Dirty Diary Side Entries

I am standing on the rooftop of a tall building. Loud music is playing through my headphones while dark clouds fill the sky. I scream as the song reaches its peak, releasing my emotions. A bolt of lightning strikes through the clouds, illuminating a tower on the horizon, drawing in the lightning. As I dance and shout the lyrics, rain starts to pour down. I am dancing on the edge of the building, lost in the moment. The sound of thunder rumbles in the distance. My thoughts are consumed with my emotions as the rain falls around me. People below me may not understand why I am dancing so close to the edge of the building as the music reaches the chorus. I let out a scream to release my anguish, coupled with a flash of lightning striking through the clouds and large droplets of rain falling from the sky as I shout the lyrics from my high-up position. As the beat picks up again, my body moves to the sound as I dance on the edge of the tall building, unaware of the spectacle I have created for myself. My thoughts are distressingly involved with my emotions as the rain falls around me, with occasional lightning flashes and thunderclaps.

Due to being in this currently lofty spot if I dropped, descending alone was enough to end my suffering if I slipped on the wet building material underfoot. I cared little for my safety in the moment of pain I felt. I spin and dance to the music that blares in my ears, blocking out the sounds of the city below me.

Feeling a deep sense and rush of adrenaline fill my body as I spin dangerously close to the edge of this roof, feeling the need to be free and not care about any more consequences that could come my way. My heart is heavy and wounded with the pain that I no longer wish to bear. Little did I know an audience had formed on the roof with me in this moment of soul-bearing pain. It's amazing how someone I barely knew, with a kind heart, could show me so much care. During those tough times, I danced and belted out songs to release all the hurt inside me. My body moved closer and closer to the edge as if my moves had been practiced for months, leading me to a slippery brink.

I intended to go out with a show and let the people below watch as I performed this dangerous act above them. So I could find a moment of peace and clarity from the damage caused by my ex-boyfriend. My heart slams into my chest as I move along the edge of the building, dancing, leaping, plus spinning in my elegant and gracefully endangering performance.

My screams to the sky, swallowed by claps of thunder in the darkened night with the city lights sparkling under the wet backdrop. The simple sway of my body to the beat of music that blares into my ears prompts those below to scream and cry in fear. I had no care. At this moment, I am free.

As I scream my feelings out, my foot slips on the wet surface under me, sending me towards the concrete below in what feels like slow motion. My heart screeched to a stop as I began to fall from the height of the building. My eyes widened as I began my descent. I didn't realize a man was on the roof with me. Somehow, this man reached me in seconds, grabbing ahold of my hand that was slippery from the rainwater.

His hand gripped mine so tightly it hurt more than the emotional pain I had been feeling only moments ago. Tears flow from my eyes, hidden in the raindrops that hit my features. It is as if the music senses the intensity as the sounds crash in my ears. My gaze trained on the man's features and his selfless act of trying to save me while also placing himself in danger.

Panic fills my eyes as the realization of the predicament settles around me. My body dangling stories from the streets as this man fights to hold on to me. I barely hear him yelling for me to 'hang on!'. I quickly tried to assess the situation when I noticed him slipping.

"Let go! I am not worth this!"

I scream, trying to get him to understand he shouldn't sacrifice himself for a stranger.

"You're worth it to me! You have so much more to learn!"

I hear the man shout. Nervous over the position of none or all, with someone else's life in my hands. I cannot help but heave a heavy sigh while fighting to maintain my grip on his hand. Rain continued to splatter around us, causing his grip to slip on my wrist, sending waves of panic through both of us. I reached out with my free hand to the nearest edge to grab ahold of it to assist in my safe return to solid footing. I tightly grasp onto the man who rescued me, trying not to slip or pull.

After struggling for a few moments while trying to climb the slippery wall back to the roof, my foot slipped on the edge after being pulled to safety. Sending me tumbling into the man's arms as we fall to the roof in a heap. He and I lay on the roof, struggling to regain our steady breaths, his arms unconsciously tightening around me. This man made me feel treasured, wanted, and almost needed. It was a strange sensation. I feel as if I could have some hope in a dark situation. While the man embraces me tightly, I feel his body trembling as if this moment has caused him to be afflicted with trepidation.

"You are worth it. I don't care what it was. You are worth having a life."

I heard this man speak in a trembling tone while his grip around me tightened more. My guilt began consuming me at the sight of this man trembling with me, a stranger in his arms. Feeling that this man needed more comfort than me at this moment, I embraced him while giving him the comfort and care that he seemed desperate to have. In a gentle show of comfort, I begin rubbing my palms over his back in a soothing motion.

"Thank you for reminding me. There is no need to stress anymore. You saved me. We are alive."

I whisper tenderly to the man to assuage any guilt that he may have. Uncertain of why this man chose to save me, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt for the grief he was suffering at this moment.

"What is your name? So I can address my savior properly."

I speak in a gentle yet playful tone to assist with calming down both of our frayed nerves while we hold onto each other, fighting for our stress to subside.

"Ethan, my name is Ethan."

He speaks out loud to me, a small smile forming on my lips as I hear his cute name. I then introduced myself to him and properly thanked him.

"Thank you for saving me, Ethan. I am in your debt, and I hope to be able to fulfill it one day."

I heard Ethan's low chuckle, which instantly brightened my mood before he spoke up.

"How about we do not jump from any more buildings?"

He laughed out loud, to which I wanted to keep the good feelings coming, so playfully joined in with the banter.

"I didn't jump. I was gracefully falling to my demise. There is a difference!"

I exclaimed at the end, trying to prove an imaginary point. I do this with the hopes of keeping Ethan laughing. To my delight, it worked. A roar of laughter ripped through the rainy night from within his chest. Hearing his laughter is infectious. And it begins bubbling from within me, spilling from my lips as we hold each other loosely.

"Do you always make jokes out of deadly situations?"

Ethan asks me while gazing at my features. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, technically, it is already in the past. It didn't happen, so why make it bigger than what it was?"

What I just said to him was nothing more than me trying to normalize a traumatic moment in time to please the people around me. My protector mentality has taken control of my vocal cords to ease his worries as my defenses become a steel cage around my heart. I care too much for others while caring nothing for my desires and needs. I forced a false happy smile onto my lips to keep Ethan in a good mood. The masking of my true feelings became almost second nature. Due to my empathy and bleeding heart, I could never feel comfortable being the reason someone else felt discomfort.

Soon after, I rise from the rooftop to stand on the flat surface and offer a helping hand to Ethan. Once, we both are standing on the flat surface of the roof. I turn to him and speak loud enough. That way, I am heard over the rain.

"We should get out of this rain."

Still holding Ethan's hand, I lead the way back into the building. But as I led him to the elevator that brought me to the roof. Ethan leads me to another door that no one can get into.

"We can't get in that way silly."

I playfully tell Ethan.

"Only those without the key cannot get in. I have a key."

Ethan smirks at me as he pulls out the key card when we reach the door to open it for us. He stepped aside to allow me in first before he followed close behind. We walk down a flight of stairs before entering another door in the massive hallway. I stepped through the doorway into the large luxury penthouse with dark-colored walls and furniture to match the style of the penthouse apartment.

The area had a masculine yet cozy and comfortable environment. I was amazed to see the immaculate and color-coded penthouse. I could tell that Ethan had mild OCD based on its organization. As I stepped into the area, the atmosphere was strikingly luxurious yet cozy and inviting. Every item had a designated spot and was color-coded. Despite the rigidity, the attention to detail and cleanliness made it a comfortable and appealing space. The decor of the penthouse was a majority of dark-color combos, but the way the room is defined makes it appealing to gaze at.

Ethan's penthouse was huge. I felt that I could easily get lost in this home quite easily. Soft music plays through the speakers built into the walls connected to Bluetooth. Ethan walks to his linen closet to pull out a few towels. Ethan handed me one of the towels to dry off with.

"Can't have someone as pretty as you getting sick on my watch."

I hear Ethan whisper to me. I blush crimson and lower my gaze shyly. With the way he is treating me, I can't help but feel a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. A feeling that almost makes me feel like I am a treasure to Ethan. I didn't understand this sensation, and something inside pushed me to explore it further. Without conscious thought, I moved closer to Ethan and wrapped my arms around him in a simple yet profound hug.

Ethan stiffened at the sudden gesture, but I didn't let him go. I felt like I had to be closer to him. Something called me, but I couldn't figure out what it was. All I wanted to do was give this man comfort and be close. Soon, I feel Ethan relax into my embrace before his arms wrap around me tightly. I could feel Ethan pulling me closer, pressing my body into his while we stood in each other's arms.

"I don't know what it is, but I just wanted to be in your arms. Please forgive me for my abrupt gesture."

I apologetically speak to Ethan as I hold onto him. Ethan's hand moves up my sides and over my throat tenderly before he cups my cheek in the palm of his hand, drawing my attention to his as he gently lifts my chin. As soon as our eyes lock on each other, Ethan leans down, pressing his lips onto mine in a passionate kiss. We both still feel the adrenaline from the earlier events coursing through our blood as we kiss. Ethan and I began removing each other's wet clothing and dropping them to the floor as we made our way to one of the nearby rooms. Our soaked clothes left a trail to the bedroom.

We can't keep our hands from touching each other's flesh. Even though we were cold from the downpour outside the penthouse, our touch heated one another up with how fever-pitched we felt. We both kissed as if we were dying from thirst for just intimacy. Ethan backs me to the bed before we cascade onto the king-sized bed. A loud sound of shock escapes my parted lips. In the next second, Ethen climbed onto the bed, hovering above my naked body. His gaze held desire and lust, pointed at me directly. Shivers ran through my spine as I lay shyly underneath his toned frame. Ethan's eyes roam slowly down my naked form with a devilishly handsome smirk on his lips. Each glance over my figure feels like he is touching my body where his gaze roams.

Ethan reached out a hand and teasingly traced his fingertips from the base of my throat lower until he reached my collarbone. My body is already responding to his every touch, causing soft gasps to leave my lips as I squirm under him. I could tell it only enticed Ethan more since he moved his fingers to take my nipple between his forefinger and thumb, twisting it into a hard nub gently. My back arched under him at the tension he was building inside of me as my core began to burn hotter in need.

The hunger in Ethan's eyes grows into a burning passion as he leans down, taking my other nipple into his mouth. His teeth scrape over my nipple tenderly before sucking it into a hard nub, causing moans to rip from my throat from the feel of his warm wet mouth. My squirming only intensified as everything became hazy, and all I could feel was this need for him to fill me. Ethan took his time tracing his fingers down the flesh of my belly until he reached the junction that lay between my legs. His fingers brush over my sensitive flesh, making my body tremble in anticipation of what is to come.

Ethan slowly slid his middle finger between my folds as his palm cupped my sex. A deep rumbling growl bubbled from Ethan's chest, tickling my ear and heightening my senses to a fight or flight response, but my body remained relaxed under his ministrations.

"Let me take a look at your lovely flower baby girl."

Ethan whispered in a tone with unbridled desire, coaxing me to spread my legs wider for him. I obeyed silently, spreading my legs wider for him and presenting my womanhood for his hungry gaze.

"That's my good girl."

Ethan growled to me, eliciting soft whimpers as I turned my head towards the right in a shy nature. I feel the hand that was playing with my nipple slowly slide down to my waist over the soft flesh of my belly as Ethan slides his middle finger inside my taunt walls. A low, rumbling moan leaves Ethan's throat before he whispers.

"You already want me this badly. You are so wet for me already, little girl."

The dominance in Ethan's tone sends waves of lust and desire through me. My cunt pulsed around his middle finger as he curled it to stroke my G-spot. A strangled cry of pleasure leaves my lips as my body shivers under his touch.

"You. Are driving. Me. Crazy!"

I moan out in panted breaths as he continues his slow strokes against my pleasure spot.

"Then I guess I should bring you back to your senses."

Ethan growls as he positions himself between my spread legs. I see his hand reach down between us, gripping his swollen member to press it against my entrance. With a slow push, he pops the head of his member into my taunt walls.

"Fuck~~~"

I hear him breathe out in a low moan as he sinks deeper into my womb. I gasp and instinctively arch my back under him, pulling him deeper inside while my cries of pleasure fill the room. Ethan started the pace off slow, rolling his hips against mine in his gentle thrusts. My fingers traveled tenderly over the flesh of his arms as his muscles flexed under my touch. Entangled in each other's embrace of slow thrust, Ethan brings his lips down to capture mine in a passionate kiss while he begins changing the pace to a much faster one. Breaking from the kiss, Ethan leaned over me, placing his hands on my hips to hold them firmly in his grasp as he started pounding into me at a harsher and faster pace.

My arms wrapped around his neck as I clung to him during his fast pace. Gasps and cries of pleasure leave my throat while his fingers dig into my fleshy hips. Slowly, I released my grip around his neck to lay back against the bed so I could roll my hips into his thrusts, sending the lewd noise of our flesh pounding against each other filling the room. My cunt, soaked from the juices of our sex, created a gushing sound as he pounded harder into my womb. Ethan holds fast as I roll my hips into his thrust as he fights off his orgasm, wanting me to cum first.

I gasp from pleasure and for breath as my walls begin pulsing harder, indicating my approaching release and sending him into a frenzy as he pistons his hips into mine.

"Oh fuck. I'm going to cum!"

I cry out to him in pleasure as he continues to thrust his hips into my cunt. Soon after, my twat clamps down hard over him as I release a scream of pleasure as my orgasm slams through my body. My orgasm was so hard that as my fluids squirted out from my taunt hole and around him to drip down onto the bed sheets, I heard him moan out.

"Fuck, that's it, baby girl. You feel so fucking good."

He grunted out as he continued his rough pounding until he slammed into me one last time as a roar of pleasure left his throat. I felt his hot, sticky load fill me to the brim as he emptied himself inside me before it also leaked from my hole and down his shaft. Ethan collapses on top of me after our intense session. And I accept his weight while I hold him in my arms. We lay together, trying to regain our breath. I tenderly stroke his back and shoulders while sometimes running my fingers through his hair to provide him with a sense of comfort and calm to help him relax.

After some time, I feel Ethan relaxing in my embrace, and his muscles release from the session.

"That was amazing, Ethan. Thank you."

I whisper to him words of praise and gratitude to him. Ethan raised himself onto his elbows before gently pulling out of my cunt. Once removed, Ethan laid on his side and pulled me into his arms to hold me close. I feel Ethan's palm rubbing my back and sides leisurely as we rest in bed together. I'm not sure how much time passed before the thought of me leaving came to mind. Slowly, I began to pull back from him, only for his arms to tighten around me and pull me back in.

"You're not going anywhere tonight, princess. I want to make sure you wake up tomorrow morning."

Ethan spoke to me with such a possessive and dominant tone. All I could do was nod in submission to his wants. We lay together tenderly, providing comfort before we drifted into a deep, satisfied slumber.