humor
Workplace witticisms, job jokes and career quips; who says work can't be a laughing matter?
My Most Embarrassing Moment At Work
It could happen to anyone. If you had been there, you might have made the same mistake. I was working for the Toronto office of Warner Brothers. It was my first day on the job and I had a lot to learn.
Conny ManeroPublished 4 years ago in Journal7 Hilarious Job Interview Stories.
You know how it goes. The anticipating, the praying, the studying, the getting ready, the waiting, the getting called to the HR's office. If you've ever applied for a job and had to go in for an interview, then you know what I'm talking about. That process is BRUTAL!
Jide OkonjoPublished 4 years ago in JournalWhen the job hunter becomes the prey
I’m in the middle of being scammed for the second time in less than a week. This time I know I’m being scammed; this time I will not end up $400 light. I know the score, and I’m going through the motions once more for the purpose of research, and a bit of sadism.
Benjamin ScheerPublished 4 years ago in JournalThe Best Office Prank
Some pranks are so good, that you will never forget them. You can hear them told, but seeing it first hand really burns them in. I had the great pleasure of being front row seat to one of them and I can honestly say this will stay with me forever. It’s my happy place and obviously one of my fondest memories of working at this location.
Jody McAlisterPublished 4 years ago in JournalThen life happens
Immediately wasn’t a strong enough word to discribe the urgent necessity of the next 24hrs. DEFCON SIX! The sky was falling . Every creative solution was on the table. And chicken little wouldn’t play here. “Figure it out “ was the only solution on all screens. Checking accounts and credit cards still not enough. Crap already 4:15am, nineteen hours and fourtyfive minutes left. “ Thinking “I’ll eat the success of the morning for breakfast. Besides can not spend one frivolous penny on luxuries like food right now.” Champ just then rememberers, have to make a quick call as the vehicle warms up. Now grilling the gas gauge sternly , as if to say “ I know you have more gas than that , give it up?!” The gas needle stood strong and stubborn just next to the red line for empty. Taunting with the cruelty of school children. Now having lost the first battle of the day to the gas gauge, hungry for success, war had begun . The mission was still at hand. Dusting off the frustration of the now fourtyfive minutes. Champ reaching for the ash tray.. it’s that kind of morning.. Nineteen hours left. Optimism is the word of the day. After going over some online banking it is clear there were unnecessary overdraft fees. Sweet, bank opens a 9am, gotta get that back. That was still four hours away, and the clock was ticking. Had set up some early bird work for 5:30am. Pulling into park at the job, the gas light comes on.. “ Man.. You can’t be serious right now?!” Hoping this service would come with a tip, could get some fuel after. After driving to two locations with the gas light on. The job was completed, yet no tip.. Still a good distance from the main bank branch more driving was necessary. There was a long conversation of inspiration between champ with the vehicle as it slowly crusied into the bank parking lot , gas light a bright orange gas pump symbolizing “ you know better than to be out of fuel at this point in your life .“ First cuts the deepest... Fine then! Lets get a little blood on the tongue. “And now Ladies and gentleman we’ve got a fight. In this corner standing proud and full of grit, your challenger, an optimistic young excited ambitious, tenacious warrior full of hope. Champ. And now , in this corner the undisputed , undefeated heavyweight, middleweight, featherweight and all weights in between, never been knock down The Champion LIFE” Just then an email alert shock back to reality “ your wireless bill is now pass due.” With out a phone there would be no work. “Don’t work, don’t eat. “ this officially went up the list! Thinking “man, you cant be serious right now.” 9am , bank open. A quick chat with the security guards on the way in for good measure. It was time to sit down with the bank manager. After about 20minutes of pleasantries and precious seconds-overdraft fees had been reversed. Yes! Sweet victory. Not one moment to spare. Celebrating would be later. Satisfaction would be the buffet of the evening. Reversing overdraft fees created just enough to secure fuel and leave the rest. Alright call wireless company to set up a payment plan. First call , long hold , yuck. Champ really did not care for the operators holy’er than thou attitude. Hang up and call back until a more understanding voice comes over the line. This process took over an hour. Finally a deal was reached , two more weeks to pay the full bill. Still pressure, just a bit less. Already pass 10am, another job booked for 11am with a thirty minute drive. After completing this service a one hundred dollar bill tip was given. Eureka a little more daylight. Lights were set to be cut off at 1pm. With twenty minutes to 1pm. Game was on. Hit the highway peddle to the floor. That $100 tip had to go in the bank to cover the light bill. After a quick stop and time spent on hold then finally getting the bill squared away. The clock was still ticking. One more job lined up 2:30pm, hopefully finishing up before the bank closes at 6pm. The lease is pass due and today it must be satisfied. Just a quarter tank of gas left and only a matter of hours before everything crumbles. Hall ass... Finishing up the last service and the customer wants to talk.. Not wanting to jeopardize a 5star rating , was fource to play along . After politely making an exit, you got it “go time!” Hall ass! 5:30pm and a fifteen minute drive to the bank. Cutting it close is an understatement. 5:45pm , why is there no were to park?! “You can’t be serious right now!” Time for an executive decision ! Double parking infront of the bank, security remembers champs pleasantries from earlier that morning and lets it slide. Champ screams to himself “Why is there a line in this bank ?” The cartoon vergin of life playing in his head the whole day. Thinking “ there is no way this is real life “ Yet it is.. After standing behind the worst smelling person on this planet earth and patiently waiting for the oldest bank teller in the world to finish having the most frivolous conversation, about what year the silver coins stop being made of full silver. A text comes threw “ think you can bring dinner home tonight?” Champ reading what, at this moment had to be the most inconsiderate words ever. Just could not find the patience to respond. Thinking “ wow, do wonders never cease?” Finally at the tellers window. And yes the oldest teller on earth. This cartoon day just won’t stop. Bless her heart she really ment well. After fun facts with the bank teller. And receiving the cashiers check to pay the lease , it was mad dash time. Hall ass!.. Gas light back on and that was the least of any worries right now. After 6pm now and the leasing office was closed. A call was made earlier making provisions in case such an event occurred. A brief drive to the home of property owner lease was paid. Now the only thing left was for champ to make it home on an empty tank. A few days and there would be more funds in the bank. Just have to sit tight. Finally arriving home feeling rather proud of having conquered the day. A voice says “you didn’t bring anything home for dinner?” Wow, this would be the icing on the cake , but no. Ordering take out with what was supposed to be gas money for the next day, champ was left with $13.90 left in the bank. Yet the satisfaction of conquering the day left no room for any food. A long shower and tomorrow would be another day. 4:15am day two. With a calming sense of accomplishment from the day before it was time to start another day. Lite stretch and a trip to the restroom to wash up and then forward. Champ checking the bank balance while getting in the vehicle it reads “ negative funds $0.10 monthly service fee $14.00 -$35.00 overdraft fee negative balance $35.10. Start the vehicle “ding” the gas lights on. Champ thinks “Man really!” “You can’t be serious right now?!”
Mr. FurthermoorePublished 4 years ago in JournalOMG … Did I Just Say That!
Are you familiar with the phrase ‘Shooting a camel’? No? It’s a phrase from my homeland Belgium and it means doing something wrong, more specifically making a blunder. As it is, I shot the mother of all camels this morning.
Conny ManeroPublished 4 years ago in JournalBad timing.
After college, I decided to explore the job market and try different ways to generate income. I was working for a mobile meat company (the ones with freezers in the back of their trucks). Everyday, we would look at a map of the state and pick a random place to drive to sell the meat from the back of our truck.
Workplace Apocalypse
Crumbling brick walls replace cubicles. Tattered blankets act as doors. People rely on barrel fires spread throughout for warmth. A wall marks those who've fallen. When you open your eyes, however, you realize it's not a post-apocalyptic world; it's your toxic workplace. If you’ve recently woken up to the realities of your employer, consider the following tips as your crash course for navigating your new world till redemption.
Robyn RussoPublished 4 years ago in JournalSo this is called "Customer Service?" Seriously?
You just purchased something that you've been wanting for a while. You've done your homework and read up on all the amazing features that come with the new toy that you just purchased. The reviews were terrific, and you thought to yourself, "I can't go wrong". You read about "how easy it is to assemble", "how your satisfaction is guaranteed", "how it's easier than ever to use", blah, blah, blah.
Frank LucaPublished 4 years ago in JournalThe Day the CIA Approached Me to Write Backstories.
My coffee is as cold as are my ideas. I walked up to the counter and ordered a refill. Trish, the barista, refilled my cup and handed it back to me. “You look like you need this. This cup is on-the-house.”
Don FeazellePublished 4 years ago in JournalAllergies: Under 'S' For 'See Allergies'
Who ARE the people who design software programs? It is a mystery but I believe I know the answer to who designed the software for the Community Health program known as PARIS. And, which has forever ruined that name for me or any desire to visit what is purported to be the most beautiful city in the world. City of Light? My ass. City of Perpetual Pain PTSD.
Diane RandlePublished 4 years ago in Journal21 Truths Being a Work-From-Home Dad of a Toddler
Deciding to become a work-from-home freelancer is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. Becoming a dad is another one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.
John TeehanPublished 4 years ago in Journal