Diane Randle
Stories (10/0)
Why I NEEDED to Spend $3,000 on this Dolce Gabbana Kitchen Set
When I was a kid and balked at eating lima beans, which have been mysteriously misclassified as ‘food’, my Mother would say, “There are kids starving in Africa (Chile, China, California) who would love to eat those lima beans!”
By Diane Randle5 years ago in Feast
I Asked My BFF When She Started Masturbating
A text to Sheila R., my best friend. ME: 'Hahaha. Thanks for the suggestion. Best vibrator I've ever used. Hey, how did you started masturbating LOL? Like what was the first time? Did you know what you were doing or what? What made you start touching yourself?
By Diane Randle5 years ago in Filthy
President Trump Put In Your Hearing Aid
No? Are you sure? Okay, we’ll use the screen. Don’t, Mr. President please, you cannot touch the screen. Mr. President you’re not allowed to hit and I will leave and you will be by yourself again. Is that what you want? No?
By Diane Randle5 years ago in The Swamp
I Cost My Friend $40,000 Because I Didn't Believe In Myself
It is not easy to write about failure. It is especially difficult when the failure was not borne of a mistake but a mistaken belief in myself that turned out to be, ironically, not enough belief in myself. And it is a hundred fold more difficult, or a million, when that failure cost a dear friend financially, emotionally, physically and mentally. Sigh…
By Diane Randle5 years ago in Motivation
Walmart Owners Offer Employees 3% Discount On “Dumpster Diving Classes”
“Times are tough. Everybody knows that. I mean I think I heard that somewhere or something.” Ronnie Walton, one of the heirs to the Walmart fortune said Friday at a press conference called by the $130 Billion dollar Waltons, owners of Walmart. The U.S.’s largest employer is set to roll out a new plan to help Walmart employees with their household budgets.
By Diane Randle5 years ago in Journal
Allergies: Under 'S' For 'See Allergies'
Who ARE the people who design software programs? It is a mystery but I believe I know the answer to who designed the software for the Community Health program known as PARIS. And, which has forever ruined that name for me or any desire to visit what is purported to be the most beautiful city in the world. City of Light? My ass. City of Perpetual Pain PTSD.
By Diane Randle5 years ago in Journal
iSpeak Polling Finds Polls Wrong
iSpeak Polling Finds Polls Inaccurate Quite a Lot iSpeak Polling (formerly We Listen Polling) has released a report over 50 or so years in the making. The report tracked pollster’s predictions from 1962, when polling probably began, and found they are ‘inaacurate’ 10 or 11 times out of 10 with a margin of error of 9.767 or 20 some points or percents.
By Diane Randle5 years ago in The Swamp
Was the Baby Crying?
October 12, 2017: Jake and Zeke are walking together in front of us, I admire the muscles and sleek black and white coats of my boys as we move along the curving gravel from the barn back up to my long low bungalow tucked warm into the slope. The crunch of the gravel under my boots, the hard blue of Alberta sky, our faint breath in the air, the comforting heaviness of my coat, the earthy old apple smell of fall and my beloved Verity in my arms, it all makes me heady with gratitude. I smile, looking at the dogs, and feel my heart bloom warmth through my chest. My boys, my sweetie boys, as I call the two-year-old brothers, make life here possible. In my sixties now and on my own, I couldn’t live out here in Speargrass without them. My companions. My fur babies. My protectors. I am unaware in this moment of the stoking of an unquenchable fire inside them that will, moments from now, blast across my beloved homestead and raze my world.
By Diane Randle5 years ago in Criminal