Why Does Life Become Stagnant

Hmmm …

At times, our life seems stagnant. In our mind, we think, we are not progressing or getting better in life.

Although we are active, working, and engaged in our daily activities, we feel that we are not moving forward.

The worst part is, when we look at others, they seem to be progressing, while we feel stuck in life.

To change the scenario, we then venture out to do something new, or travel, seek relationships to break the monotone. But eventually, they all fade away.

Then we observe successful people who are moving ahead in life, and when we compare ourselves to them, we feel discouraged and express a desire to reach that stage too.

Eventually a questions arises in our mind. How do we move forward? How do we make progress?

We hear the phrases, like,

"Find your passion", "Follow your passion", "Find your niche".

"Think outside the box".

"Try to think outside the box".

How many times have we heard these, in one form or another?

Growing up, we sometimes hear this phrase from our parents, or teachers in school.

Occasionally, we hear this phrase from our coaches and mentors, while playing sports or, taking classes, or self-improvement courses.

But we hear this phrase "think outside the box" a lot from our management team in the corporate world. At work, we take it seriously and try to come up with an innovative solution to find a solution to a problem by thinking outside the box.

But we never apply this "thinking outside box" mindset in our personal life to improve ourselves.

Maybe Drop out of college or sit in a garage

Have you noticed that if some business achieves overnight success, then we often hear of the story of an ordinary kid who dropped out of college and, while sitting in a garage, came up with a brilliant idea to solve a complex problem by "thinking outside the box".

Wonder why genius ideas for great startups are mostly started by college dropouts inside a garage? Well, that's a discussion for another story.

But sadly, most of us spend our entire adult lives 'thinking inside the box,' and the worst part is we are not even aware of this limited mindset.

And it has nothing to do with you not being a college dropout or not sitting inside a garage.

Actually, it is this mindset of 'thinking inside the box' that we spend a significant portion of our lives pursuing the same unfulfilling endeavors.

And then we wonder why our lives remain stagnant. Why do we not see any improvement?

We fail to live our lives to the fullest; instead, for the most part of our lives, we merely exist to fulfill our desires.

Allow me to illustrate this mindset through a story.

Story

Once upon a time, there lived a security guard in a small town. He was employed by a rich man to guard his big beautiful house.

He has been employed on this job for the past 20 years since he dropped out of his school. Interestingly, his father, too, had been employed by the same employer to guard that house. After his father retired, he found himself employed to guard that house.

His primary duty is standing outside the gate and guarding the house from intruders and grazing animals from nearby fields. He verifies the identity of all guests entering and exiting the house, collects packages, and occasionally does simple errands. That is his sole responsibility: guarding the house during his shift hours.

So all his life, he has only witnessed and experienced the activities that go on inside his employer's house.

Nothing else.

His world revolved around the activities of his employer.

He lived with his wife and children in a small town. He had few friends. Because of his limited income, he has not travelled much outside the town. He did not purse any goals in life. Personally, he had no ambition in life.

But he harbors big dreams. Regularly, he purchases a lottery ticket with the hope that one day luck will be on his side.

That day finally arrived.

One fortunate day, the security guard won a massive jackpot in the Mega Millions lottery. Instantly, he became immensely popular in his town.

The reporters visited his home and began asking about his plans regarding his newfound fortune from the lottery.

Here is the interaction between the reporter and the security guard:

Reporter: What are you going to do with so much money?

The security guard takes a pause, and then contemplates what his wealthy employer possesses, and then responds,

Security Guard: I will purchase a big house.

Reporter: What are you going to do next?

Once again, the security guard reflects upon the possessions he has observed at his employer's estate, and then continues,

Security Guard: I will purchase a new car

This way, whenever the reporter asks, 'What next?' the security guard proceeds to list all the items he recalls from his employer's house, as well as recounting the experiences. Here are some of his responses.

Reporter: What are you going to do next?

Security Guard: I will build a big swimming pool.

Security Guard: I will buy lots of jewelry.

Security Guard: I will marry my daughter off to a rich groom.

Security Guard: I will go on world tour with my wife and family.

Security Guard: I will buy a big screen tv.

Finally, when the reporter asks, 'What next?' the security guard ponders for a considerable time. Then, with a twinkle in his eyes and a smile on his face, he proudly declares, "I will become the security guard of my own house."

Since the security guard has only experienced life by observing the lifestyle of his wealthy employer, his desires are limited to replicating what his employer enjoys. He does not consider other possibilities beyond what he has seen and experienced.

He lived in his own bubble.

The security guard does not know how his employer earns and manages his money, whether through business ventures or employment in a high-paying corporation.

He simply wishes to engage in the same activities as his affluent employer.

Story of our life

This also the story of our lives. This is how most of us go about doing our daily activities.

We too think and manage our life, just like that security guard.

Most of our time, we pursue goals and things in life, that are defined and most likely decided by the outside world. We pursue and seek fame, fortune, and acceptance, in the same manner as the rest of the world does.

This kind of thinking starts at an early age from school and at home. Then it progress in college, and ultimately at work and during our interactions with friends and families.

Our thinking gets moulded by the outside world.

And this is what we start doing:

- I need to create an account on Facebook or other social media, because all of my friends are on that platform too.

- I need to seek that profession, because most of my friends are also pursuing that and making lots of money.

I need to purchase that fancy phone (replace any brand here) because majority of my friends have that too and they seem to enjoy it.

I need to buy a 4 bedroom house soon, because most of my friends own 4 bedroom house or bigger house.

I too must busy a fancy car, because most of my friends drive fancy cars.

and …….. the list goes on.

We do not pause, think, and decide whether we really "need" those things.

More importantly, we never ask, "What do we really want in life?"

Our desires defined by outsiders

At present, we have essentially abandoned our true desires, opting instead to conform our desires to society's false expectations.

Our society or our friends are not directly forcing us to buy, or possess things that they own.

We have artificially created a feeling of lack in our mind. To satisfy that lack, we go around in circles to fulfill that desire. We concoct such expectations within our mind.

Truth is .... Desires are unending

We can never satisfy our desire that mind keeps generating. As soon as we satisfy one desire, soon enough, another desire arises.

Just like our appetite, as soon as we satisfy it with one meal, another appetite is waiting to be satisfied.

This is an unending saga. We can never satisfy our desires. This is how we stagnate our life in endless circles of pursuing unwanted things.

So you may be wondering, "Why do we pursue these things foolishly?"

To Live up to Society's Standards

Because we falsely assumed that if you possess all of the same material goodies that your friends or society has, you will be equal to them, or they will like you, or they will accept you.

We do things to keep up with the trends of the society. Our mind engages us to pursue things based on other people's standards.

Society has become our reference point, similar to the rich man being a reference point for the security guard.

That is why our thinking always emanates "from inside the box".

So, ....

How can we get out of our stagnant thinking?

How can we start thinking outside the box, and truly determine what we "need"?

What is the solution?

How to think outside the box

Although there are plenty of different ways one can practice to think outside the box, I have listed few practical ones here.

They are:

• Stop comparing with others

The world really does not care about our material possessions. Possessions can disappear or become obsolete over time. Very few people really care about your possessions and your relations. For the most part, the world only judges you as a human.

The world judges you with the qualities you possess, and how you carry yourself in life. If you have a great character, integrity, and honesty, then you are already ahead of others.

• Stop worrying about what others are thinking about you

People are not thinking about you at all. They have their own problems to worry about.

So stop wasting your time thinking about what others are thinking about you.

• Challenge your status quo

Sometime we have to be willing to challenge the traditions and explore alternative paths. We need to question the established norms and conventions.

We can see the world with a whole new perspective and this can open up whole new opportunities that we never saw before.

• Practice open-mindedness

Many a times we walk with biased opinion without even realizing it. This clouds our judgement and decision making abilities.

Try to approach situations with an open mind, suspending judgment and embracing different possibilities. Be receptive to new ideas and viewpoints.

• Focus only on yourself on what you want to do, or who you want to be

What do you want to achieve in life? What is your inner passion? Do you like to write children's storybook, adult fiction, write a poem, painting, rescue animals, be an engineer, or an actor, or a chef.

You can pursue one or more passions with heart's content throughout your lifetime. You may not get any recognition or become famous. That is "Ok". If you are happy with what you do, then that is all it matters.

Pick your passion

Pick your passion and pursue it.

While pursuing your passion, do not visualize that you will be famous or get recognition, or earn lots of money. This is where we make the mistake of setting expectations, and later on live with disappointment for not reaching those expectations.

Remember, "In life, expectations always leads to disappointment."

Pursue your passion to satisfy only yourself. No one else. Period.

Tomorrow, the world may like what you are doing and follow your passion. That may bring fame or wealth or both.

If you do get fame or wealth, think of this as a "surprise of your life" or a "side effect" of following your passion.

If you did not set any expectations while pursuing your passion, then any little fame or fortune that comes with it will always bring natural joy to you. Nothing can be more satisfying than that.

Looking back, you will wonder that whatever you did to pursue that passion that led to your achievements in life will be looked upon as 'thinking outside the box'.

In life, every artist, technologist, chef, housewife, teacher, and ordinary citizen is always pursuing goals to satisfy their desires. But instead of working with the expectations of somebody's reference, if you work with a natural passion, you can start thinking outside the box and do wonders in your own field.

You need not be a college dropout or live in a garage to think outside the box.

You can be a high school dropout or someone with a graduate degree. You can be living in a small house, a mansion, or in the mountains.

It does not matter.

Just follow your passion sincerely without any expectations from society. You will automatically start "thinking outside the box".

I hope you enjoyed this article.

Thank you for your time. If you have any questions or comments or even suggestions, please feel free to share them below.