What to do when they play with your feelings: 10 recommendations

Sometimes we begin to trust someone unconditionally , and let them know sides of our personality that are not available to everyone... and we think that the feeling is mutual.

When we realize that the other person did not really show himself as he really is and did not trust us in the same way, a sense of frustration invades us. We realized that our expectations were not met and we feel betrayed.

So... what to do when they play with your feelings? In this article we will talk about this, we will see how to prevent the feeling of discomfort from taking over us and we will review useful tips to deal with this situation and prevent it from happening again.

What to do when they play with your feelings (in the couple or friendship)

When we are aware that we have given more than we should in a relationship and we do not receive what we expected from the other person, or worse, we discover that that special person for us cheated on us in some way. That's when frustration sets in.

To answer the question of what to do when they play with your feelings, let's see what are the tools with which we can face this situation.

1. Understand that it is a situation that does not depend on you

You do not have control over the other person, the decisions that the other has made are solely your responsibility and that does not have to affect your emotional stability.

Although it is hard, you must realize that in the same way that you could not avoid the other person not taking you into account, you are not guilty of the actions of others .

2. Remember that you gave your best

Once we have understood that we have no control over the thoughts and actions of other people, it is good to remember that our behavior was worthy of a good friend or a good partner.

Do not feel bad about it, on the contrary, focus on the fact that you have the ability to provide others with such a relationship , and that this is something that will accompany you wherever you go.

3. Avoid catastrophic thinking

In this situation that means not thinking that all people are the same, avoiding generalizing . Otherwise we could fall into social withdrawal, and that situation is never good for our emotional health.

The ideal is to take some time and then give yourself the opportunity to meet new people, always offering confidence and being open to trusting them too. Just because you were betrayed doesn't mean it has to happen again.

4. Strengthen autonomy

The more responsible we are for ourselves, for our emotions and feelings, the easier it will be for us to recover from a betrayal . Depending on another to be well is unhealthy and generates emotional dependence.

The most ideal thing is that we can be calm and happy, even when we do not have company. If we learn to take advantage of our loneliness and enjoy it, then we can create better social relationships .

5. Know how to create expectations

This does not mean that we do not expect anything from others, it means that we must better evaluate the expectations that we place on others, and that we ask ourselves to what extent these are achievable or not.

This way it will be less likely that someone will defraud us , and we will be avoiding future frustrations.

6. Not dedicating all our time to one person

Although we really like being with someone, and we would like to see them all the time, this behavior is not healthy for the relationship. We all need our space to develop in personal areas , which may not be of interest to that special person.

You can have other friendly relationships with which you feel comfortable in certain spaces. For example, gym friends, or friends with whom you play sports.

7. Work in different areas of our lives

Focusing all our energy on social relationships will make us limit ourselves in other aspects that are just as important for our personal satisfaction. For example, focus on the academic and work area.

This will make us achieve personal goals that we can enjoy both alone and in company, and we will be less likely to fall into emotional dependency .

8. Practice expressiveness

When we feel that we have been betrayed, talking about it greatly alleviates the discomfort. Telling your experience to other friends relieves you of an emotional weight that you carry on your back, and you can also get valuable advice to help you move forward.

9. Know how to close cycles

This consists of being able to end the stages of your life in an assertive and healthy way for all parties involved.

When you are able to realize that some people are no longer good for your life, you need to put an end to that story. No grudges, saying goodbye with your head held high and moving on .

10. Go to therapy

Attending therapy can help you put into practice all the tools you need to progress and get out of that uncomfortable situation in which you find yourself. You don't have to have hit rock bottom to go to therapy; in fact, you can do it preventively when you think you need it.

With regard to love relationships , the work carried out by psychologists through psychotherapy helps us to close the cycle of grief caused by frustration and hopelessness. The fact that someone with whom we have been in love plays with our feelings not only leads to an evident degradation of that affective bond; In addition, it makes us feel like tools used by someone who we thought would have a central role in our lives.

Realizing this means saying goodbye both to the idealized version of that person we have loved, and to that future together that we imagine. And the work of overcoming this mourning is something that psychotherapists do in a specialized way, since it is part of the most common problems with regard to personal relationships that are psychologically damaging.

But that kind of pain is also present when a friend has played with our emotions . Saying goodbye to such a friendship and having to re-enact moments spent together is often hard. Also this process of reinterpretation of memory is something that is done in psychological therapy.