"Sweetie...

“Come bounce with me!” by Barbara Sandiford

At the tender age of 30, I was at a point when I thought there were no good men; without going into too much detail or to accuse the male gender of being worse than a dog, would be pointless and still untrue. By then I had been menopausal for six years, one of the youngest in Britain at the time. My son was ten years old, coming to terms with the fact that he will not have brothers and sisters from his mother’s womb.

There was this young man rehearsing in my neighbourhood, as I was living in Barbados at the time; the home of my parents. This boy, uh hum, young man; was very interested in dating me, but I felt he was too young firstly and secondly would definitely want children. He accepted and respected my wishes and settled for a ‘hello’ every time we met. I found that being menopausal from 24 years old, with no preparation I might add; played havoc in finding ‘Mr. Right’! Surprised? Don’t be. I had never dated anyone younger than myself before and I wasn’t about to start now!

Every possible ‘Mr. Right,’ no matter what age over 30 years old; turned out to be ‘Mr. Wrong’ for one reason or another. The main reason was because they wanted children, whether they had plenty of their own or none at all; they still wanted my child! Sigh! Two years of celibacy, with the occasional squeeze in between; I was beginning to accept that I would not meet my twin flame in this lifetime.

The year was now 2003, January 21st, a Bank holiday in Barbados. I was at a karaoke, that was held on a beach and anyone that knows me knows that I love to sing. I chose the song I was going to sing, the music starts, I picked up the mike and unbeknown to the audience or the karaoke DJ; I was going through an electric shock… a hair standing on end, electric shock! I was told at a later date by a lawyer, that I should never sing karaoke barefoot again, because the mike is LIVE 1,800W LIVE and the DJ should have observed that before giving me the microphone.

During this frozen moment for the audience, I… my spirit had travelled… extremely fast until I felt the sensation of being on a ship… a spaceship; it was weird. Was I dead? I asked myself. The people on the spaceship, who were me… about fifteen different versions of me, were seated in a circle; watching TV screens.

I looked at my own TV screen in front of me and watched the movie of my life, up until the point of the electric shock. Inquisitively, I got up and glided over to look at the other TV screens; each one showing me, in a similar, but different life. One life I had eleven children, one life with triplets, a few lives with no children, one life as an orphan, a few lives, where I had already died, but one life in particular, stood out. I heard another me say

“OK, warp speed; let’s go!”

I remember saying “What? Go where? I haven’t met him yet?”

I was pointing at the screen that was showing a version of my life, that I didn’t know. It was my wedding day; the groom’s face looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t quite work out why. We were very much in love and the groom was singing to me.

The other me said “That is you, in another dimension and time! You missed two major opportunities, in this dimension and time”.

“Well I know I wont Rest In Peace, without having that experience in this dimension and time!” I replied, I should say squealed.

The last thing I heard my other self say before leaving the ship was “You will feel a sharp slap on your back; remember to open your hands!”

There I was, staring at the microphone on the floor. The DJ shouted with a Bajan accent “You drop my expensive mike ‘pon de floor for true? Youse an idiot?” When I explained what happened, he immediately called for someone to come to my assistance. Wow, I was shaken, baffled, yet intrigued for many months. I was wondering, ‘when had I met my husband to be, twice before?’ Then I stop thinking about it. The experience had opened my heart to new insights and healing. In early December 2004, I was invited to a live band at a club on the street that never sleeps. I wasn’t in the mood for going out, mum had agreed to babysit; but I just wasn’t up for it. My friend begged me to come, said she had put my name on the guest list and wanted my opinion; because she had not long started to manage the band; so I went. I walked in and who do I see? The young man that used to rehearse in my neighbourhood three years ago! Our eyes locked, he said something to the drummer and then states to the audience that he is dedicating the next song to me.

Then he began to sing “Sweetie” by John Holt

“There’s a girl living in my neighbourhood...”

He sang the whole song without taking his eyes off me. I stood there mesmerised (at the end of the song, I rushed quickly to the back with my nobody believes I am, ‘shy’ self). I realised that he was not as young as I thought, he had really matured in three years. The sound of his voice was angelic; very familiar. When I met him three years ago, I knew he was a singer; just finished his English degree. I had never heard him sing though and I still felt he was too young, at the time. Yet something had changed, he was different; no longer boyish and his voice aroused me, no singer, in general, had ever achieved that before!

Later, after the show, he invited me for a drink at the bar, we then went on the beach and talked for the rest of the night. I will mention here that being the millennial that he still is; was quite perturbed about my ‘celibate until married clause’ I was going through. Although this only lasted one month after he gave me an ultimatum. That night he told me why he dedicated the song to me; it was because he had wanted me to share his world, for a long time! Share his world from when he laid his eyes on me at a poetry reading in 1998; I was on vacation. He was 17, I was 27; HELL TO THE NO! I hadn’t realised that 2001 was the second time he was laying eyes on me. Having found out that he was ten years my junior and that he didn’t want children; he was over the moon that I would consider dating him. We went on our first date on the 18th of December 2004 and the 18th of December 2020 will be our 11th wedding anniversary.

Now imagine if I hadn’t gone to the club that night? I would never have known how he felt, for all those years! I wouldn’t have heard him sing “Sweetie” and I certainly wouldn’t have paid any attention if he had not hit my G-spot, with his beautiful voice!

Copyrightedtobarbarasandifordfeb2020