My Ex Boyfriend Won't Return My Belongings (Why Won't My Ex Boyfriend Return My Stuff)

A breakup is not a finality that you have to live with. If you feel that you would like to get back with your ex you need to know if he still loves you. Here are some of the indicators that suggest that he still loves you.

He won't return your belongings

Perhaps you used to spend a lot of your time at your ex's house and they haven't returned your stuff yet. Or perhaps they have returned most of your stuff except various items- this is yet another sign they want you back because they may feel that giving you all your stuff may risk losing you forever. At least you're seeing them regularly to get your items.

He comes back in a new look

After your break up he disappeared from your sight. And now he has made quite an appearance. Believe it or not he is doing all this because he is still in love with you and hopes that the distance, the new look etc will all help you to take him back.

He stays in touch with your family and friends

Even though he makes no effort to communicate with you, you get all the information regarding him from your family and friends. If he is in touch with your close ones that is only because he wants you to hear all the good stuff about you without him having to stalk you.

He appears out of nowhere

Gradually you will find your boyfriend making an appearance at the unlikeliest of places. If he hated theatre and you loved it don't be surprised to find him attending one act which you are bound to attend. When he starts making these appearances then you should know that he still loves you.

He tells you he wants to be friends

He takes up the opportunity and tells you that though he had a great time with you were right now all he wants is just to be friends. This is his way of decreasing the sourness between the two of you and working on a new relationship. And he does this only because he still loves you.

He starts spending time with you

You will also notice that he will start spending more time with you doing things that you like to do. You will also notice that the changes in him are in line with the complaints that you had.

He accepts his mistakes

Eventually he will make an effort and talk about the past. He will bring up the past issues that you had and will take ownership and responsibility of his actions. You will also notice that he will be willing to take the blame for the things that he wasn't responsible for. If he does this then he is still in love with you.

He talks about the 'good times'

If he then starts talking of the good times that you spent together and takes you down memory lane then he still loves you.

Get Back Together With Your Ex: The Jellybean Effect

A very effective way to get back together with ex boyfriends is what I call "The Jellybean Effect". It's human nature to want something we think is rare, sought after, and hard to get. Think iPod. People literally line up for their chance to get the latest version, right? Now, imagine this. Your friend offers you a jar of jellybeans and says, "take any kind you want, but don't touch the red ones!" Suddenly you don't give a damn about the other colors. You want the red ones, right? See, it's all about perception.

So what you want to do is have your ex see you as a "red jelly bean". Create the perception in your ex's mind that you're special and not easily obtained. If he starts to see you as more attractive and popular than he'd imagined, while also believing he can't have you anymore, this is going to create desire in you ex's mind. Or at the very least he may begin to question whether he should have let you go.

If you turn desperate or depressed or follow your ex around begging to get back together, you do just the opposite. You send the message that you have low personal value and low self esteem, and no one else wants you. So why on earth would your ex want you either?

People don't get back together with ex lovers who they perceive as having no value. They get back together because something in their perception about their ex changes in a positive way. Their ex's "perceived value" goes up in their minds, enough so that they're willing to give it another go.

I created this kind of attraction with my very first ex boyfriend by acting relaxed and happy after he broke up with me. He came back from summer break to see that I had lots of new friends and a busy social life. I didn't seem the least bit affected by losing him, in fact my life was way more exciting than before. I was looking good and feeling a surge of new confidence, laughing and smiling a lot, and paying NO attention to him!

The more he saw this the more he regretted breaking up. He thought he'd come back to school to find a sad, lonely basket case. But instead HE was the one who seemed kinda lonely and pathetic while I had become the red jelly bean.

Granted, my ex had been kind of a jerk. So when he broke things off I really WAS pretty happy. But I never would have ended it myself. I really thought I needed him and would be lost without a boyfriend. Because we were already apart when I got his breakup letter (no internet or cell phones in those days!) there was a built-in period of "no contact". That forced me to change my routines. I HAD to find things to do without him and find other people to spend my time with. And it worked like a charm.

If your breakup has been really hard on you and you miss your ex terribly this is not going to be easy to do. You may feel like your whole world is crumbling. Those feelings are natural, and you have to work your way through them. But avoid doing it publicly. Cry with your family and closest friends, but don't let your ex see you fall apart.

And in the meanwhile, change up your routines. Avoid activities and places that remind of him. Put away pictures, hide email addresses, block Facebook accounts that feature you ex. Stay away until you can show him a brand new shiny you who can carry on without him. It will take time and it may not feel so great at first, but I can assure you it will happen.

Become the red jelly bean, and let your ex wonder how he could have let such a rare and special person get away!

Pay Close Attention Here-

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