Have you ever been in a situation where you fucked up so bad beyond any return of dignity? This has happened a few times in my lifetime. Usually because I was sloppy and messy and didn’t really care about anyone’s feelings. Let me explain….
I had heard all the stories about how big he was. And I don’t mean his height. I mean, I was told he had a whole horse between his legs. I have never rode a real horse, now I’m attempting to ride a whole man horse penis. Can you say, “young and completely dumb”? I also don’t know what in hell even made me want to find out for myself. I was a virgin! Yep, I said it, a virgin. But that was all about to change, or so I thought!
About 12 years ago, I met this guy at the store. He had some physical qualities I really like in guys, so when he approached me, I was like “heeeeeyyyyyyy”. We exchanged numbers and began to talk on the phone practically everyday. He asks me out a few times, but I was hesitant! I don’t know if it was my “cukie” radar was off or what, but made excuses for about a good two months. So here comes month 3 and I was becoming more comfortable with dude so I was like sure. We did the movie and dinner thing and back to my place.
I have been single now for 4 years. For about half of those I chose to stay single, needing time to heal and grow from my disaster of a marriage. The other half I have actively looked for someone to start over with. Here is where I want to scream at every guy on the street. Young, old, professional, blue collar, single dads, baby daddies, no kids, alcoholics, or not, it seems as if every man at some point thinks it’s okay to whip out their dick and take a picture.
Call me naive. Go ahead. Looking for extra income, and by extra I mean extra to pay more than one bill this month, I stumbled across an ad looking for Canadian sex chat operators. Simple sexting.
I have grown to love working out and being in the health and wellness industry. Trainers are amazing to me. All of them! The dedication they have is unbelievable, although I do believe the dedication is in part because of their profession, but they do definitely have a different mindset and certain disciplines not all people have. Most of their bodies are amazing, both men and women! Now, I’m not the fittest chick, but I do have some beautiful natural curves that took awhile for me to appreciate, thanks to my mama! Now that I’m completely confident in my own body, I love myself even more. Looking back at when I was younger and having sex, I realized my sexual tendencies were nothing to brag about. I was very insecure about myself and wasn’t confident about my body. It’s crazy looking back at younger years and thinking I was fat! I wasn’t fat, I just wasn’t model skinny. If I would have known that having confidence = better sex, I would have worked on myself years ago HAHA. All I’m saying is please love yourself! Do whatever it takes to get confident. It will get you so much further than thinking you aren’t good enough, and once you become confident with what you have been given, I promise you that you will have the best sex you will ever have!
I’m writing these short stories about my journey of life, not because I had it hard (you will learn that it wasn’t hard in the ways you think), but instead to shed some light and have some light-hearted humor in the mix. I’m a happily divorced single mom with an ex-husband that is fully involved and wants to see his kids, which in reality means that I began to have a double life. I’m a loving mother some days of the week and let's just say that on others, I'm a promiscuous motherfucker. Let’s just say I take advantage of the no-kid days to the fullest.
When I said, “It’s okay, we can just stop trying,” he didn’t stop trying.
I sat on the couch practically bouncing off. I check my phone again, the third time in the minute. Where was he? He said 6 and here we were, 6:05. I lean back to see out the window and Mom chuckles at me softly.