡๐Ÿ’ฆ๐ŸŽ†๐Ÿ’ฆ๐ŸŽ‡๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ง๐Ÿคธโ€โ™‚๏ธ.....๐Ÿฅ‚...........โšก๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ‘

โšก

#7-

Of course, the Jameses of the object-world will never be as near & dear to humans as the Hakeems, who provide both warmth and vibration. ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰ <nudge, nudge> Know what I mean?

โšก___________________โšก

We Pause now for our 3rd Inspirational Message for Writers...

Okay, so maybe that wasn't so inspirational after all.

My bad.

๐Ÿ˜ฌ

#8-

Kind of a Public Service Announcement

Reminder: Life is never as bad as it seems!

โšก

#9-

Who's got Bengay?

Reminder: Life is always way worse than it seems!

๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

โšก

#10-

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

So... Atheists? I'm really not trying to be confrontational or open up a can of worms (despite the fact we've already established those cans are not near the calamity they've been advertised to be). But seriously... what is so repugnant about that message of grace? ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘†

๐Ÿ˜‰

#11-

After that 120 seconds ๐Ÿ‘†, I decided to become a writer, and I've then used that trauma to fuel my fantasies ever since!

โšก๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘

My shameful confession...

โšก________________________โšก

Okay.

<whew> ๐Ÿ˜…

Forgive me... but maintaining this high level of comedy is just exhausting. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚ I'm only doing a dozen memes this time (plus the special ones for writers). But this last meme I'm coughing up for you? It comes complete with a song!

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

#12-

๐ŸŽต๐ŸŽผ Fuck shed! Baby, give head!

It's no wonder why their follow-up song isn't as well known. The B52s didn't even bother to write a new melody! They just changed the lyrics so they were vulgar!

It was just lazy!

{ These are the lyrics I warned you about at the top of the program. }

Use that tune ๐Ÿ‘† to sing these lyrics ๐Ÿ‘‡...

๐ŸŽผ๐ŸŽต๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽค๐Ÿ˜โšก

๐ŸŽถ You see a painted sign on your way through the woods that says 15 spanks to enter the Fuuuuuuck Shed!

Fuck Shed, yeah, yeah!

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

๐ŸŽถ I'm headed up the Hershey highway! ๐Ÿซ

Lookin for a fuck right away!

Headed for a hot-swap four-way!

4๏ธโƒฃโค๏ธ๐Ÿค๐Ÿ–ค๐ŸคŽ

๐ŸŽต๐ŸŽถ I got me a cock, it's as big as a whale

And we're headed on down to the FUCK SHED!

I got me some condoms, a box about twenty

So hurry up and bring your sugar-pot honey!

๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ’“โ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ

CHORUS....

๐ŸŽต๐ŸŽถ The Fuck Shed is stinky old shack where we can screw each other!

Fuck Shed! Baby, give head!

Fuck Shed! Baby, Fuck Shed!

Fuck Shed! Baby, Give Head!

๐Ÿฆด

๐ŸŽต๐ŸŽผ Sign says (woo): "Come inside, tools!

Because fucks rule at the Fuck Shed!"

Well, it's hidden in the middle of the woods

It's a funky old shed where everybody's getting bred!

๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ’‘๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ’

๐ŸŽผ๐ŸŽต๐ŸŽถ Kissin' and then blowin',

humpin' like we're lovers

Never wearin' nothin',

its as hot as a muther

The whole shed rattles

You can hear the whips and paddles

When everyone's fucking around and around and around and AROUND!

Everybody's fucking! Everybody's sucking, baby!

Stinky little shed! Everybody gives great head!

๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

๐ŸŽต๐ŸŽถ Hop on my penis, it's as big as a whale and it's about to impale!

I got me some condoms, a box about ten,

So come on and bring dat tight rear end!

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

CHORUS: ๐ŸŽต๐ŸŽถ Oh, the Fuck Shed is stinky rat trap where we can bump our uglies!

Fuck Shed! Baby, Fuck Shed!

Fuck Shed! Baby, Give Head!

๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜›

๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ BANG! BANG!! on the back door, baby (scream a little louder!)!!

๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ BANG! BANG! on the back door, baby!!!

๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ BANG! BANG! on the back door, baby (fuck a little harder!)!!

๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ BANG! BANG! on the back door, baby!!

BANG BANG!!!

You're what?

Not V.D. tested?!?

๐Ÿคฏ

โšก

โšก______________________โšก

I know. ๐Ÿ‘† That was a lot to take in.

๐Ÿฅด

But I can't help myself!!!

I gotta post one more to make it a baker's dozen!

Wait. Before I dig up another meme and craft a masterful joke, hang on just one second. I should check my Inbox first...

.......... ๐Ÿ‘€

Steve can kiss me & Elon's asses!

There ya go! That's twelve! I gotta run now. Without me guiding him, James is going to seriously fuck up that Avatar sequel!

Until Next Time...

Thanks bunches for your readership!

_______________Bolt โšก

THE END

You know It must be impressive๐Ÿ‘† by the reaction of those women.

V๏ปฟocal has no commitment to COMEDY!!๐Ÿ‘‡!๐Ÿ˜ ! !!!!

Still more of this stupid series ๐Ÿ‘‡...

Meme-ing For Laughs

To Meme or Not to Meme? That is the Question!

They were the Worst of Memes, They were the Best of Memes

The End Doesn't Justify the Memes!

We Don't Stop Meme-ing Because It Grows Old; We Grow Old Because We Stop Meme-ing (awarded Top Story for some inexplicable reason ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ).

Bad Memes Rising (with extra Salaciousness)

Quote the Raven: "Memeingmore!"

That Which Does Not Kill Us Makes Us Memer

I๏ปฟ Think, Therefore I Meme

โšก๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘

More Are Coming! Subscribe!!

humorhumor
16

About the Creator

Lightning Bolt

From out of the blue, _Bolt โšกwrites horror galore, Sci-Fi, Superheroes & strange Poetry + MEME-ing MADNESS X12.

Vocal needs a Comedy Community!

Proud member of the Vocal Social Society on Facebook.

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  • Made in DNA2 years ago

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Great chuckles in this one.

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