Love After Baby If You Are Single
For single mothers or mothers who want to be single.
How do you feel? You must be tired, cranky, covered in baby puke and other things. Those things don't help a relationship, but they are perfectly normal. So if you are single already or want out of your relationship, here are the things you should know and what people probably won't tell you.
You Are Attractive Even If You Don't Feel It
Who can feel attractive with a post pregnancy body, sagging boobs etc.? (Other than the elusive super mums) it takes time to feel attractive again, your hormones are going crazy, your body has changed completely and your mental state probably isn't great thanks to sleep deprivation.
Guys Still Find You Attractive
In fact men (not silly boys, actual men) prefer women physically after they have had a child, because your hips look more appealing, you look more like a good mating partner, you have been proven fertile and a good mother so primally they are drawn to you as a reproductive partner, a future mother to their children and wife.
People Will Judge You
Mainly because you are apparently ONLY ever supposed to think and be with the baby, you can not have dinner out for a few hours while the baby is with family because people always have criticism and with children, you will find it is impossible to do everything right in everyone's eyes. Don't listen to them. YOU MATTER TOO. You can't be a perfect mum if you don't look after yourself as well. Your mental health matters.
It Will Be Hard and It May Not Work Out But That Is Okay
Relationships are hard work! Especially when you add a baby! So it may be difficult and you may not make the distance. Always a hazard even without a baby.
You Are Going to Be Okay
As long as you remember that you matter and try to improve for you (never improve for a man... unless they are very rich).
If He Is Abusive to You, How Will He Handle the Baby As It Grows?
If you are stuck in an abusive relationship the best thing for you and the baby (the little creature you would die and kill for) is to leave. It is always worth remembering that if he is abusive to you he will probably be abusive to your child. Do you want to put your baby through that? Call a friend, a relative, a professional if you have to and get out of there.
Don't Forget Yourself
You will need to have some time to yourself every now and again especially if you are a young mother still discovering yourself, your emotional wellbeing is so important! Don't be afraid to get help if you need it. No one will judge you.
Be Careful Who You Have Around Your Baby
Because your baby is attaching until it is roughly two years old, it is imperative to try and not introduce someone new on a regular basis who you are unsure will stay around and definitely don't introduce someone who you are uncertain is safe to be around your baby.
Sometimes the Best Thing For Baby Is For You to Break Up With Your Partner
I am definitely not telling you how to live your life, I am merely informing you of things myself and other mother's have learned. I am letting you know that you don't have to be single or stuck in a relationship that is slowly killing you or is damaging to the baby. If it is damaging to yours or your baby's mental or physical health the best thing you can do is dissolve the possibly toxic situation and remember how things can affect baby, even at a few months old it is damaging for a baby to witness an argument.
I hope at least a part of this helps you because these are the lessons I learned mainly alone.