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Building Better Connections: 4 Major Red Flags To Avoid

#2 Made Me Filter The Fake People Out Of My Life

By Zondra Dos AnjosPublished 3 months ago 3 min read
Top Story - December 2023
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Relationships are like mirrors to us; they point out what we should get better at and how we should give out time and energy; they give us the opportunities to set boundaries if needed and learn through empathy.

People are the most fascinating thing I have learned about, from great family connections to the ones who are not doing well. From friendships that lasted all my life to the fake ones. It’s all about how life plays out so we can evolve in the best way possible.

We all have met people with whom we get almost an instant connection and the people with whom we feel that is something that doesn’t quite resonate with us.

In my life path, I have learned a lot from the friendships that didn’t resonate with me, and by allowing people to be who they are, I learned the good and the bad.

In this conversation, I will give you four red flags to spot easily and find out if the person you are in contact with is genuine. So, let’s go directly to the main points.

By Obie Fernandez on Unsplash

#1 Jealousy

Let me say: Jealousy is normal until a certain point.

In some of my friendships, when I noticed that a friend reacted negatively whenever I told about my achievements or decisions, this was a big red flag for me.

A good friend will be happy for your achievements, and you are also glad for their success. If you say something to your friend, and the person persistently acts jealous and leads to suspicious behavior, it might suggest unreliability in the long run.

#2 Disregarding Feelings

In a genuine friendship, there are no sides; we are one; we want to be there for our friends and naturally expect them to be there for us.

It’s a red flag when a person is more focused on explaining your feelings than expressing their own. If you feel that you are an open book to them, but they are mysterious and do not tell you about them that much, this is something to pay attention to.

You shouldn’t be feeling stripped away of your privacy. Say less about your life, or don’t say it depending on the person or situation.

Fake friends may be self-centered, expecting everyone to think like them. Disregarding differences and trying to control your reality is a significant warning sign.

By Taylor Deas-Melesh on Unsplash

#3 Frequent Confusion

Do you know that feeling when we are having a conversation, and after the person leaves, you get confused?

For example, when I felt lost and uncertain about where I was standing in the friendship, I often questioned myself if the other person had the same consideration and if they would spend the time I was spending on them.

Being constantly uncertain about where we stand in the friendship might indicate a toxic relationship. Spending too much time worrying about dynamics or feeling excluded is a red flag we must pay attention to.

#4 Unbalanced Relationship

In a quality friendship, the effort is balanced. We can count on the person and give our best to be there for them.

However, a fake friendship often feels unbalanced, with you giving more than receiving.

If we’re consistently reaching out or providing support without reciprocation during your struggles, it’s a cause for concern.

By Duy Pham on Unsplash


Quality time with friends should leave you feeling understood and appreciated.

If you leave a hangout feeling worse about yourself, reflect on how your friend speaks to and about you.

Are they tearing you down to boost themselves? Are they dismissive, claiming you’re too sensitive? These signs indicate a lack of understanding in a quality friendship.


About the Creator

Zondra Dos Anjos

It’s a pleasure to meet you.

My Stories are about Astrology, Motivation, Spirituality, Stoicism, Self Development, Success and more.

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Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

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  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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Comments (10)

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  • Ha Le Saabout a month ago

    Excellent work! Keep up the fantastic effort

  • This was concise, but powerful! Your title immediately grabbed my attention and I did a virtual skip back, toppled over, found your story again and dove in!!! LOL. Not only was this informative, but it showed up while I was scrolling at an incredibly perfect time in my life. I'm definitely keeping these tips in mind. Wonderful job.

  • Well done... such true advice.

  • Babs Iverson3 months ago

    Awesome article and advice!!! Congratulations on the Top Story and Leaderboard win!!!💕

  • Daphsam3 months ago

    Wonderful topic. So good to write the red flags in a neutral environment. Easier to digest them. Thank you.

  • The Dani Writer3 months ago

    Such a great topic to cover! Sometimes it feels like friendship is a dying art because some people just don't know how to do it anymore. Good friends are invaluable and true treasures for life! Excellent top story!

  • Alexander McEvoy3 months ago

    Very good explanation of these red flags!! Sometimes my friends leave me confused but that’s mostly my own anxiety talking 😅

  • john53 months ago

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  • Real Poetic3 months ago

    Great job pointing out common red flags!

  • Rene Peters3 months ago

    I love this! Years of therapy helped me recognize some of these signs (specifically 2 and 4) and it helped me cut off fake people. It was hard but so worth it.

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