God Is Not a Misogynist

If you think God is a misogynist, I have some unfortunate news.

You may not actually be worshipping God.

You may be worshipping yourself.

Somewhere along the way, certain men looked up at the heavens, imagined an enormous male deity floating above the clouds, and apparently concluded that because they possessed a penis, God must be fundamentally on their side in every argument involving one.

Convenient.

But Scripture says something rather different.

“So God created mankind in his own image… male and female he created them.” — Genesis 1:27.

Male and female.

Both bear the image.

That means God is not exclusively reflected in the masculine body, masculine experience, masculine authority, or masculine ego. Women are not spiritual accessories. They are not inferior prototypes. They are not property with ovaries.

They are image-bearers.

And if your interpretation of God consistently results in you feeling superior to half the human population, perhaps you have confused divine authority with your own insecurity.

God does not condone the degradation of women because you found a Bible verse you can twist into a weapon.

Abuse is not headship.

Control is not love.

Manipulation is not leadership.

And misogyny is not holiness.

Christ himself repeatedly elevated women in a world determined to diminish them. Women travelled with him. Women supported his ministry. He spoke publicly with women when social convention said he should not. Women were the first witnesses to the resurrection.

That is rather inconvenient for anyone attempting to build a theology around female inferiority.

Then there is the matter of creation itself.

Women create human life inside their bodies.

They possess a uterus: an organ capable of growing another human being. During pregnancy, the body creates an entirely new temporary organ—the placenta—to sustain that life.

They bleed.

They nourish.

They labour.

They transform.

But listen carefully: a woman’s worth does not begin when she gives birth.

Whether she bears children or never bears a single child, her body is still a living, cycling, creative vessel. Her reproductive system still moves through its rhythms. Her body still carries the biological capacity for nurture and creation.

Motherhood is not the admission price for womanhood.

And because her body belongs to her, she—not you, not society, not your theology—is responsible for deciding whether she will bear children.

A woman who never becomes a mother is not a defective version of a woman who does.

She is not less.

She does not owe anyone a child to prove her femininity, her usefulness, or her humanity.

And somehow we are still having arguments about whether women deserve dignity.

Christ said, “Love one another as I have loved you.” — John 13:34.

Not: love one another unless she annoys you.

Not: cherish your wife unless she disagrees with you.

Not: dominate the vulnerable because you have greater physical strength.

Love.

The husband is instructed to love his wife “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” — Ephesians 5:25.

That is sacrifice.

Not domination.

Protection.

Not possession.

Devotion.

Not violence.

A man who abuses, humiliates, terrorizes, manipulates, lies to, exploits, or degrades a woman is not acting in the image of Christ.

He is acting against it. There is a word for that: antichrist.

And here is where the hypocrisy becomes almost absurd.

God alone is capable of perfect, unconditional love.

The door is always open.

You can crawl back to God shattered, ashamed, weeping, broken by the weight of what you have done. You can finally stop lying. Stop performing. Stop defending yourself. Stop blaming everyone else.

You can fall to your knees and say: I was wrong.

And God will receive you.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.” — 1 John 1:9.

The father in the story of the prodigal son sees his broken child returning from a distance and runs toward him. — Luke 15:20.

That is grace.

But grace is not permission to continue destroying people.

Repentance means turning around.

It means change.

It means truth.

And herein lies one of the most spectacular contradictions in misogyny: some men who consider women inferior simultaneously demand unconditional love from them.

They want the woman to be endlessly patient.

Endlessly forgiving.

Endlessly nurturing.

They want her to absorb betrayal, rage, humiliation, neglect, and violence—and then make dinner, soothe their wounded ego, restore their confidence, and reassure them that they are still lovable.

They demand that she perform unconditional love while denying her equality.

They want her to behave like God while insisting she is beneath them.

The confusion is abundant.

If she forgives you after you hurt her, suddenly she is expected to embody divine grace.

If she refuses to tolerate your abuse, suddenly she is selfish, cold, bitter, difficult, or failing in her duty as a woman.

So which is it?

Is she inferior?

Or is she apparently responsible for carrying the emotional and spiritual labour of your entire existence?

You cannot swing your fist at a woman’s head and then expect her to spend the evening proving how unconditionally loving she is.

That is spiritual and emotional extortion.

And no woman is God.

She is not required to forgive you on your preferred timeline.

She is not required to remain accessible to you while you continue harming her.

She is not required to sacrifice her safety so that you can avoid the consequences of your behaviour.

You can always go to God.

That door is open.

But you do not get to demand that a human woman stand in for Him.

And here is the part you may want to think about, son:

the God you are attacking may be the very thing inside her telling her to leave you.

When she finally stands up and says, “No more. Stop. I don’t like this. This isn’t right. Get your hands off me,” that voice is not weakness.

That is conscience.

That is dignity.

That is the divine image refusing to be desecrated.

There is something in her that knows she was not created to be your punching bag, your servant, your emotional dumping ground, or the sacrificial altar upon which you lay your ungoverned rage.

And perhaps that is precisely what enrages you.

Because she is reminding you that you are being witnessed.

God sees you.

You are not invisible simply because you have frightened her into silence.

You are not righteous simply because you found a verse to justify yourself.

And you cannot destroy the divine image in another person without confronting what you are doing to the divine image within yourself.

God may forgive you.

But you cannot outsource your repentance to the woman you harmed.

The God within you must turn you around.

The God-given conscience within you must say: Enough.

Meanwhile, the God-given conscience within her may be saying something entirely different:

Get out.

Lock the door.

Call the police.

Protect yourself.

Protect your children.

Protect your home, your livelihood, your art, your body, your life.

That is not rebellion against God.

Sometimes that is obedience to God.

We are instructed to follow God.

Not a raging lunatic.

You can invert reality all day long and call it theology. You can gather in groups and collectively confirm the same delusion. You can build institutions around it, preach it from pulpits, legislate it, normalize it, and congratulate one another for your righteousness.

Calling cruelty “God’s design” does not make cruelty divine.

God is not standing above the clouds with a celestial penis, snickering while little boys harm his daughters.

The God I recognize dignifies them.

Cherishes them.

Commands that the vulnerable be protected.

And perhaps the most exhausting part of this entire conversation is the competition itself.

Who is better?

Men or women?

What a spectacular waste of incarnation.

You arrived in a particular vessel. Learn its strengths. Honour its limitations. Develop its gifts. Use it well.

Masculine and feminine are not enemies.

They are polarity.

Creation requires difference.

God is not a misogynist.

But men have certainly spent a long time trying to make Him one.

And God, I suspect, is profoundly unimpressed.

And one final question, son.

If you believe in reincarnation, have you ever wondered what happens when you come back as a woman?

What if, in another lifetime, you are born into the body of the woman you currently believe is beneath you?

What if you spend that lifetime being treated exactly as you have treated women?

Would you still call it God’s design?

And if you don’t believe in reincarnation, fine.

You still have to answer the question: if God created you and her in His image, what exactly makes you think He will judge your treatment of her from your side of the fist?