The Best Office Prank

Some pranks are so good, that you will never forget them. You can hear them told, but seeing it first hand really burns them in. I had the great pleasure of being front row seat to one of them and I can honestly say this will stay with me forever. It’s my happy place and obviously one of my fondest memories of working at this location.

The Location

The office space was setup in rows of cubicles that formed large connected squares that 4 people were stationed. A large open spaced room with the cubicles being slightly less than chest high at their tallest. This meant that phone conversations were only slightly muted from co-workers that were on the other side of walls, and certainly no muting was occurring between those that were in your large square. Everybody was 6 feet apart in this square, so it was comfortable, especially compared to ones I’ve heard about or seen on TV.

The victim : George

George stood rather than sat at his cubicle on the other side of the wall, at the station opposite the co-worker behind me. This meant conversations were easy, keyboard and mouse clicking sounds were constant and the phone calls were never private. George was my friend after work as well. He was a dedicated father and husband, enduring an hour plus commute in the mornings and evenings. He was energetic, reserved and one of most well liked people on the floor. In groups, he was the quieter of the bunch and yet was the first person to commit to his Halloween costume and be in character all day.

Derek sat diagonally to George in their large square. He was also a friend, but unlike George in many ways. Derek was first to speak out in a meeting, rebellious and very down to earth. Most importantly, he was a clever joker that was capable of rerouting a situation into his favor or exploiting the kink in a persons armor for a good laugh.

On this day, the day of the prank. George was on a call. The longer it went, the more it started registering in my head that it was not a work call. Derek of course, had been listening the whole time. George had told him before making the call that his wife had called and said the IRS was trying to get a hold of him due to some money owed. George was now talking to the “IRS”.

Listening from my seat, I had no idea what the call was about yet or how it had started. I only had the half the conversation to go on at this point and missed the opening salvos.

“I’m all paid up, what do I owe you for?”

“What? How much?”

“Which year?”

“No, I’m sure I’m all paid up”

Silence as the other person talks longer. George starts to shuffle nervously.

“Why didn’t I hear about this earlier?”

Sighs. “Alright, how do we fix this?

“And I can pay you over the phone?”

George goes still. “I knew it! This is a scam!!!”

I’ll give George credit, he yelled, but kept it so contained, that few beyond the immediate cubicle rows would have noticed.

“I’m not paying, you screwed up. This is a scam!”

“Yeah, well go ahead, send the police. You know where I am!”

George hung up quickly, you could tell he was amped. Pretty sure he had just done the right thing, but slightly doubting if he really had.

I stood up and start talking to George, getting all the background of how it had started and what the other side was saying.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Derek stand up and make his way to the stairway.

George and I share a laugh. Of course it had to be a scam, we’ve all heard of it! Right? He did the right thing, he caught them in the act. I sit back down to see my instant messenger program bouncing in my dock.

Derek had made it back to his desk by now and had sent me a message.

For reference, Monica was our greeter in the main lobby. She redirected calls and signed people in for access to our floors. You had to have a security card for the doors or Monica was your first stop.

Derek had written, “I went down to Monica and asked her to call George in 20 minutes and say the police are downstairs”. I try not to laugh and draw George’s attention, he is just at the perfect enough angle to actually see what’s on my screen if he tries.

I reply back with a thumbs up emoji and clear the instant messages.

About 25 minutes go by, but Monica hasn’t called. Derek and I start messaging again.

“Why hasn’t she called?”

“Did she chicken out”

“Go down and remind her”

Then it happened, George answers the phone after seeing Monica’s extension without suspecting anything. It catches him completely by surprise.

“Hi Monica”

“What?”

Voice gets a little higher. “Are you serious?”

Big breath. “Uh… OK, Uh… I’ll be right there”

George puts his head down for a second and collects himself. Takes another deep breath and briskly starts walking to the Lobby, passing Derek on the way. “The cops are here for me!” he says to Derek. Derek gets up and follows George.

George gets about halfway and stops, comes back to his station and closes everything down as he is now suspecting he won’t be coming back. He grabs his wallet and says to me shaking his head, “Guess I’ll be needing this”. His eyes are wide, this has gone completely sideways for him.

Meanwhile Derek has continued down to the lobby.

George strides purposely down to the lobby. This is the resigned stride of man thinking he is going to his doom. In hind sight, I can feel a little sorry for him, especially after putting this into physical words. But this was the way our group worked. If they can get you, they will.

I see George open the door to the Lobby and step through. It’s one of those self closing doors, so it’s open for a good few seconds as it closes. After about a 1 second delay I hear Derek let out a deep laugh that even people with headphones on can hear. Then Monica laughing in a much higher octave. The kind of laughs that do nothing more than to fuel the embarrassment of the victim.

The Wrap Up

For those that feel sorry for George, know that he laughed too. He came back visibly shaken but expressed his appreciation for the gotcha. If anything, he and Derek were a little closer, something that only a shared experience of high tension can do.

According to Derek, George came through the doors, looking like a man resigned to enter a disagreement but geared to win it. George stopped at the landing looking over the Lobby below and was quickly looking left and right for the police and then focused on Derek with a quizzical look on face.

Derek’s bellowing laugh became his realization moment.

This frequently comes back to me, so I had to share.