Punch Your Face

A long time ago, a friend of mine, who grew up in a small rural town in my native country, visited my place for the first time. He didn't utter a word in English.

After settling in comfortably at my place, he expressed his desire to venture out on his own. I was a little concerned since he was new in town and quite naive.

Since he was eager to go out, I reluctantly agreed. Knowing that he was unfamiliar with interacting with locals, I gave him the following instructions.

Say 'Yes', and be friendly

I told him that if anyone approached him, to simply put a smile on his face and politely respond with a 'Yes'. He acknowledged my instructions and practiced saying the word a few times.

I thought it was a simple instruction for a village boy. Hopefully, he would do well.

Goes to a bar

After I left for work, our friend ventured out on his own for the first time. He spent a few hours wandering around the neighborhood before eventually entering a bar.

It was his first time inside a bar. He took a seat and started observing his surroundings. His attention was caught by a pretty girl sitting in the corner, engaged in an animated conversation with her boyfriend seated beside her.

He felt immediately attracted to her and found himself stealing glances at her initially. However, he couldn't resist admiring her beauty from a distance and continued to gaze intently at her.

First punch

The boyfriend gets irritated with this visual intrusion. He stood up from his seat, walked over to my friend's table, and asked him, 'Are you staring at my girlfriend'?

Unable to comprehend a single word spoken by this imposing figure and recalling his instructions, my friend politely responded with the only English word he knew, 'Yes'.

The boyfriend got even more irritated. He then asked my friend, 'Are you seriously interested in her?'

My friend replied affirmatively.

The boyfriend grew angrier, and then raising his fist in front of my friend and loudly asked, 'How dare you? Do you want me to punch you right now?

My friend, realizing the boyfriend's anger, meekly responded with the only English word he knew, 'Yes'.

Wham!

The boyfriend punched my friend right in the face.

Say 'No', to avoid trouble

When my friend came home crying, I had just returned from work. I inquired about the situation, and after he explained what had transpired at the bar, I felt sorry for him. As a newcomer in a foreign country, he didn't want to draw attention to himself. So we decided not to report this incident to anyone.

Since I couldn't offer him further assistance, I decided to teach him another English word to prevent potential problems in the future.

The second word was "No".

I advised him that if he encounters a similar situation in the future, he should simply say 'No'.

Second punch

The next day, equipped with this new word, he confidently walked into the same bar again.

Sure enough, the same girl and her boyfriend were still sitting there.

Upon seeing my friend, the boyfriend approached his table, raised his fist, and asked in a rough tone, 'You must be kidding. The punch that I gave you yesterday was not enough?'

Our friend, with a puzzled yet confident look, uttered his newly learned English word, 'No'.

Wham!

Our friend was punched in the face again.

Confusion

My friend was now thoroughly confused, and he was pondering what kind of world he was living in. No matter what he said, a 'Yes' or a 'No,' he ended up getting punched on both occasions.

From that day onwards, he decided to stop taking English lessons from me.

Growing up we used to say this as a joke among non-English speakers in native country.