No Dilemma

I am the only woman in the world who hates to be fixed up on a date? Does it just seem wrong to you? Is it necessary? Heading into 2024 I can't believe that I am writing this yet here I am well into middle aged (yepper) and re-stating the obvious.

The two times in my life where I was fixed up with a date, well, the first time the man was not suited for me, long story short. The second time I didn't talk to my friend for two weeks, enough said. The third time led to disaster.

I am the type of person who hates surprises. I'm extremely independent. I know how I look, I know my mind and I know what spiritual power means. I know my goals because I set them carefully.

One sure fire way to get told off is to say, "yes, yes, girl, but I know better for you..." You don't. Besides for whatever placating idea just how is it better? No one knows better for a person than they themselves. Especially for a person who had a former career helping people figure that out.

How did get I this way? What does independence mean to you? This is how was raised...as an authentic GenXer, though my parents were conventional and somewhat conservative, we were practically breast fed on every 60s-70s anthem there was. From Women's Rights (Womens Lib), Free Spirit Movement, Vegetarianism, Animal Rights, Rights for Disabled (the elimination of institutions) - you name it and there was a movement and an anthem for it. By 12 years old, I had watched so many documentaries on Woodstock and every other stock or rock festival that I felt like I was actually there. All of those social strides would repeat themselves in the 90s. I don't know what happened to them all now, they're like whispering winds.

So, amidst all that social reasoning us Catholic girls were taught in schools by Nuns, who I greatly admire. I never met a more peaceful, nurturing, natural, intelligent, spiritual and strong group of women. Most of all, they were independent women who could articulate anything. They brought tradition to the 21st century and showed what values were like by example. They were also unconventional in a way. That fit us with artistic spirits well. My mother's depth of feeling and compassion, my father's depth of thinking and resolve, along with my depth of daydreaming allowed a great view of social consciousness and independent spirit. What's wrong with that. It's ok to be single is what I am saying.

I met my life partner and twin flame at 24 years old and we were practically inseparable for 13 years until that last year of his life, then he passed away far too young at 37 of a heart attack. I later became celibate for spiritual reasons, I've mentioned this before but will again, I lived a nine year personal sabbatical on meditation and prayer daily and loved it. I am not a mouse I could meet a man to get married if I wanted to but its not my priority. I'm a Writer now, always an Artist and forever a Spiritualist, have huge goals and work very hard at what I do.

I have been just friends with lots of men over my lifetime. Have met new ones and chatted with some over the recent year. Some I will always adore and there may always be some I have mad crushes on but at some point I always stop and listen to my heart, and since it was enlightened by God what comes to me is - what is more important? My work is. It will make waves for the future. There is no ego in leaving an impression if it can help a person on their forever journey. Then I am re-centered in what matters.

I have yet to meet a man anyways that doesn't mind my wanting to paint or write for three days or two weeks at a time.

The other point I am making is don't try to fix me up with anyone. I prefer for life to unfold naturally. If I meet someone along the way then it is intended. If a person forces something into a box it is going to try and get out, or split at the seams trying.

That the bitchy side of independence thoughts of the day. Have a good one and walk in peace.

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