Delusions on the Rocks
While on these Premises: Please Drink Irresponsibly!
In the state of Delirium,
~~ on the shores of the Gibbering Sea
My mad lover pines for me
In the city of Dementia,
~~ at the end of Unbalanced Lane
My lover slowly drinks herself insane
In the loony bin in the corner,
~~ at the back of the Bedlam Bar
My sad lover licks her scars
Under pin-prick lights from the disco ball,
~~ by the electro-shock machine
-------->> My crazy lover drinks and schemes <----
On her best days, she’s a maniac!
On her worst days, she’s likely to attack!
On bad hair days, you might just hear her SCREAM!!!!
On our wedding day, she was giddy and she was mean!
She buzzes from bees in her bonnet
~~~ and rattles from loose screws!
She’s one noodle shy of being soup!
She’s bereft of all reason, a daft dopey dunderhead!
Is it any wonder why we wed?
At parties, she’s always a madcap cut-up!
In private, she's a lunatic who won't shut up!
She’s got some major issues she needs to work out
Meanwhile, her melancholy makes her shout and pout
Her mother suffered from kleptodipsomania
Her father thought he was the king of Lithuania
As a child, her imaginary friend was a raving loon
As a teen, she took to baying at the moon
And when the Mafia had her entire family whacked
By a deadly, silent mime attack
She went a little berserk and then she cracked
But she left behind her marbles and didn’t look back
She laughed aloud at the lucidity that she lacked
Coherency was a monkey on her back
Freedom is the inability to keep track
~~I MET HER IN COLLEGE
on the day they put me in the stocks ~~~
My mad lover looked adorable in jester socks!
Now she sits in the dark
And goes mad raving stark
~~Drinking delusions
~~~~~~~~ on the rocks
Drinking delusions
~~~~~~~~ on the rocks~~
The bouncer at the Bedlam Bar is a blathering boob
The waitresses are rabid, unruly, and rude
The bipolar bartender can either be depressed or lewd
While serving catatonic patrons through IV tubes
Double Price Happy Hour bilks the rubes
And my crazy lover drinks to delude
The jukebox at the Bedlam Bar plays a jackal’s song
While the older psychos discuss just what went wrong
The bipolar bartender is bonkers to serve that throng
He wants them To All Just Get Along
The only video game they have is Pong
On the men’s room door is a picture of Mao Zedong
The phobics at the Bedlam Bar are afraid to drink
The narcissists are only there to cruise the twinks
The bipolar bartender was nervous when her saw her wink
My mad lover likes to make a stink
She can say the weirdest things and never blink
Need Internet hysteria? She has the link
Dimwits and halfwits and lackwits and lunkheads
Thick-skulls and numbskulls, idiots and imbeciles
The ninnies, the nincompoops, the zanies, the dolts
The schizoid, the disordered, the neurotic, the oafs
Of all the befuddled simpletons being served at the Bedlam Bar
My mad lover is the most muddled by far!
Most of the sops who drink twisted booze
Mistakenly believe they have nothing left to lose (loose?)
Even though she’s paranoid!
About getting null and void!
My mad lover is more than fit and able!
To drink the dizziest dullard under the table!!
She guzzles hallucinations like they’re going out of style!!!
She inundates herself with liquor like the unhinged Nile!!!!!!
In the city of Dementia,
~~~~ on the shores of the Gibbering Sea
My mad lover drinks to me!
When I get out of this Asylum,
~~~~~ I’m going to Unbalanced Lane
Even though I can’t remember my lover’s name!
In the loony bin in the corner, I’ll take her into my arms
And do my mad lover some serious harm!!
I love her madly even though she drives me insane!
I can’t wait to lovingly bash out her brains!!!
My mad lover looks yummy in jester socks!
My mad lover drinks delusions on the rocks!
In a tavern near the Drooling Oddity Docks
My mad lover drinks Delusions on the Rocks!
If you need therapy after that ☝ ... try this 👇.
And while the Bedlam Bar doesn't play actual music... if it did, this would be the playlist. 👇 😁👍
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Thank you kindly for your support!
_____________Bolt ⚡
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Comments (3)
Wonderfully crazy ride!
Oh my goodness, this was so much fun and so well done! "Drink up, cuckoos" had me rolling. I loved it!
Insanely amusing and amazing poetry, Bravo. Take bow for this creation 👏🥳