Satire

One Loose Screw and the Whole Cabinet Falls Apart
Product Description: This furniture is a statement piece that says, “I am the greatest thing in this room, and every other room, and also rooms I haven't entered yet.” With its innovative hollow-core construction and industry-leading lack of structural integrity, this unit is guaranteed to dominate any space while contributing absolutely nothing of value.
By Ian Vince7 months ago in Humor
Apologies for the Killing and Persecution and Whatnot. Top Story - April 2026.
Dear Science, Hello old friend. Speaking of old, how old are you now, like 500 years or something? I know that feels old, but trust me, it's nothing, wait until you hit 10,000 or even 50,000 years like me. That's when the old bones start creaking for sure. How have you been? I know it has been a while since we last talked, but I wanted to write you now to apologize for several incidents in the past that I may have been at least partly, if not totally responsible for. Unfortunately at least one of these incidents resulted in the death of a fairly solid fellow by the name of Hypatia of Alexandria. You may not remember since it was a bit before your time, but he was was killed by a Christian mob way back in 415. I took the blame for it even though it may have been politics that was more responsible than myself. Also, he wasn't technically a scientist but rather a philosopher and mathematician so probably I don't need to apologize to you, but I am doing it in any case because I no longer have contact info for either math or philosophy. I had your address in my old Iphone address book for some reason and figured you were close enough and could accept my apology on their behalf. Please pass the message along the next time you speak to either of them. You are still friends with them right? As I recall you were always really close with math though you and philosophy had quite a number of altercations over the years though nothing like all the crazy fights we've had, am I right?
By Everyday Junglist7 months ago in Humor
World’s First AI Therapy Robot Quits After 15 Minutes of Listening to Humans
Breaking Tech News: In a move hailed as “the future of mental health” by tech bros in hoodies, Silicon Valley proudly unveiled SerenityBot-9000, the world’s first AI therapy robot.
By The Pompous Post7 months ago in Humor
Important Rules on Drinking Tea
These notes contain important information regarding the serving of beverages at higher than ambient room temperature for the purposes of, but not limited to: thirst satiation; amelioration or partial satisfaction of cravings for mild, psychotropic alkaloids; oral pleasure; or the commission of a ritualistic act of social cohesion, such as a tea break or a scheduled mid-afternoon liaison with a Minister of the Church of England, otherwise known as a vicar.
By Ian Vince7 months ago in Humor
Un Intermède Amusant
Introduction I sometimes want to rearrange my stories by moving to draft and then resubmitting. Today, this happened. What Happened?
By Mike Singleton 💜 Mikeydred 7 months ago in Humor
Jesus' Epic Meltdown on Piers Morgan Uncensored
PIERS MORGAN: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to what may be the most controversial debate in television history. Tonight we have an absolutely insane panel: President Donald J. Trump, Pope Leo XIV, Elon Musk and Jesus H. Christ!
By Scott Christenson🌴7 months ago in Humor
The Great Vocal Top Story Rubics:
Listen, you absolute lunatics of the keyboard. You’ve been staring at your screen, haven’t you? You’ve been mainlining caffeine until your pulse started playing the drum solo from "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida," all while refreshing your Vocal dashboard like it’s a ticker-tape machine predicting the apocalypse. You’ve written your hearts out. You’ve bled onto the digital parchment. You’ve curated sentences so beautiful they should be illegal in at least four states. And yet? Silence. Alone in the dark with thousands of other mysterious & faceless legions of the lexicon.
By Meko James 7 months ago in Humor
Janus
No one told me, putting a folk in a toaster was a really bad idea. Fatal, so it would appear. As I approach the gates of heaven, I wonder how I could have been so stupid. The folded over waffle, in hindsight was not worth dying for.
By N J Delmas7 months ago in Humor
Peacock Apology Escalation
I am sorry about the peacock. That seems the most respectful place to begin, although I appreciate that even writing the word peacock in this context may feel inflammatory, given that until Tuesday morning you were under the perfectly reasonable impression that your wellness retreat, The Quiet Reset, did not involve any ornamental birds at all.
By Teena Quinn 7 months ago in Humor
Miami Beach and the Great Fabric Shortage: A Thong Gone Too Far?
FABRIC SCARCITY IN THE SUNSHINE STATE In a world where jeans once reigned supreme and “coverage” meant something, the state of Florida is having a thread famine. Places like Miami Beach decided to flip the script and the waistband. Somewhere between Key West boat ramps and the wild vortex known as Haulover Inlet, humanity is collectively experiencing “inattentional blindness” to fabric.
By The Pompous Post7 months ago in Humor
UNCLE SAM'S INDESPENSIBLE APOLOGY:
My Global Neighbors, Look, I’ll just say it: I’m sorry about the lawn. I know, I know. I told the neighbors I’d keep the hedges trimmed and the property values up, and now there’s a burnt-out Buick in the driveway and the sprinklers are spraying kerosene. My bad.
By Meko James 7 months ago in Humor
It was an innocent favour. Top Story - April 2026.
my dearest wife I know it looks dodgy but I have told you all there is too tell. I went too west Wales to do a follow up courses . I met up with people doing a similar courses, the advanced security training was only done in that part of the world. It seemed better to go down there and do it properly. It was all free , so it seemed worth the trip, learned a lot and met some decent people.
By ASHLEY SMITH7 months ago in Humor