What is love?

I possess a profound fondness for a multitude of things. Certain individuals may harbor an inclination towards sunshine and rainbows, while others may derive pleasure from the warmth of summer and the chill of winter. There are those who savor the aroma of hot coffee in the morning and the comfort of their bed at night, and some who revel in traveling and embarking on daring escapades. According to the dictionary, love is a complex amalgamation of emotions, behaviors, and beliefs that are associated with intense feelings of affection, protectiveness, warmth, and respect for a person, object, or even an idea. However, can love truly be defined? How can we elucidate a term that can be used to describe one's sentiments towards anything from people to cars to abstract concepts?

To gain a comprehensive understanding of love, it is imperative to examine the ancient Greeks' perspective. Rather than using a single, all-encompassing term, the ancient Greeks employed seven distinct words to describe love in its various forms. Eros, which denotes passionate love, is the most prevalent type of love in contemporary society. It is driven by a desire for pleasure and often manifests as love at first sight, where one is immediately drawn to another's physical appearance, even without knowing their name. Most romantic relationships begin in this manner, and while it is passionate and can even be somewhat obsessive, it is also perplexing. The age-old question of love versus lust arises, as both emotions are accompanied by intense physical attraction and a strong desire to be close to the person, even if they are a stranger.

Certain individuals distinguish between the emotions of lust and eros based on the duration of their presence. If the emotion is fleeting, it is considered lust, but if it persists, like the best man at a wedding, it is undoubtedly love. However, is this truly the case? If lust simply transforms into love after a certain period, how long does it take for the transition to occur? At what point does lust become love?

The inquiry at hand is of a complex nature and is not typically given much consideration. Therefore, I shall provide an explanation based on scientific and human biological principles. According to these principles, falling in love occurs in three stages, beginning with stage one, which is lust. This stage is driven by testosterone in men and estrogen in women. The transition from lust to love occurs in stage two, where a sense of euphoria is experienced upon seeing, speaking to, or even thinking about the object of affection. This feeling is similar to the sensation induced by drugs or alcohol and is caused by the release of dopamine, which induces happiness and excitement, adrenaline, which triggers the fight or flight response, and norepinephrine, which keeps us alert. Falling in love feels like an addictive rush, akin to driving at 120 miles per hour with no brakes in one's car, resulting in sweaty palms, weak knees, and a racing heart. Love is not always initiated by lust, but can also begin with friendship, where one knows the other person well enough to predict their reaction to any given situation. Love is characterized by intimacy, authenticity, kindness, warmth, and encouragement. It is akin to the best friend one has known since childhood, always wanting the best for the other person, and exhibiting selfless goodwill. In today's world, the concept of philia, or camaraderie, is dying, with millions of followers and subscribers, but very few friends. Love is characterized by loyalty, sacrifice, and vulnerability, and is a choice. Love is not always serious or permanent, and can be fleeting, as in the case of ludus, which is built on infatuation, flirtation, and fun. Sometimes, love is simply having a crush on someone and acting on it, going out for drinks with a friend and acting like a romantic couple for the night, or random kids pushing each other on swings in the playground, basking in the joy of their friends' company. Love can be casual, exciting, and fun, without any obligations or implications. Physical attraction or friendship is not a prerequisite for love, as love simply is. While commitment, time, mutual trust, and acceptance are often considered essential components of love between two people, this is not always the case, as evidenced by the love between a mother and her child, which is characterized by unconditional familial love, or storage. This type of love exists only between family members, but family need not be defined by blood ties. Lifelong friends who become family, adopted children, and step-parents can all be considered family. Storage is a strange type of love, where the desire to protect someone exists even when they may not be the nicest people to be around. It is a sense of security, akin to a weighted blanket, and is characterized by the ability to give someone a kidney without hesitation, but not one's phone charger, even though the latter is easily replaceable. This type of love is not limited to people, but can also be exhibited towards sports teams and fans. Love is unconditional, not dependent on who the person is or what they can give to you, and is a one-way ticket, where one loves someone even when they may not have the ability to reciprocate that love.

Aristotle posited that all friendly emotions towards others are an extension of a person's emotions towards oneself. It is impossible to truly love others if one does not love oneself. This is why the concept of self-love, or "falaudia," should not be taken for granted. Love is not solely about what one can do for others, but also about what one can do for oneself. Therefore, it is important to treat oneself occasionally, without the need for any specific achievement or milestone. Just as one does not require any specific reason to love others, one should not require any specific reason to love oneself. Love is when one can stop comparing oneself to others, forgive oneself for past mistakes, and refrain from judging oneself for things beyond one's control. Love is when one wakes up in the morning, looks in the mirror, and feels proud of the person staring back. Love is leaving toxic relationships and choosing oneself over and over again, protecting oneself as one would protect anyone else. Love is being kind to oneself in one's thoughts, words, and actions. Only when one truly loves oneself can one love others.

Love is a commitment that lasts a lifetime. It involves accepting each other's differences, learning to compromise, and being compassionate. Love is about putting all the broken pieces back together instead of throwing them away. It is rooted in romantic feelings and compassion. Is love a feeling or a choice? It is both. Falling in love is a feeling, but staying in love is a decision. It involves telling one's partner that they are loved even on the worst days, being vulnerable, and holding the roses without fear of getting pricked by its thorns. Love is an amazing feeling in the beginning, but for it to last a lifetime, it must evolve into a commitment of never letting go.

Love is not just about romantic relationships. It involves giving to charity, helping strangers in need, and having empathy towards humanity. Love is fighting for change even when one is not directly affected by the issues. It is selflessly caring for humans, animals, and the environment. Love does not expect anything in return for its actions; love itself is the reward. Love serves as the foundation for societies and communities, without which we cannot thrive.

Scientists have debated the concept of love, with some believing it to be a basic human emotion, while others believe it to be a cultural phenomenon. However, the fact that love exists in all cultures suggests that there is something innate and biological about its experience. The purpose of love remains unknown, but its importance cannot be overstated. The longest study on happiness has shown that the happiest people are those surrounded by love from spouses, children, grandchildren, friends, and religious organizations and communities.

Loneliness is the antithesis of love. It involves not having someone to share one's innermost thoughts and feelings with, constantly filtering one's thoughts through the lenses of politeness and political correctness, and not being seen or heard. Love is crucial to human existence, and yet, we often prioritize other things over it. It is time to make love the center of our lives and stop searching for it, as it will find us.

The veracity of the matter is that love does not always present itself, and at times, one must actively seek it out. To those who are in pursuit of love, I implore you to heed the words of Plato's Symposium. In this dialogue, Aristophanes, the playwright, expounds upon the concept of love, which many of us who are in search of it initially perceive. According to Aristophanes, in the beginning, humans were androgynous, possessing double the number of body parts we currently have, including two faces that were turned in opposite directions. This physical form endowed humans with such immense power that they became a threat to the gods. Consequently, Zeus divided them in half, creating one male and one female. Since then, every human has yearned to be reunited with their other half, like two pieces of a puzzle or two halves of a whole. Although this is merely a myth, it provides insight into why we love the way we do. We often fall in love with individuals who we believe will complete us, those who fit together with the pieces of our heart's puzzle, those who complement our shortcomings and give us hope for the things we are most insecure about. We live with the hope of being completed, and we all have a deep-rooted need to flourish. However, the truth is that we are already complete, and we are the two parts of a whole. Therefore, when people advise us to stop searching for love, we should not interpret it as a message to stop trying. Instead, we should view it as a lesson to stop seeking completion in another person. Ultimately, only when we genuinely love ourselves and comprehend the weight that this carries can we love others in the way they deserve. It all begins and ends with us.