Humor and satire to make you laugh. Everyone loves a good innuendo.
Who's that Girl?
If you surf the internet long enough, then chances are you'll come across a meme. According to Google the definition of a meme is an image, video, piece of text which is typically humorous in nature. It is often copied and spread rapidly by internet users, often with slight variations.
A Bad Writer's Limbo
I'm sitting in my apartment downtown that I can't afford staring at the wall while Speaking In Tongues plays loudly off the surround sound speakers that I didn't buy. Just staring at the wall listening, it's Sunday and I'm not doing anything, I have only $30 in my bank account. Buy food? I haven't eaten in two days. Buy cigarettes? My hands are shaking without having one. I go stand by my balcony door and move the curtain looking down on the street. It's just becoming spring, it's nice to see the sun heating away the last remaining piles of snow. I feel like those piles as they melt away into nothing... it's time for me to disappear.
Can You Resist?
Mmm, if I’m being completely honest I love to fuck. I don’t care about that making love crap, I like to fuck. Not so pretty but I don’t care for all the extra stuff I like to get what I came for and I’m out the door, kind of like a man would. It’s surprising how many men are not used to being used and thrown out the next day but I have to get mine just like you have to get yours. I’ve always had a high sex drive and when I was in high school I used to masturbate like there was no tomorrow, no literally. Like it was bad at one point I thought of talking to someone or pin pointing the reason for my obsession, but the pin point was it just felt so fucking good. The feeling you get when your about to explode but you hold off and tease yourself a bit and finally reach that point where you just can’t hold it in anymore and you explode and squirt like it’s the best orgasm you’ve ever had. That’s the feeling I’m talking about, that’s the feeling I fien for. I wanted to be a porn star so bad but I got into a relationship and that sort of went out the window then when I thought about it again I was insecure with my body, still am. Men say they are attracted to the curves and extra meat us bigger woman have going on but truth and reality I think it’s a lie. I want someone who’s gonna touch and caress every inch of my body, run his hand through my hair, choke me, slap me, fuck me like a wild fucking animal. I can’t just find a one night stand anymore things are different now I don’t even know how to flirt anymore, but thank god for tinder right? The ultimate hook up/ one night stand social media app. It’s 10 am I have to get out of bed and stop making pornos of myself in my head, I swear sex is all I think about sometimes. I wish there was a man who was on my level, someone who wants and needs it as bad as I do.
I Get Racist African Penis Enlargement Spam
Penis enlargement spam is back! Thicker, harder, larger than life, and now, racist as f — um, hell! I miss the quest for a really huge monster mandingo as the only welcome spam I received during its Golden Age. Today my digitized shitty lunch pseudo-meat induces sleep. Somewhere, someone got the idea I’m a golfer and I’m flooded with sales pitches for all things Old Retired White Boomer Man. I can’t imagine how I got on their lists since the world’s most boring sport is one I never Google.
How I Became a Bestselling Science Fiction Romance Author
I had this secret fantasy about my wife being abducted by a hot alien. I wanted to write a science fiction romance novel in which my wife would be the protagonist. That would feel like my fantasy became alive!
All men beware!!! 8 items you should never masturbate with.
A steaming apple pie definitely belongs to the soft category of misappropriated things that can be used for masturbation. It is said that guys who like to experiment try vibrating console controllers, kitchen utensils and garden tools. I’ve tracked down the worst penis traps for you and tracked down men who have made painful acquaintances with them. Not suitable for imitation!
“La Chatte à moitié moite”
The story of the half-wet pussy transpired on a cruise ship sailing around Tahiti and the Marquesas Islands before the pandemic. It was a good time, indeed, notwithstanding the pussy already a marvel by itself and wet, albeit only half all around the circumference and, of course, inside where it is always warm and nice. Very nice, methinks, now that I visualize the scene. I will never forget it, and soon, you will not either when you read all about it in the upcoming paragraphs full of the right words. No! The true words of the half-wet pussy. It all occurred in French. It is true that it sounded better in some parts. But when I sensed that English was going down, I recited some shameless Shakespeare, and Molière was put to bed, both literally and figuratively, which seemed to be the same, at least at the time.
They All Laughed
Some legend has it that one day — it was actually the middle of the night — most body organs were having a discussion as to which one of them was the most important part. Important how, some of us could ask? To life! But they are all important that way. Very true! But could any one organ, one singular part, or a part of a part, be crowned the king, or queen, of all parts? The optimum organ! The Don of organs!
The Last Shitstorm of Winter
There are plenty of types of suffering. We, as humans, engineer new ones every single day. But there is a unique despair to being trapped in a place with only one commode concurrent with companions being afflicted with bowel distress.
Minkus really had me thinking after our conversation last night. How is it possible that I’m 23 years old and haven’t experienced the power of an orgasm? A glorious, make your legs tremble, bring tears to your eyes, projectile squirting, type orgasm like the ones my co-worker described as she confided and overshared to me last week about her office romance with our manager? I’m pressed. I guess if I really want this experience, I need to let go and explore my body, my damn self.
Steve Jobs Was A Pimp, Without Ever Knowing It
I feel the tingling sensation, see the faint glow and immediately flip my wrist over. It’s Stormie, my watch. Yes. I named my watch, and while I know it may sound weird, it’s because she became more than just a way to tell time and check the date.
The Signs As Sex Positions
ARIES (MARCH 21ST - APRIL 19TH) Aries reminds me of air. Which reminds me of queefing. Which reminds me of the doggy style position. And there we have it folks, you lot get the doggy style position. This is also because I have looked at the way your stars are aligned and little dipper was getting dicked down doggy style by big dipper. Face down, ass up and well done. That’s how you like your meat. Also don’t forget to use a condom, Aries has a high rate of STI’s. I can’t release where I got this information from but it’s true.