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6 Cultural Myths About Love

by kamika eleanor 3 months ago in marriage / love / feature / list / fact or fiction / dating / breakups / advice
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“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.” - The Notebook.

The Notebook

The worst aspect of civilizations is that they invariably contain a few myths that have no basis in truth and are completely absurd. Love is one such subject that is frequently shrouded in myths in almost all cultures. Due of the participants' false expectations of love, these beliefs have destroyed a lot of relationships. And if there was still any chance, it was extinguished by the opulent entertainment industry, which includes movies and television. They portray love in such a romantic light that people's expectations of true love are not met. Below, I'll attempt to debunk a few of these widespread fallacies.

1. The Myth of Automatically Finding "The One"

The most common myth about love is the existence of "the one" for everybody. This is as untrue as fairy tales are in real life. All the myths related to this term are like poison for relationships. It is often believed that you will immediately know when you will meet "the one" who is going to be your soulmate. Yes, you can be attracted to someone within a moment and that attraction can be pretty strong but it certainly doesn't mean that he can be your life partner. This attraction is usually just sexual in nature (or romantic in fancy terms) and choosing a life partner is much more work than just feeling romantic about a person. You need to know a lot of other things about the person to make him your life partner and most of those things aren't related to romance.

The issue with falling in love is that you can only perceive the positive aspects of that person, which may or may not be true. To determine what is truly real, you need to spend a lot of time observing. Even if a person exhibits all of these traits, he may not have the moral fortitude to support you wholeheartedly.

Another thing that starts to matter more, in the long run, is how well does the person you love get along with your family and circle of friends because you can't just ignore everybody that has been with you all your life just to be with the one person you now love. Is he comfortable with giving you your personal space or does he tend to own every bit of your space? This fact alone can be a game changer for any relationship.

You and your partner must be able to see the good and the terrible in one another in order to spend the rest of your lives together. Nobody can always be in the right. It's important for both of you to evaluate your comfort levels with each other's dark aspects and your ability to accept each other's mistakes. Before moving a relationship forward, it's crucial to remove all signs of ego and resentment.

How is it possible to think that instinct is all it takes to locate "the one" after all this effort?

2. The Myth of "Meant To Be"

It is believed that love is something that brings two people close who are "meant to be" together. Sorry to burst the bubble but it doesn't. There is nothing called "meant to be" in love. Everything related to love is a mutual decision of two understanding people. It needs a lot of effort and adjustments to make it work. However, the common myth is that if two people are meant to be together, every problem that may come to their way will get resolved. I am afraid such is never the case in real life. The research shows that 67% of the conflicts between couples do not get resolved at all. The problems need to be resolved in order to make things work. Nothing will happen on its own just because it is meant to be. It takes just a small misunderstanding to separate two lovers who have been together for years, if not resolved properly.

3. The Myth of Immediate Familiarity

Another common myth is that if you feel like you have known that person for a long time even when you are meeting him for the first time, he is definitely the one for you. This can be really tricky because it may delude your judgment completely. Some people are really good at taking initiatives and making others feel very comfortable with them and this is not a bad thing but it definitely doesn't mean that the two of you are fated to be together. In some cases, it might just be your inclination towards certain kind of personality traits. However, such a person may turn out to be your soul mate in the long run but it is not wise to jump to conclusions in your first meeting. Just give him some time as you would have given in case you had felt less familiar with that person.

4. The Myth of "One And Only"

It is a really good thing for two lovers to be mutually exclusive to each other in terms of attraction. They should be able to love each other the same way, no matter how many people enter or leave their lives. But it is a huge mistake to take this faithfulness of feelings for granted. The idea that there is only one true love for a person should never be believed. Even when two people are in love, they still behave like regular people. It is normal for them to become drawn to new people, their ex-partners, or a friend of theirs. Even if two lovers part ways and start dating new individuals, it does not imply that their love for one another was not genuine or that they do not sincerely love their new partners. Love is merely a sensation, like sadness or happiness, and it may or may not endure a lifetime. Love's durability is not an indicator of its morality.

However such distractions caused by feelings for others are usually not strong enough and can be easily taken care of by just letting them subside and not acting on them. After some time, your feelings for your partner usually return to like they were earlier. It is very hard to make a lasting relationship, hence it is never wise to ruin it just for the sake of momentary feelings.

5. The Myth of Relation Between Love and Obsession

When someone falls in love, a feeling of constant excitement and happiness without any reasonable reason seems to stick to them and it is quite natural. It is normal to think about the person you love almost all the time in the beginning but there is a thin line separating it from obsession. If you can think of nothing else apart from that person, it is only an obsession and has nothing to do with love. You might have read or watched in fictional love stories that the lovers are madly in love with each other and this proves that their love is true. But the reality is entirely different. Such obsession may be madness but it absolutely isn't love. Love doesn't turn your life upside down, it just adds more flavor to it. So your day-to-day activities aren't meant to be affected in a bad way.

6. The Myth of "Happily Ever After"

And last, the biggest myth of all times. It is generally believed that when love is true, it is always full of only the happy moments. But I am sure every couple in the world can say differently about their own relationship. Everything has scope for boredom and so does love. It is normal to be bored and irritated with your partner and have fights. A relationship never stays the same. It constantly keeps on evolving with time and being always happy isn't the sole meaning of love. Love is meant to be full of colors. You will have fights, arguments, good & bad moments and also the sex won't remain the same forever. And that doesn't mean that love has faded with time. There are a lot of chemicals and hormones that are responsible for your magical sex drive and they wear off with time resulting in a lack of libido.

Long-lasting relationships are possible, but not if you hold to these myths. To locate the appropriate person and establish a long-lasting partnership with him, you must make some honest efforts. Love is more than just having strong feelings for someone; it also entails utilising reason and wisdom to weigh the pros and cons of various options and make decisions accordingly.

However, if you feel bored and turned off almost all the time, you shouldn't ignore it as there is a lot you can do to spice things up. You might have to put in a little more effort than usual but things can still get pretty exciting.

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About the author

kamika eleanor

Blogger focused on film, media, fandom, music, science, technology, and all things geeky. Also a UX Designer/Internet Moderator/Content Creator/Book Author

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