Midnight Heroes

Summer 2023

Vocal platform headquarters. Pitch meeting. 3pm

I pull my collar to the side to let out the billowing steam from mounting nerves. I begin.

“Thank you all for seeing me today. My name is Lamar Wiggins A.K.A LDubs. Perhaps you've heard of me but that would be unlikely since this is my first pitch ever.”

I could see thought bubbles above the vocal curator's heads fill with plenty of Z Z Z Z Zs as my introduction didn't even excite me.

"Ok, if you will, please turn to page one. Thank you."

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Midnight Heroes

SYNOPSIS

Midnight Heroes is a sitcom set in present day, situated in The Big Apple. It follows the life of the satirical and controversial late night talk show host, Norah Nichols. (Think, Anna Ferris meets Rosie O'Donell meets Arrested Development) She landed the spot after being fired from WKTB radio station for being too outspoken. She now finds her way to TV and uses her illogical views in sometimes offensive, yet humorous guest interactions. Off camera, her slapstick and sarcastic personality is never devoid of witless humor. Overall, her projected impression leads one to believe that life isn't serious to her at all. She even finds inadvertent ways of insulting her own mother every time they interact, except on rare occasions where she just wants to vent to someone she loves and trusts. Norah is always the life of the party wherever she goes. But she does have a seldom seen softer side. It mostly comes out when she's alone, to reflect. This is when the viewer sees that she can be more grounded than she lets on. She ends each episode, at home, alone, stirring a cocktail with her finger and saying something profound to a Raggedy Anne doll that randomly pops up throughout the series. (This monologue will serve as the moral in most episodes.) But then, she belches and ruins the almost perfect moment.

Midnight Heroes is filled with on-the-spot gags, physical humor, absurd situations and wacky interactions. You will never guess what these characters will do next.

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Main Characters:

Norah Nichols- A 32-year-old ex-radio host turned tv personality. She's single and dismisses many attempts to court her. She hasn't found a guy yet that can handle the arduous task of being her boyfriend. She has a lot of twisted, yet humorous views on reality. Her levity is genuine, and she can't help offending people who want to make a so-called positive change in life. Norah's favorite guests are politicians. She lives for the chance to get inside their head and backs them into a corner almost every time.

Charlotte Nichols- 60. Norah's supportive, widower mother who also works part time running errands for Norah. She really wants grandchildren and is quick to point out her idea of a handsome man in hopes of getting Norah interested in dating, even though she doesn't know her type. Charlotte's nonchalant attitude towards life's idiosyncrasies is humorous in itself. She doesn't' fully understand her daughter and makes on-the-spot excuses for her behavior.

Marci O'Neil-32. Norah's best friend for life. She’s eventually invited on Norah's show as an occasional sidekick. She is the only one that Norah will seriously listen to for more than a minute. Their bond is apparent and is the only real relationship in the entire show. Luckily, Marci works for a law firm and gets Norah out of trouble on many occasions. Marci has a unique and annoying laugh that sometimes lingers way too long.

Vance Zimmerman- 49. One of the show's producers who is always commenting (negatively) on Norah's appearance, likening her fashion to cheap whorish attire. It never phases Norah, and she takes it as a compliment every time. Vance also has an inherent dislike for the word 'moist'; he's been known to fire people for the improper use of the word.

Debra-27. The head make-up artist. Debra is from humble beginnings. Her work is immaculate. She doesn't hold back her feelings and can usually get through to Norah when her logic goes off the deep end. They like each other but sometimes their relationship crosses boundaries and cultures clash - reminding each other where they come from. Debra has ADHD and is the only one who can make Norah belly laugh.

Ken Anthony - 41. The show's director. His forced laughter encourages Norah to go with the flow of her ideas. He's basically useless because she barely respects him and sometimes tears his gullible characterizations to pieces. He has a British accent and prefers everyone to pronounce his full name without the space when they address him.

Blake-45. is the owner of 'The Angry Inch' Gastropub that Norah frequents. He doesn't like her but pretends to. The customer is always right! Is his motto. He is the token brown noser and only says what he's really feeling to the staff, unless you say anything negative about the food that is... This is his only trigger and excuse for being rude. On the other hand, Norah loves him and his eccentric establishment. She has no Idea how he really feels about her.

Haskins- 70. The aging doorman to her high-rise apartment who always wants an autograph. Norah finds new ways every time to trick him into believing she already gave it to him. He is dumfounded each time but believes her, then forgets the next day.

Aside of all of these characters, the show is filled reoccurring characters (mostly staff and crew) and nightly guests, who aid in keeping the story lines alive and fresh. They range from quirky astronauts to drug addicted zookeepers and of course plenty of politicians. There will also be loads of fans, haters and testosterone-filled hopefuls trying to get a date with Norah.

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Pilot Episode: "This ain't Broadway.”

The intro to every episode begins with a quick camera tour through different rooms of the studio, like a pair of eyes searching for something specific. It will highlight the workings of behind-the-scenes action including a room where two people are making out. They slam the door shut when they notice the prying eyes. The door will already have a Do Not Disturb sign on it after it closes. Theme music continues to play as the camera finds Norah on stage being attended to by crew and staff. Including, polishing her toenails and aggrandizing her with an oversized feathered fan. As the camera gets closer to the stage, everyone begins to scatter, leaving Norah alone at her desk and smiling right into the camera. Her line is “Watch out folks, I’m coming to get ya!” the camera continues to get closer until she physically grabs it and plants a kiss right on the lens, leaving a red imprint of her lips on it. Off camera you hear, “Cut!” from the director. The intro Scene fades to black.

This ain’t Broadway!

The first scene starts in Norah's dressing room. We introduce Debra. She’s wearing pajamas and has rollers in her hair like she just woke up and didn’t bother to dress for work. They are playing connect 4 while working on Norah's makeup.

Debra

[applying makeup] Can you please be still for one second woman! You're gonna end up looking like the joker. And I'm not talking about the one in a deck of cards.

Norah

[grabs a hand mirror] Am I going to the prom? Darken this eyeshadow and lose the eyelashes. This isn't a first date!

Debra

Well, it kinda is... This is your first show, Norah. The world is about to see you, girl. Trust me. I know what I’m doing.

Stage boy sticks head in room

“Five minutes Miss Nichols.”

He’s smiling ear to ear, but quickly frowns and shuts the door just in time before a stiletto heeled shoe hits the closed door.

Norah

Debra, in your honest opinion, are people of the world ready for me?

Debra

[applying makeup] Of course they're not sweetie. But they are gonna get you whether they like it or not. You are what this world has been missing ever since Chaka Khan left the scene. You will go out there and represent women everywhere... Just not me! I'm one of a kind sugga! [Busts a quick dance move in place] I don't need no representation!

Debra grabs the mirror out of Norah's hand and begins admiring herself and blowing kisses to the mirror. Norah stands up (Cue soap opera music) and begins talking dramatically in a self-centered monologue while walking around the room. Debra is now using the mirror to dig something out of her teeth using an afro pick.

Norah

You're right Debra. Women want to be me... I can use this show to reach women around the world, to unite forces against the voices of evil. [Contemplation leads to epiphany] This might just work if I send out subliminal messages! Men are too stupid to pick up on them. [Norah quickly turns around to face Debra] How does that sound Debra. Would you follow me to the ends of the earth?

Debra is now frying chicken in a small deep fryer she has set up on the makeup counter.

Debra

Girrrrl, as long as they have KFC, I'll follow you anywhere!

Ken Anthony runs into the room in a rush and ruins the moment. Cue sound effect of record player needle being scratched across record. Soap opera music stops. He's breathing hard from exhaustion.

Ken Anthony

I forgot to tell you that your main guest [still panting] Nicholas Cage...he cancelled after hearing the joke you made about his last film.

Norah

WHAT!!! What did I say about him?

Ken Anthony

You said that Bart Simpson has more emotional depth.

Norah

[Laughs while slapping her knees, then quickly becomes serious again.] Well, tell him I'm sorry! Get him back!

Ken Anthony

It's not that easy. He's not coming. [bites finger and puts head down in shame.]

Norah

[Yanks a waxing pad off her chin, prompting an excruciating sound effect] Who does that leave us with?

Ken Anthony

We still have the Dobson twins juggling act.

Norah

Boring.

Ken Anthony

Then there's Anwar Gillespie, the ventriloquist.

Norah

Boorinnnng!

Ken Anthony

Don't forget about the charity spot with the girl scouts.

Debra

[Now Icing a 3-layer cake] Ooo ooo! I hope they bring some tag-a-longs.

Ken and Norah both look away from Debra and back at each other.

Norah

Who else?

Ken Anthony

The mayor of New York city and a comedian.

Norah

[Now excited] Yes! The Mayor... Perfect, I can still make this into great show... The mayor is now the main guest! Cut a check for five thousand dollars to the Girl Scouts, I won't have time to talk about cookies. Plus, they creep me out, like green midget soldiers on a mission to give me herpes, I mean cavities... Let's do this Ken!

Ken Anthony

It's KenAnthony!

Norah

Oh yeah, that's right, you have name issues. Whatever let's go!

Debra is now watching cartoons and laughing at the TV. Norah and Ken leave the boudoir. (Cue the song ‘I’m every woman’ by Chaka Khan.) As they walk to the stage, they pass some of the show's acts and random people, who all stop what they're doing to join in with Norah in a synchronized choreographed dance as she lip-synchs the song at the same time. It's just an exaggerated daydream of Norahs (Cue needle scratch sound effect when they run into Vance Zimmerman, the show's producer. Back to reality. Norah stops singing and dancing.)

Vance

Are you going to the prom? You look like a depressed Barbie doll who just found out she's not real.

Norah

aww, that’s the nicest thing anyone has said today. [They keep walking past him]

Norah is now situated at her desk on stage, where she will do the show from. Last minute stylists adjust her hair and straightens her desk, then scatter.

KenAnthony

Okay kiddies, where going live in three, two -

Norah

Wait wait wait wait wait! [She quickly grabs a bunch of tissues from a box sitting on the desk. She balls them up and stuffs them in her bra, adding extra perkiness to her bosom.] Okay, now I'm ready.

KenAnthony

[Still a little flustered from watching her increase her breast size.] In three... two... one... ROLL!

The show's band (The elderly version of the Harlem Globe Trotters dressed in gear) begins playing the theme music which is an instrumental chorus version of "All Night Long" by Lionell Ritchie. The cameramen capture rotating shots of the live audience, the band in action, Norah moving her shoulders back and forth to the music and a dirty security guard who's standing next to a pretty woman off stage. He is looking at a mirror on his shoe aimed under the woman's dress and is clapping to the beat like everyone else. She eventually catches on and slaps him. The camera stays on Norah as the crowd's cheers and applause subsides and the music stops

Norah

Thank you, thank you so much for being here everyone! Aren't' you excited! [A loud unanimous yes comes from the crowd] GOOD! Cause I am too. Like, uncomfortably excited, I might need a diaper change before this is over. [ The audience laughs] But that's okay, isn't it! We're gonna get through this together. This is a very special day for all of us folks. It’s the first ever Norah Nichol's Show! [Brief applause] Who names their kid, Norah? I'll tell you who. My awesome mom who's in the audience tonight. Let's get her handsome face on camera. [The camera finds Charlotte in the audience. She's knitting a sweater but takes time to wave at the camera. The audience claps for her, Norah smiles in a sentimental way.] I could really love that woman someday. Enough about me! Let's get into tonight's show, shall we. We have a great line-up but unfortunately Nicholas Cage won't be here. [a unanimous aww comes from the crowd] I know, I know. Apparently, he fell off the bus when he got off at the wrong stop in Queens. [concerned reaction from the audience.] He’s fine but will have to watch the show from a hospital bed. You hanging in there, Nick? [she waves to Nicolas Cage through the camera, then uses her fingers to pull down the sides of her mouth, creating a frown]

KenAnthony Flashes a cue card to Norah that the viewers can also see, it reads, Twenty seconds to commercial-

Norah

[Indignant] Twenty seconds huh… Is that how long you last these days? [One person in the audience laughs annoyingly. Norah knows who it is from the familiar sound of the laugh.] Aww! Marci’s here! [The camera finds Marci in the audience, Norah Yells] SEE YOU AFTER THE SHOW MARSE! Okay folks! We'll be right back. Apparently, there's pointless commercials during my show. Hang tight!

(Cue band...fade to commercial.)

The show goes on without a hitch, well, almost. This first episode's airing of the Norah Nichol's Show will be a visual montage while the theme song (Best Friend) from the Courtship of Eddy's father plays.

In no particular order we get to see the juggling act bring Norah to an adjacent stage to try and teach her how to juggle bowling balls which she flubs terribly and drops one on one of the twin's feet. He hops around on the stage in obvious pain. We see the comedian make everyone laugh except Norah. Her expression starts off smiling and slowly morphs into an appalled frown. The comedian is eventually hit in the head with a stiletto shoe that comes flying out of nowhere. We see a quick clip of angry girl scouts sitting in the audience. Some of them are pouting with their arms crossed. Debra is sitting between them, scarfing down cookies. We see Norah talking to the mayor who can’t seem to get a word in. She gets up from her seat and is clearly giving him a piece of her mind. He hunches back in his chair from her getting too close while jabbing her index finger toward his forehead. He slowly shrinks to the size of a toddler in the chair. She sits back down and pulls a bottle of scotch from under her desk and chugs a couple shots right on camera. She then pours some into a baby's bottle and hands it to the mayor. (Fade to white, song fades. Commercial break)

Overall, the producers are impressed with Norah and her uncanny ability to say the wrong things at the right time. She gets a standing ovation from the audience as she closes the show.

After the show. Norah meets up with her mom and friend, Marci.

[Int-The Angry Inch- 12:30 am]

Marci

[Pinching Norah's cheek, it clearly hurts] Look at you, Look at you... That was a great first show, Norah! I knew you could do it!

Norah

Well, I couldn't have done it without my two most favorite people in the world.

Norah goes in for a group hug. Her mom is ready to receive some love, but Norah reaches past her to hug Marci and a Raggedy Anne doll that's sitting in a highchair.

Norah

Oh, hey mom, when did you get here?

Her mom is annoyed and rolls her eyes.

Charlotte

You really need to watch your language on camera. I wasted three Xanax trying to cope!

Norah

Mom, It's okay. Everyone liked the show. Plus, I didn't say anything bad about you... did I? [Smiles] Oh, I guess I did mention the time when I caught you in your bedroom talking to a vibrating phallic object... Trust me, that was embarrassing for the both of us.

Charlotte

yeah…I wonder what ever happened to that thing. [Stares off into space]

Norah and Marci both look at each other like they know something about it. They quickly change the subject.

Marci

Uhhh, are you going to finish that? [She points to Charlotte’s half eaten sandwich]

Charlotte

Of course not, silly girl. [powdering her nose with a compact mirror] You know I waste food all the time.

Norah and Marci both grab for the sandwich. Norah is faster. She grabs it and sends potato chips flying to the floor. Blake, the owner sees this and storms off to grab a broom. He's smiling with his eyes raised and makes a weird high-pitched sound with his mouth instead of saying something rude.

Norah

[yells to the owner] IT'S ALRIGHT, BLAKE. THEY'RE STILL GOOD, SEE! [She grabs a handful from the floor and shoves them in her mouth. She then stands up]

Ladies, it's getting late, I'll see you chicks tomorrow. I've got a date with my couch.

They all hug goodbye. Norah and Marci are chatting as they leave the table. Charlotte is stuck paying the bill as usual. Quick fade to Norah arriving at her high-rise apartment. Haskins, the doorman opens the car door for her.

Haskins

[always wears an oversized name tag] Good evening, Miss Nichols. Do you think I can have that autograph today? [he leaves his mouth open, and head cocked to the side so his good ear can hear her answer.]

Norah- Ahh, Hasky. Don't you remember, I tied it in a knot and stuffed it in your pocket? Check again, It's in there somewhere.

Haskins frantically starts emptying his blue uniform jacket pockets. Unusual items like condoms and brass knuckles fall out them. Norah continues into the building.

She is now in relaxation mode, on the couch, wearing a pink bath robe and stirring a cocktail with her finger. She begins talking to the Raggedy Anne doll who's sitting in a recliner.

Norah

That was a pretty busy day, Annie. Did you see me up there, with all those bright lights and more bright lights. And... what else happened? Oh, it doesn't' matter. What matters is, I think I finally found my calling. People are people. No matter how tall and thin or loud and obnoxious they are, it all comes back to one thing... we need to be there for each other. [She belches] Good night, Annie! [She clicks the TV off and immediately begins a deep snore that sounds like a bear. Fade to black, roll credits.]

The end:

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A Love Tank Production

-LDUBS