Prompt #3

HOW DOES THE PERFECT DAY LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?

So, I asked my husband this question. His response, like most times, was as simplistic as it could be. His answer, "I would wake up". There was nothing else to discuss. He isn't a man who uses a lot of words. Well- I take that back. He is very opinionated on matters that are important to him. He has a lot of opinions on health & fitness, politics, current events, weather reports,and....lawn care. I can tell you a few things, 1. sticks are my nemesis 2. if I am ever asked to pull a weed- you will be cussed out. I am just stating facts and truth surrounding my life. If you enjoy outside lawn maintenance, I will give you my address and you and my husband can pick up the sticks and chop down trees to your hearts content. There is over 5 acres, knock yourself out. Well, seriously do not take that literally, the 'knocking yourself out' part. You know what I meant. And if you don't....grow up *in the nicest way that can possibly be said*.

When I think about it really, my husband and I couldn't be anymore different. I say that- but if I think too hard about it, we really do not have much in common. He is OCD is several factions of his day to day life. I live life on the messy and chaotic side which gets me in trouble more than I care to admit. He has a routine. I have, 'well last I knew it was right here'. Truthfully, if you were to ask me how many times I have lost the following : car keys, house keys, debit/credit card- you would be disgusted. He is a penny pincher. Listen, if our account falls below a certain amount, he's having a full blown heart attack. My thought on finances, you can't take it with you when you croak, so might as well spend it. Not that I am ever putting my family at risk of not being able to live. But, if you want something within a certain budgeted range- YOLO. I get it honestly from my father. He always had to have the best. Champagne taste and whatnot. I think its hereditary. My husband thinks it is careless. Whatever you believe- that is not my business. He is baffled that I work in a financial position. I get frustrated that he isn't a little more leniant in spending. It is a touchy subject in our household. So poll- who is right?

Circling back to the discussion and away from topics that cause disagreements..... I have this mindset that doesn't allow me to just simply answer a question. This mindset is called *anxiety*. I analyze it until I have it so picked apart that I generally can't even answer because it just doesn't sound the away that I want it to sound. Or I find myself changing my mind every 30 seconds.

A perfect day.

For work- The perfect day would look like all transactions going smoothly, customers being kind, and the office enjoying each others company, laughing until we cried. Being told I was making a difference and not feeling like I was drowning in my fears and thoughts. The day would start with a coffee and a breakfast sandwich and it would end at 4PM feeling as though I accomplished the impossible. The day would be balanced in hard work and happiness. It would be something that happens once in a blue moon but it would be perfect.

At home- The perfect day would look like....My husband letting me sleep in until my body decides to wake up naturally and him not complain about the time I get up. He would reach over and just cuddle with me for a few moments- just us and nothing else. We would both make breakfast together. He would tell me that I look beautiful even though my hair would be in a mess and he would dance with me in the kitchen. Finn would be in there laughing and dancing with us. We would all discuss what we wanted to do for that day and no matter what we all said, we would do it. For dinner, we would all decide together what we would get and while eating dinner we all would watch a show or movie that we agreed on. Afterwards, we would get dessert and sit out in our designated chairs, wrapped in a jacket or blanket, with our own drinks in hand, by the fire in the backyard, watching the fireflies light up the fields and the stars speckle the night sky. We would talk about our favorite moments in the day and how it made us feel. And as we talked, we felt intimately connected to each other. Safe and secure in our little family triangle. That could be the perfect day. Or it could be something similar to it. Honestly, when it comes to the 3 of us- it's not always perfect and it's not always my favorite. What I know though, is those 2 boys have my heart and I love them more than anything in this world. And when I think about my life and the past, present, and future- I wouldn't want any part of it to be without those two.

So will I have my perfect days? Probably not. The way that my life is setup....it generally doesn't allow for perfect.

Would I like to have perfect days that look like what I described- well duh, I am a dreamer- not a lunatic.

I could say, that as long as I have my friends and family, I am set for perfection. But, I know I would be lying. LIAR ALERT. What I will say is this. Instead of setting my expectations beyond something that won't happen, I will find moments in my days that could count as close to perfect. And I think that is a realistic expectation. I also think that my therapist would say that is a healthy boundary set for myself. Also, a coping technique for when my anxiety and depression literally try to choke the daylights out of me and tell me my life is pathetic. This will help to bring my ass back to reality. *Mental health matters. Find healthy ways to get the help you deserve.*

A perfect day and what that looks like. It could be a million different things for a million different people. I guess, I just want to find a million perfect moments in my days.

When you think of your perfect day, what does that look like to you? I would love to hear your response in the comment section below.

Thank you for following along on this weird little journey.