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A Parted Puddle

Lemonade, Religion, and Mary Jane

By VNessa ErlenePublished 6 months ago Updated 6 months ago 3 min read
A Parted Puddle
Photo by manish panghal on Unsplash

Imagine if you will a series about a 54 year old woman and her 24 year old daughter sitting outside, traveling the US and visiting family and friends all while high or smoking weed. The mom has several autoimmune diseases, more degrees than she will ever use or pay for and works full time in the public school system. She has become disenfranchised about life in general. She is still old fashioned enough to never want anyone to find out she gets high due to chronic pain. What she doesn't know is that most people already know and could care less.

The daughter has twins, a boyfriend and works full time. She loves her mom but they are not always friends. Her mom thinks that she may be Gordon Ramsey's clone. When the mom is stoned she sometimes thinks her daughter is Gordon Ramsey disguised as a 24 year old woman. Gordan can do this easily and uses the same process that android phones use to lisen to your conversations and then put the exact items you were talking about on your Facebook Feed.

The series will detail the mom's epiphanies and the daughters munchie induced cooking sprees. The kicker to the entire series is that it was actually pitched while the mom was so stoned that she had to retype each word multiple times. The final epiphany was coming to her senses and realizing you don't spell Gordon with a J, HOWEVER it still makes a word that is a name! .... man am I stoned!

Season 1 Pilot:

It's 5pm on a sunny, windy Arizona day, and I'm outside on the porch with my bestie getting baked.

By Robin Jonathan Deutsch on Unsplash

All of a sudden, I spill my full glass of lemonade! I watch slowly as the lemonade speeds to the right and then makes a 45-degree turn towards the steps and front yard.

By Francesca Hotchin on Unsplash

My brain said this, "OMG, it's the Red Sea going to find all the Israelites and Moses ants so they can part the sea and return to my promised land only to bite my toes!" This was so funny to me as my brain revealed the truth about the lemonade spill.

By Shardar Tarikul Islam on Unsplash

After about five minutes, I came to my senses! How did I spill the lemonade? In a very analytical fashion, I deduced that I had my lemonade, bong, lighter, and phone that I was using all simultaneously in my hands!!!!

By Marco Bianchetti on Unsplash

Holy Shit!

Then I immediately came to my senses (again) and realized that no average person could hold that many things at once, so what REALLY happened?

By Dollar Gill on Unsplash

After about two minutes that lasted for ten minutes, I realized that I had slipped through the space-time continuum through an etheric field.

By Triana Nana on Unsplash

This is accomplished by a process that would be like I was lying on a water bed, and as I sunk down, I actually slipped through the massless goo of I'm stoned!

New Episodes nightly with the occasional five episodes a day. The series will not be fiction, however it will not be based on the lives of the woman writing this and her daughter due to her neurotic obsession's with keeping her dope smoking (and growing) a secret.

The series has potential for a spin off movie based on the fact that the woman writing this pitch, who is not the person it's actually about, is in all actuality the forever reincarnated subconscious of the Annunaki God Enki. The woman has done empirical research on this fact for the last five years while simultaneously working on her Ph.D. in cognitive psychology.

P.S. If this happens to turn into a reality please inform the woman writing as she will forgot what she has written as soon as she vacates the laptop!


About the Creator

VNessa Erlene

A Ph.D. student and Celtic Priestess who is an explorer of knowledge, spirituality, and political incorrectness. Your voice and knowledge is your power!

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