The Shocking Truth of Cheating
What you thought you knew
A few days ago I was hanging out with two guys and because I've always had this relentless curiosity surrounding the way people act and why they do some of the things we deem in this day and age as normal or acceptable. Besides this I also like to think of myself as a woman that has insight for most female scenarios and even some male standpoints. So there we were sitting in the car and I started the first conversation while the other guy was sleeping. We were discussing his current relationship at the time and he had told me he and his girlfriend had been together for about 5 months and he was expressing the problems they had. For instance, I was told their current problem was because she was accepting money from other guys. Now having seen this type of behavior before, I wasn't shocked; plenty of women and men take advantage of people financially so I gave him a hypothetical.
I asked him if there was a girl that wanted to talk to him or spend time with him in spite of his current relationship but you wanted to be faithful. Then I said what if she says you can just be friends and hang out and you're like ok that's fine. Then she started inviting you to go out to eat or catch a movie just harmless outings. Then she starts just giving you presents for no apparent reason other than just cause. You're not cheating and she's not benefiting from any of this and then she says, "If you ever need anything or any money just let me know." Well alright then, free money is always nice and out of nowhere she just starts giving you money. I asked him now think are you going to accept that money of course he said yes I said ok that's exactly what she's doing.
Then I got a little more Dr. Phil-ly and asked him if they had problems before this. He said about 3 months in he cheated on her and she took him back. Now this is interesting I asked him two questions one if he loved or felt like he loved her and two was he surprised when she took him back and he said yes to both. So then I asked what if she cheated on you and he replied, "Oh it's over then." I honestly couldn't believe my ears and I said but you said you love her and she may have taken you back for the same reason because she had faith in what you both had. He then replied, "Cheating is wrong." But I retorted so then why do you get to do it. He said, "She didn't have to take me back."
OK well that was crazy he fell asleep and the other person woke up unaware of the conversation and I asked him if he had ever cheated or been cheated. He replied that he had cheated but didn't know if he had been cheated on. So I asked him if he had ever been taken back after cheating and if they "loved" each other and he said yes. So then I asked him what if she cheated on you and I got the exact same answer. So now I'm just in utter disbelief that a hypocrisy of this magnitude can be so common knowledge to some but apparently new and alien to me. So of course I have to tell my boyfriend when I come home because I was just in such shock and awe but before leaving I told them that for the simple fact that you can be unfaithful to someone you claim to love and still be given a pardon, but can't take a dose of your own medicine simply because you can't handle it. I said that is just incredibly sad how dare you have the audacity to break someone and not allow them to reciprocate that pain and that hurt so you can feel how they felt. I told them I had been cheated on before and I have cheated twice in my whole life and I know from experience how much that hurts. But for you to say it's wrong after you've already committed and first I might add is insane, if this were a court case first offense or not you wouldn't get a second chance you'd get a sentence.
So I get home and I tell my boyfriend and then asked him would you take me back if I cheated on you and he said no too. So it seems that women have a much higher tolerance for putting up with intolerable behavior and actions out of love, faith, and true concern for what they've been building with someone and aren't as easily swayed to give up. It takes a lot to forgive and take someone back because the trust is broken and out of that brokenness people search for mending in other places and other people. But it's never the victim's fault they are simply giving a reasonable reaction to your selfish actions. On a real note, be thankful for those that deal with your difficulties and insecurities because all they want to do is be happy with you and if you can't be satisfied with that type of selfless compassion you're better off alone where you can only hurt yourself.👏🏾✌🏾