The Curse_via Showtime

My husband and I tried to watch The Curse streaming on Paramount+ (or Showtime if you have a subscription).

The Curse stars one of my favorite actresses, Emma Stone, as Whitney. I thought, “Oh yes, yes! Emma is in this!” Nathan Felder plays her husband, Asher. The couple is trying to get a new type of HGTV show up and running, Flipanthropy. They are cutesy, over-the-top, relatable, and perky as a married home-makeover couple. The Curse begins as a sarcastic take on many HGTV stars and shows. Asher and Whitney really want to make life better for everyone with their style of homes.

Flipanthropy homes have a low impact on the Earth, called “passive” houses, and the prospective stars are eager to explain it to an interviewer. Unfortunately, the interviewer has some family background on Whitney and prefers to talk about that.

The interviewer/reporter states that the couple is pricing out the regular folk. Whitney explains that although that might happen, they are also creating jobs to offset the issue. The reporter comes back at them with strong declarations of the gentrification of neighborhoods, and what do they say about that? Asher doesn’t like the interviewer continually bringing up Whitney’s wealthy parents, well-known as slum landlords. He becomes very aggressive with the reporter but later regrets it. Asher is certain this reporter will air the interview just as it occurred, with no edits, and he will look like a fool; worse, it will harm Flipantrophy.

Suddenly, he realizes he has information for a national report he can use to barter with her in exchange for not airing their interview. Asher calls her, and they meet immediately. Asher explains he used to work for a large casino and can give her proof of illegal doings with the gaming commission, which is a much larger story.

**

Asher and Whitney go to her wealthy parents’ home for a meal. As Asher uses the washroom, the viewer is hit with a full-on view of his penis, and …. well… it is a small one, full frontal view, as he urinates in the toilet. Okay? That was weird. Who wants to watch someone urinate?

Oh, wait a minute, I get it! That scene wasn’t about the urinating, it was about his tiny penis. But...is it?

Whitney’s father, Paul, played by Corbin Benson, and Asher go outside to Paul's greenhouse.

Now, this is where the FIRST episode goes off the rails.

There are tomatoes in Paul’s greenhouse, and there are lots of different types. Paul explains about tomatoes and his special soil ingredient to make them so healthy and tasty. Asher is curious, and Paul then tells him it is human urine. He just puts a little bit of human urine in the soil.

As they talk, it comes to light that Whitney has informed her parents of some trouble in the boudoir and of the size of her husband’s manly parts.

Paul begins to talk to his son-in-law about this issue, and Asher is bewildered why they are talking about the size of a man’s penis and about his sex life. When the lightbulb flicks on in his head, he becomes furious that his wife would have discussed their sex life with her parents.

**

While Asher is fuming, Paul suddenly says he needs to empty his bladder, which he proceeds to do ON THE TOMATO BEDS in his greenhouse! After moving from plant to plant, providing his secret ingredient, he turns to Asher and tells him that it’s okay to have a tiny penis because he does, also. It shouldn’t affect their love life at all. FULL FRONTAL OF HIS penis (maybe computer generated - CG?).

I don’t know what else happened because I found the show really inane and not worth any more of my time. In the beginning, viewers can quickly figure out that this is a farce on the home improvement shows: how lovely, caring, and helpful the home-makeover stars are, and everyone wins in the end.

How did we go from there to seeing a tiny penis?

I don’t know. Your guess is as good as mine. (Is it that the writer wanted to know the viewers’ opinion of this? Is it because he is in that category? Shock value? Wasn’t there a saying, “It’s not what you have, but what do you do with it?”)

I guess if you want to spend an hour of your time each week watching a weird writer’s idea of a good time, be a voyeur, go ahead.