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When you want to confront a leader because of aggression, see what happens to them first.

Make the big things small and the small things small

By Clemmens CroftonPublished about a year ago 8 min read
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When you want to confront a leader because of aggression, see what happens to them first.
Photo by bady abbas on Unsplash

There are times when our leaders make some unreasonable demands, such as asking for overtime on weekends, asking to accompany customers to dinner, etc. At this time I believe that most people will have the urge to beat people in their hearts, and if they can't suppress their inner urge, many people will have the urge to dislike people, but in most cases, after disliking them, they will either be criticized or leave the company.

The small, uneducated boss

In a small company, on Friday, the small boss, Richard Hu, said in the group: "Tomorrow is a day off, the weekend is normal.

Then Hu Kai said: "We will work on weekends.

Employee A asked: "I realize that I will work on Saturday and have Sunday off, right?

A stressed again: tomorrow is Saturday

Hu Kai felt offended: Can't you read words?

The big boss saw that there was a contradiction, so he came out and replied: No need to work tomorrow, the day after tomorrow is normal

In fact, by this point, the conversation had ended, but employee A was not convinced, and there was a continuing conversation, the final result being that the small boss said: you don't have to come in.

Originally put up with it, the past thing, but A feels aggrieved to find the field, the result is the loss of work, do you think it is worth it?

The most bullish secretary Rebecca

On the evening of April 7, 2006, Loke Soon Choo, the president of EMC (the world's largest network information storage company, headquartered in the United States) Greater China, went back to his office to get something. His secretary, Rebecca, was already off duty at the time. Loke Soon Choo tried unsuccessfully to contact Rebecca. After a few hours, Rudd could not contain his anger and sent Rebecca a harsh and hard-hitting 'letter of reprimand' via the internal email system at 1.13 am. In the email, written in English, Lu said, "Rebecca, I just told you not to assume or take things for granted on Tuesday and you locked me out of my office this evening With immediate effect, you do not leave the office until you have checked with all the managers. With immediate effect, you do not leave the office until you have checked with all the managers you support - this is for the lunch hour as well as at end of the day, OK?"

Office space

Rebecca, I told you not to take things for granted when you think and do things! As a result, you locked me out this evening and everything I needed to pick up is still in the office. The problem is that you think you have my keys with you. From now on, you will not leave the office until you have checked with every manager you work with, whether at lunchtime or the end of the day, understood? --The tone of the email was very, very strong.

When Lu sent this email, he also passed it on to several executives in the company.

Two days later, Rebecca replied in an email saying: "First of all, I did the right thing by locking the door for security reasons, and I can't be held responsible if something is lost. Secondly, you have a key, you forgot it and you are saying that someone else is wrong. The main reason for this is you, don't transfer your mistakes to others. Thirdly, you have no right to interfere with and control my time. I work 8 hours a day, please remember that the time between noon and the end of the day is my time. Fourthly, from my first day at EMC until now, I have done my job to the best of my ability and I have worked many overtime shifts without any complaints, but if you ask me to work overtime for something other than work, I cannot do it. Fifthly, although we are subordinate, please pay attention to the tone of your voice. Sixthly, I would like to stress here that I am not guessing or assuming anything because I do not have the time or the need to do so."

The aggressive reply was surprising enough, but Rebecca chose to go even further. She wrote back to "EMC (Beijing), EMC (Chengdu), EMC (Guangzhou), EMC (Shanghai)". In this way, everyone in EMC China received the email.

As a result of this incident, the consequence was that Lu Chunchu fired Rebecca.

This was not all, after this incident, Rebecca was unable to find a stable job in the following years, mainly because her famous reply made the next company wary of its not knowing when it would embarrass someone.

Do people think it's worth it for such an act of relief?

Takeaway 1: Non-principled issues, tolerate them if you can

In Chinese history, the most famous admonisher is none other than Wei Zheng. But have you ever noticed that although Wei Zheng spent his whole life advising Li Shimin, he never did so to his death?

In 630 A.D., Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty sent his general Li Jing on an expedition to the north of the desert, and after the victory, Jie Li Khan was willing to lead more than 100,000 Hu people to surrender to the Tang Dynasty.

As the old saying goes, a man can bend and stretch. Han Xin tells us that only by enduring the humiliation of the crotch can we have a chance of success. For us in the workplace, a moment of aggression, as long as it is not a matter of principle, can endure.

Let's look at one of the more successful cases of dealing with aggression in the workplace.

Once in the company's business analysis meeting, the boss responsible for marketing complained: your human resources recruiting a sales assistant how so long, but still not recruited?

The chairman heard, immediately said: human resources recruitment, you have to manage or be complained about, the end of the year bonus to be deducted ha!

HR manager Wang did not reply directly, but only said: Mr. Luo, I'm sorry, this piece we have not done the right place, after the meeting, I will do a review with you face to face, must speed up the process, to ensure that not delay your side of the work.

The actual situation is that the recruiter has pushed more than 20 resumes to the sales management department, but also interviewed five people, but the sales management department has been feeling that they can still find better, the results of the front had been talking about the basic good people, but also have other offers do not come, but these words if spoken in person at the meeting, will only make the relationship between the two more rigid, so Manager Wang chose a more appropriate way to deal with way: private communication.

If said face to face at the meeting, HR may be able to reason on the advantage, but in the emotional points, but lost some points.

Insight 2: Make big things small, make small things small

In the workplace, the most taboo is to start a direct conflict with superiors.

If a conflict with a superior rises to the level of assault, then dismissal is inevitable.

There is a classic case.

Xiao Zhang is a salesperson working in Shenzhen, with his hometown in Guizhou.

Xiao Zhang's family has been in trouble recently, his father died shortly after a car accident and his grandparents also died shortly afterward due to the blow of the white hair. As the backbone of sales, successive leaves of absence, so that the sales supervisor pressure multiplied, to the third bereavement leave, the supervisor could not tense, directly said: your family is dead, right?

Xiao Zhang instantly rose and wrestled with the supervisor.

Xiao Zhang was subsequently dismissed.

Xiao Zhang applied for labor arbitration, and after 5 months of waiting, he also got his compensation, but after 5 months of waiting, Xiao Zhang felt physically and mentally exhausted.

If time could be turned back, I believe Xiao Zhang would have chosen a more appropriate approach, such as complaining to the next level of leadership, applying for a change of department, etc., and would not have resorted to assault again.

In the workplace, there will inevitably be aggression, work is not smooth, and colleagues do not cooperate with the situation, if we choose too hard, maybe in the workplace to win a "straightforward" title, but behind this title, maybe the consequences of future work difficult to progress.

If we take a big thing to make up for a small thing to deal with, although at the time we will not be relieved and uncomfortable in the heart, think about the other side will understand, stand on the other side to consider, our ideas are sometimes only one side of the story.

Finally, I hope we can all reap the benefits of engagement, gain, and achievement in the workplace, and become confident and elegant workplace people!

advicefeaturehow tohumanity
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About the Creator

Clemmens Crofton

An eye for an eye thought for an obsession.

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