Toxic Feminism: How it’s Hurting Men and Women

If you’re seriously interested in real journalism, conversation, and growth (and you’ve been paying attention, and understand that you do not have to sit down and talk to every person you agree with – in fact you shouldn’t because it’s not how you grow and learn,) you obviously see that there’s a shift in our society in the attitudes of women today towards men.

Why does it seem that third-wave feminists are the angriest people, obsessed with hating and blaming men for everything? I understand that there are times where a woman's anger can be used effectively, and sometimes it's needed to get things done... but we can't be out here just being angry haters all the time. What purpose does this really serve? I believe that type of anger comes from a deeper rooted place -- it's when our roles are reversed and we try to do everything on our own, because we've masculinized our women and feminized our men. Now we have to work, take care of ourselves and our families, basically we feel like we have to do it all. When we think about toxic feminism, we usually think about examples like women bullying other women for their lifestyle choices, playing the victim card, or demonstrating "selective feminism" where they only empower other women when it fits their belief system.

There’s another side of toxic feminism I want to surface, and what brought it on was a new trend on social media. It started with women calling themselves “soft girls”, indicating and portraying themselves as being tired of being boss babes and girl bosses. So, basically just rediscovering what it means to be a woman. I, for one, simply want to stay at home and thrive in my God-given femininity, but when I say this, I’m talking about maintaining responsibilities in the household, not just simply doing nothing all day. Being a stay at home mom and a homemaker is still work, women just don’t get paid for it.

It looks like the tides have turned lately because it appears that the girl bosses are not so much loving girl- bossing anymore! A video I came across on YouTube had a girl saying “I don’t want to hustle, I’m burn out and tired, I don’t want to climb no corporate ladder, I simply want to live my life slowly and lay down in a bed of moss with my lover and enjoy my life – reading books, making art, loving myself and those around me.” AMEN, SIS. I felt that in my soul. However, here’s the thing – in my opinion, living this laissez-faire lifestyle is not fulfilling for me because it only serves MYSELF. In this me-monster era we’re living in, we’re all about self care, self love, protecting our energy, (whatever that actually means) and other delusional pseudo-power phrases that only give way to a life of emptiness in the long run. It’s not sustainable to live only for ourselves, and that’s not how humans were made to be. Our society has functioned properly for many years because there was a time when men and women thrived in their God-given roles.

It never meant that one sex was better than the other. It worked because we were complementary to each other.

Nowadays it seems that everything is flipped on its head into a total mess. Women wanting to be men, men wanting to be women… women wanting to dominate and having trouble finding a man who has the values they want, (they’re actually seeking men with traditional values but either don’t want to admit that, or still haven’t made the connection) and then you have these good traditional men who are scared to even approach a woman, because she’s a self-righteous and toxic feminist who displays an attitude of hatred towards men. I said what I said! What a lose/lose situation we’ve created.

Remember earlier in this article I said that feminists are angry people? I truly believe that it is the drastic switch of our feminine and masculine roles that stirs up this anger and resentment. Weak men make angry wives.

Married or not, when a woman feels the burden of having to do it all, she can become an angry feminist. There’s a shift in the relationship dynamic because women have basically told men that they are useless trash that society doesn’t need. Yes, I’ve literally heard some women say this. (Could you imagine a man in 2024 saying this? Women would be furious! So the double-standard is strong here.) We live in a matriarchy, let’s be real. Women are surpassing men in many ways, and the workforce is another clear example of this.

Now, to a certain degree, it’s the feminists’ own fault for pushing this current work culture for women. A few women had pushed so hard for ALL women to be career focused and boss babes which resulted in pushing all women to become this out of necessity. It didn’t matter if women sought this for themselves or not, because daddy government saw an opportunity in this. There were increased incomes to be taxed and babies got to be raised by the government via the school system. This created the incentive for the government to fully get behind the feminist revolution as well.

This might be a hot take, (as if this whole article isn’t one) but I think women should aspire to be stay at home moms and/or wives. Society needs mothers, and society needs stronger men preaching about what real masculinity is. Whatever your opinion on them may be, you have to admit that this is why we have so many men, especially young men, looking to guys like Joe Rogan, Andrew Tate, and Jordan Peterson just to name a few. Our young men have no direction and are looking for some voice of bold masculinity, since women are telling them that there’s literally no place for them in society and that they’re not needed. To that I say look around you – I bet most if not all of the infrastructure in your city was built by MEN. We should be encouraging our men to be the best they can be. Yes, we need men!

Any toxic new-wave feminist that says women can do everything a man can do – great! Why aren’t you doing it then? No one is stopping women from going out and getting a job in construction, for example. But guess what? It’s not that men or the "evil patriarchy" are stopping women from having these types of jobs, it’s the women who are simply not even going for these types of jobs. I’m so tired of hearing this talk of “Women are the future!"(No, a family is the future) and "Women can do anything a man can do!” Really? Go for it then.

I don't want to compete against a man - not in the workforce, not in sports, not against other women who want to be just like a man, and in some cases, believe they are literally no different than one. I know men have certain advantages, but so do women. We need to rediscover where our strengths are. If we only learned to rise up into our true feminine strength and traits, I believe we'd be a lot happier and way more fulfilled in our lives. Why would we strive for unattainable and unrealistic goals that were not designed with us in mind in the first place?

There is also nothing wrong with showing gratitude and respect for the great men that work hard to keep our society functioning, and keep us safe. We all know that bad men exist in the world of course, but so do bad women. Bad men are created, not born, and the cause is toxic feminism.

What toxic feminism does is it simultaneously teaches women to detest masculine traits in men, but cultivate them in themselves. So for example, a man who cheats is trash, but a woman who cheats is a “bad bitch.”

Or a man that sexualizes women is misogynistic but a woman who sells her nudes online is “empowered.” Or a man who can’t take rejection from a woman is dangerous, but a woman who gets turned down by a man when she makes sexual advances towards him after he says no, clearly disrespecting his boundaries, is somehow weak and it’s “his loss.” It’s not ok when a man does it so it's not ok when a woman does it - and it's just gross behavior. The biggest problem with today’s new wave feminism is that it makes women reject their feminine traits. There are good men who are struggling to find love, but it might be because this generation of women is not what they want. Under toxic new wave feminism, women seem empowered but are in fact, powerless.

The media and Hollywood like to say that feminists are so powerful and happy, but so many of them are actually the most miserable people I have ever met. They deny themselves so much. I believe that a true matriarch who knows her role and thrives in the power of that role is something to aspire to. I’m reminded by the William Ross Wallace poem that says “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”

When you live in accordance with reality, you will succeed more, and you will be more of yourself - if you fall into the lie of feminism (act like a man and in some cases look more like a man) you start acting out of accordance with reality. You might be temporarily happy, but the feeling won’t last. We need to stop rejecting the things that make us women so special and unique. We need to own our superpowers. When we lean into this, we also allow our good men to stand up and become the strong leaders we need them to be in society. Modern feminism has killed the spirit of men and women. We’ve turned away from our true purposes, leading to ultimate destruction mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

I had mentioned that women should aspire to be stay-at-home moms or wives, and I understand it’s so much harder to be a stay-at-home wife or a stay at home mom than it was in the ' 50s. (I also understand that not every woman aspires to this goal, or resonates with anything I've written. That's ok too -- remember that being exposed to opinions different than your own promotes growth and opens up the space for a conversation; a true democracy.) Our culture and the economy has shifted dramatically and now families can barely afford to do that anymore. This is now the exception and a privilege, not the standard. I will say that younger generations like Gen Z have become so self-aware that they finally might be realizing the ramifications of the kind of society we’re living in – women have been acting masculine for so long now that their response is to desperately want to lean back into their femininity. Many of us women have no dreams of being promoted up a corporate ladder, or founding our own company. We’re in touch with our feminine energy, and I'm sorry to burst your bubble but it's new wave feminism that did this and it's the government destroying the nuclear family that did this.

To tie this back to the “soft girl” trend I recently learned about, rediscovering our true femininity is to radically reject the idea of being a girl boss. This achievement was ideal during the tech boom of the late 2000s and 2010s, when women who strove to be girl bosses went to bed late and got up early to sweat it out at a soul cycle, and they idolized female business leaders like Sheryl Sandberg and Marissa Mayer, who famously worked from her hospital bed after she delivered twins, which is actually insane.

I am cringing with some of these examples and many more. As I mentioned earlier, I think this “soft girl” trend misses the fact that in order to be a stay-at-home mom or a stay-at-home wife, you do have to learn how to keep a home in order to organize your family's life and take care of someone other than yourself. More selflessness, less selfishness. You do have to work on yourself first though, so that you can become the type of woman that a traditional man will want to support.

Speaking out against toxic feminism should be all of us against this postmodern feminist revolution, and the government whose economic decisions keep us chained to our desks at companies who give egg freezing as a perk because they're so nervous to lose women and they don't want women to go home and become mothers. This has literally become the norm if you look at many big tech companies, they offer complimentary egg freezing to their female employees. (It’s seriously creepy and twisted and weird.)

It’s this feminine urge to tell other women that we’ve been lied to. The truth is that hustle culture has been designed for the 24-hour male cycle not the 28 plus day female rhythm, which is why we feel so burnt out and exhausted. I want to remind women that they're not broken for not thriving in a world that wasn't made with them in mind.

Some people think that equality of the sexes means that men and women are exactly the same and should be treated as such. Men and women are different, and that’s not a bad thing. Our differences become our strengths. We need each other because as I mentioned before, we compliment each other, and it just works.

My words are not to vilify any woman that strives to further her career, but understand that you may be the exception and not the rule. When I was in my 20s, my jobs were my priorities. In the end, it mostly gave me burnout, depression, and bad habits. Now in my 30s, my priorities have changed, because I realized that a job will never give me true fulfillment, but finding a purpose that’s more in line with my biology, creating a life that will outlive me in a sense, seems to be the most beautiful. I’m talking about creating a family with my significant other, which to me is the only thing that holds any real importance in this world. Also, no one has ever looked back on their life and said, “I wish I worked more.”

Toxic new wave feminism not only hurts our great men, but it hurts our amazing women too.

We’re telling women that they should aim to push away the things that make them wonderfully unique – our feminine and naturally softer, nurturing side. There is strength and beauty and power in everything a woman is, and new wave feminism says you should reject these things and basically become the type of toxic men you hate.

It’s much overdue that we stand up and speak out against this. Men need us women just as we need them. Men don’t need a woman who acts like a man and tries to compete with them, that’s what they have other men for. Let’s rediscover the truth and switch up the “soft girl” trend into simply just us women leaning into our womanhood. Knowing who we are and finding strength in that identity is not anti-feminist – in fact, it might just be the truest version of feminism out there. ~