When I was in college, Faiham was the best-looking boy we had in our entire college.
He was my classmate and one of my best friends at that time. His skin was fair , hair silky , face cute, and above all, he was a good student. Even his handwriting was so good that we envied him all the time.
But guess what!! He had no girlfriends!
If you are wondering, he was not gay, yet no girls were romantically attracted to him. At least, we didn't know any in those college years. Rather, we saw that all the girls in our class were glued to the backbenchers.
Girls were always fascinated by the things the backbenchers did - coming to the class late, showing aggressiveness, not following rules, having long hair, tattoos, smoking, restlessness, and so on.
Believe it or not - one of my backbencher friends used to keep a sharp knife with him all the time and very often got involved in fights with other students like him over many issues.
And yes, girls were attracted to him too.
As I always sat on the third bench and was not cute like Faiham, or aggressive like the backbenchers, I had no chance.
But, seriously! Why do women get attracted to bad boys in particular? What are the reasons?
Let's see what science says about this!
Do Women Think Smoking and Drinking as Sexually Compelling?
A study conducted by Eveline Vincke of Ghent University in Belgium in 2016 explored the possibility between short-term mating strategy and the use of physically risky behaviors of male youngsters.
Can you guess what they found?
Yes, the findings confirm that it's true, and it also reveals that women consider physically harmful activities, especially smoking and drinking, as sexually compelling.
Who doesn't know that smoking and drinking are detrimental to health? But women simply don't care! They are attracted to people who ruin their own health with tons of bad habits. How weird is that, right??
Bad Boys Exhibit Attractiveness, Confidence, and Can-do Attitude
One of the major reasons why women are particularly attracted to bad boys is they show confidence.
Women just love self-confidence in men.
Bad boys are also sportive, adventurous, and up for something new and risky. Moreover, they don't care about what other people think of them.
Bad boys always love to ignore the rules and do what they want to do - no matter how risky it gets. I guess this damn-care attitude makes them so attractive in the eyes of women.
Another interesting fact is the link between dangerous behavior and masculinity is historic as society still thinks aggressiveness and dominance are attributes of a real man.
That's why when it comes to dating, confident, damn-care, narcissistic bad boys are many steps ahead of the so-called nice guys.
Women Feel Secure Around Bad Boys
Isn't it obvious?
When you are dating a bad guy, you have nothing to fear. A bad guy is certainly the best bodyguard who can make you feel free and secure. Why? Because they will take any risk to protect you in any situation.
An article on Vice echoes the same, "Risk-taking becomes just another way for men to demonstrate their power, and women are told to admire that."
Again, the bad boys - in most cases - are physically fit and attractive. That's why women with insecure feelings wish to be around those guys.
Now tell me - when you feel insecure, will you choose any skinny, good-grades, goggles guy as your protector?
Of course, not.
Psychologist Forrest Talley, Ph.D. says, "They(women) desire to have someone in their life who is tough enough to face the world and punch back when necessary,"
Well, I am not saying all women want a bodyguard around them 24/7. But when they choose a dating partner, they certainly prefer guys who show physical attractiveness and damn-care, rough-and-tough, risk-taking attitudes.
And who possesses all those than a bad boy?
A study titled "Physical Attractiveness and the "Nice Guy Paradox": Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?" suggests that physical attractiveness is a crucial factor in terms of desirability for more casual, sexual relationships. But interestingly, niceness is the most salient factor when it comes to a serious relationship.
No Pressure of being "Good Girls"
Author of the book Smart Girls in the 21st Century: Understanding Talented Girls and Women, Robyn McKay, says - "Girls possess a range of traits, like rebelliousness. These traits are typically repressed during childhood, as females are socialized to be compliant and agreeable. If a girl's inner life is unexpressed, she may be drawn to a bad boy as a way of vicariously expressing her own inner rebel."
It makes sense, right?
It's the thing that most women struggle with all their lives as society wants them to be 'good girls.' Bad boys set these women free from the pressure of being so-called 'good girls'. They don't care about good girls. On the contrary, they like the ones who are not good in the eye of society.
However, women always admire the sense of freedom bad boys have and offer. And they can express their true self (ignoring the pressure of society) when they are with them. So, no wonder - why women are drawn to the bad guys.
An Insider article suggests, "Hormones are a driving force into why women get attracted to certain types of men, especially, bad boys." It also says that women are more interested in alpha males during ovulation.
Moreover, author Martie Haselton, Ph.D., told Insider, "There's a suite of sexually attractive qualities that women prefer more during their fertile days."
I hope you can see that so many things come into play when a woman falls for a bad boy. And you know, sometimes women say that they just want to turn the bad ones into good ones with their love and company. But never believe this - because it's total bullshit and never works.
Dr. Melancon says, "Converting a bad boy is a generally impossible situation. If a woman were to succeed in changing him, he would no longer be the bad boy she finds so irresistible."
Now, I believe you've got the idea why my good-looking friend Faiham failed to attract beautiful girls when some badass backbenchers got all the attention with almost no effort.
*Originally published on Medium (link)