Filthy logo

10 Things That Turn Women On

Want to know how to turn a woman on? Here’s some spicy advice!

Naturally women always seem to know just how to turn a person on, but are you ready to turn the tables on her? Whether you're new to experimenting or you just want to add some spice to your current routine, I have a list of things that might just get your girl revved up and ready to go.

1. Manners

First off, don’t be in a hurry to jump straight into action. Be the charming gentleman your mother raised you to be. It’s all about the build up, start off slow. When working on the build up it’ll require laying some ground work.

•When being in the presence of a girl, making her feel safe is a must. Make sure you’re displaying your respect and admiration for her. Don't neglect the importance of consent either, it’s very crucial. Keep in mind that sex for the most part, has a great significance to women and girls alike, sex is a very intimate act that most women cherish. Making sure she feels comfortable will help you out a lot.

• Compliment her as often as you can, don’t overdue it though. Eyeball the smallest of things and point them out in a fascinated matter. Anything as simple as the way her hair looks, her outfit, freckles, dimples, smile, makeup, etc. Compliments are always the way to go. It’s a charming way to make a girl feel special.

•Be confident, even if you’re not a very confident person. Some girls like a guy who is nervous and even klutzy around her, but don't go overboard with it. If the girl is shy, be confident; if the girl is confident, feel free to act somewhat shy. Keep your shoulders straight and your chin high, and don't be afraid to look her in the eyes. You're communicating through your body language that you're strong, brave, and worthy of her attention.

• In all reality, your appearance matters. Cleaning up is always a good option when trying to impress a girl. Shower, put on deodorant, add a little bit of cologne into the mix, shave, brush your teeth, wear clean clothes, and you can also style your hair.

2. Sexy Massages

What’s better than a deep sensual massage? Every woman craves to be put in a blissful state and be touched in her soft spots. Not only are you releasing tension she may have, but this massage may lead to something more (*wink wink*). Lighting candles will set the mood. A small reminder, you definitely do not need a huge flat or spare bedroom to give an erotic massage in, as long as the space you do have is nice and relaxed (and comfy). Dimming the lights will prevent any discomfort and will give it that romantic setting, hence why the candles are a go-to.

Further advice:

•This is the best time to converse with her, “How was your day today?” “I hope you had an amazing day today” or “You look beautiful”. If you’d like, you could always ask them what specific area is feeling tense so you can massage that section better.

•Using body oil wouldn’t hurt. A nice slippery oil or lotion will give you better access to glide across their body. A plus is that it’ll leave their skin feeling nourished and smooth! You could use regular massage oil, but if you work on your partner with a safe-to lick body oil, you'll know it's safe to come into contact with more... private areas of the body, too.

•Goin back to the candles, did you know there’s massage candles? Sounds sexy, right? Start off by lighting the wick and when the wax melts, allow the candle to turn into a warm liquid that can be safely poured on to the skin for a much needed sweet scented massage. Massage candles are a creative way to set the mood and just add to their sexy massage experience.

•If you’re not confident with your massaging skills, try using a massage stone. Or any type of massaging device!

3. Neck kisses

Everyone loves neck kisses, doesn’t matter what gender. When you think about it, for a female the neck is like the clit of the head. You can kiss your partner’s neck from many different positions. You can stand behind them and tease them with neck kisses. Begin by planting a few loving kisses down her neck, don’t use your teeth just yet. Pay attention to the mane of the neck— the spot at the very back of the neck just below the hair—it’s extremely sensitive.

I advice to go over other parts that are good neck-kissing areas such as the sides of the neck near the shoulder, or higher up on the neck below where the chin begins. Try kissing different areas of your partner’s neck to see which they like best. Even planting kisses down their bare shoulder and bare back, before giving them a massage.

When it come to sucking your partner’s neck—it can 100% be a turn on— but if you continue to suck and slightly bite the area a bruise can form. That bruise being a hickey. If you want to avoid hickeys, suck your partner's neck lightly and briefly, and don't suck the same location more than once.

If your partner is on board with hickeys, suck as long and as hard as you’d like. Remember that if you’re going to add teeth, try to avoid breaking skin. Be gentle at first and then proceed to add a bit more pressure.

4. Being dominant

Nothing’s more sexier than a man being dominant in bed. Most females want a man who knows how to dominate a woman and drive her over the edge into a screaming orgasm, to make her so wet that she’ll need to take a shower after. Always make sure your partner is willing to take things further. There are three types of dominance—believe it or not:




This all depends on what your partner is okay with. Feel free to begin gently and eventually work your way up.

Gentle domination:

Against the wall— Pushing your partner up against a door or wall is a great way to express your dominance. Obviously, don’t hurt her while you do this. Make sure to spread her legs and keep them pinned between you and the wall. You can grab both of her arms and press them up against the wall, above her head and kiss her. Or you can even lift her up and push her against the wall, making sure both of her legs are wrapped around your waist.

Talk dirty— Dirty talk is such an easy way to turn someone on. Let your partner know you’re in charge and that you want her. Whisper in her ear what you’ll do to her in bed.

Manhandle her— Manhandling your partner will further show them you’re in charge. Pick her up and throw her on the bed and show her how strong you can be. Try holding her down, too, while you’re at it. Don’t give her a chance to get up when you’re on top. If she attempts to, use your strength and hold her down. Try putting both her wrists above her head and holding her down with one hand while you pump into her. If you’re doing it right, you’ll see a mischievous glint in her eyes. She probably won’t say it, but she’s loving every minute of it.

Moderate domination:

This is where the fun truly begins. The two of you are now comfortable and she starts coming back for more when you whisper the things you want to do to her in her ear, biting the lobe as you do. If you want to be more playful, gently bite her lower lip.

Spanking— Bend her over your lap and just spank her. Tell her how naughty she’s been. Or if you’re behind her, grab her hip with one hand and leave a nice palm print with the other on her ass. Then, switch sides. Spanking is a great way to show your dominance from any position. Even if she’s on top—but if you’re in charge why would she be on top?—you can still smack her ass. If your partner does manage to get on top and you want to show her that you’re the one who’s really in charge, grab her by the hips or in a hug and flip her on her back. It’ll happen too quickly for her to do anything and the look of lust in her eye for you after it happens will be priceless.

Love bites— Bite and nibble all over her sweet spots. You can do it all over her body, whether it’s her neck, stomach, inner thigh, nipples, earlobe, anywhere. Try working your way up or down her body, leaving a trail of hickeys or almost-hickeys. Tell her that you’re marking your territory, if she asks why. This is a great technique to use at any stage of being dominant, it just depends on how hard you bite.

Handcuffs— This certainly displays that you’re in charge. Start with just her hands or feet handcuffed to the bed then move on to total domination by handcuffing each limb. If you don’t have handcuffs, use belts or ties—they work just as good and you don’t have to go out and spend any extra money on them. Make sure she’s comfortable with the idea and that she isn’t getting hurt with the handcuffs on. You can purchase any types of cuffs online, I’m sure she’d prefer the cute fuzzy cuffs!

Aggressive domination:

Chocking— You’d be surprised at the amount of women that are kinky and actually enjoy being chocked. When you’re on top, try choking her. Start with one hand, gently pressing down on her throat before moving to the two-hand choke, where you have more control over the power you’re exerting. As with any aggressively dominant move, be careful. Too much can be incredibly dangerous. You want to turn your partner on, you don’t want to end up hurting her permanently. Be sure to know the limits. There’s a line between aggressive dominant sexual behavior and being abusive.

Bondage— BDSM isn’t for everyone, but if you and your partner enjoy it definitely do it. If you’re willing to try it for the first time, this will definitely be like in the movies (50 Shades of Grey reference). Tying your partner up, spanking harder than before, leather whips, chains, and so much more. The main point is to not go too hard nor too fast. Dole out her punishment in small doses, gradually increasing the power you’re using. Remember to create and agree to a safe word, but if she doesn’t say it, continue—she’s most likely loving it. Adding some manhandling in there and you’ll obliterate any image of the movie and book she has. The only Christina Grey she’d want is you.

Gagging: Similar to chocking, gagging can turn your partner on if done right. You can buy ball gags along with numerous other types in any sex shop and they work great to keep your partner quiet while you do whatever you want to her, but a rock hard penis works just as well. Mix this with handcuffs to really show her who’s in charge. She’ll have no choice but to open up and accept whatever is coming her way.

5. Teasing

There are two options to teasing. You can do it via text or physically. Building sexual tension over text is a powerful way to maintain the attraction level you’ve built with a woman. The idea here is to assume the girl you’re texting is attracted to you and is actively hitting on you.

Flipping the script like this and assuming the girl is chasing you and thinking dirty thoughts about you allows you to turn the conversation with the woman sexual in a fun and playful way. Yet another way to bring sex into your conversations with women and playfully flirt with women through text is to use sexual innuendos.

There are great jokes to text girls as they show women you are comfortable around the topic of sex— which allows her to be comfortable with it in return. If you feel like you want to be straightforward with her, tell her how much you desire her and the things you’d love to do to her. You can of course do that, if you feel like she’s comfortable with you.

When being face to face with one another, share a heated kiss with her and walk away like nothing happened. This technique will have her craving for more. Grab her in sensitive areas in a teasing manner. Keep her guessing as much as possible. At some point all that build up and sexual tension will get to her.

6. Fingering

If you’re down and ready to get slippery, tease her vagina. Important side note— make sure your fingernails are trimmed and short enough to prevent any harm from being done— along side that, keeping your hands and under your fingernails clean at all times. Be careful not to be too rough as this can lead to miner vaginal tears which, in addition to taking a few days to heal, increase the risk of catching an STI.

Our fingers can be gentle yet strong. Each soft, smooth fingertip is incredibly sensitive and receptive, allowing them to respond to a partner's cues, change rhythms, and expertly play with the labia, clitoris, vagina and all the lusciously sensitive skin between them.

The hand makes for an amazing sexual tool. But you still need to know how to use it. As we all know, the clitoris is the center of attention. The clitoris is extremely sensitive but is the key to unlocking a ray of pleasure. Fun fact— the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings (wow)— and expands deep into the pelvic area and around the vagina. Do not rub too harsh when playing with a girl’s clit.

Start off by massaging it slowly and playing with it lightly. Just as you need to build up the intensity, it's also best to work your way from the outside in towards the clitoris. Think of the clitoris as a sort of bullseye.

In this case, you want to start stroking and touching the outer edges— the legs, thighs and lower abdomen. You can do this with your fingers—the sensation will be so light and teasing, it'll build your partner's anticipation. Make sure your partner is reacting in a positive way, this is obviously your cue to continue.

Everyone is different, when inserting your finger inside of her ask her if she’s enjoying it or watch her expression to see any signs of pleasure. Do not go crazy and jam your finger in and out of her right away, start slow and gentle. Eventually increase the speed a bit as you play with her clit and labia.

Once you’re both comfortable, apply another digit inside. Some people like a circular, swirling motion inside the vagina. This stirs up the sensitive area at the opening of the vagina.

Some people like G-spot stimulation (that spongy area of tissue that’s two to three inches inside the front wall of the vagina, which swells during arousal). There are a few G-spot techniques you can try. The most common is a firm, "come-hither" motion using a finger or two against the front wall of the vagina.

7. Cuddling and being affectionate

Grabbing her from behind while she’s doing something will give her butterflies. Wrapping your arms securely around her will make her melt against you.

Whether you’re holding her standing up or laying in the couch cuddling— she’s definitely going to feel relaxed and maybe a little aroused. Anything as basic as kissing her passionately, rubbing against her, grabbing her ass or boobs, kissing down her body, will make her crave more.

Give her all your attention and as much affection as possible. Women and men alike love to be the center of attention!

8. Going down on her

Like fingering, start off slow. Make out with her, trail butterfly kisses down her neck, chest, stomach, and thighs. This will lead to you finally reaching the final destination—the vagina. Tease her around her vagina and her inner thighs with light licks and gentle tickles. Then, softly graze her clitoris with the tip of your tongue and pull back. Teasing is always appropriate for any occasion.

Before actually starting, give your partner a way to signal that she wants more of something by telling her to tug on your hair when it feels good. Many women feel self-doubt and insecurity when it comes to their vagina’s smell and scent. But let’s be real—If you didn’t enjoy both, you wouldn’t be down there.

Make sure she’s at ease, she’s your priority at the moment. Don’t hesitate to use your fingers when going down on her. You’ve heard of doing the ABCs or other tricks, but a simple circular motion will do. Flick your tongue back and forth, then continuously suck her clit gently.

If you’re feeling confident, you can insert your tongue inside of her. Be very gentle and simply twirl your tongue. Or you can just insert your tongue in and out of her, keeping the rhythm as you do it.

9. Experimenting with toys

When it comes to experimenting with sex toys—it’s extremely exciting. Allow her to use her favorite sex toys in bed before you and her get steamy. One sex toy I definitely recommend— a remote controller vibrator.

Not only will it turn her on but it’ll be a memorable orgasm for her. If you’re both feeling like sneaking around in public, just have her attach the vibrator to her underwear and have as much fun as you’d like.

The best part is that no one will know. What better way than getting off to a vibrator that can attache to your underwear and be controlled from a remote and your phone.

If you’re interested in experimenting with sex toys or want to buy one for your lovely femme, check out Top 10 Sex Toys That Will Make You Orgasm for a full guide on high quality sex toys!

10. Having sex in multiple places

It’s safe to say that having sex in public will give you a rush of adrenaline. Even if you don’t feel like having public sex anything as simple as doing it in the kitchen, bathroom, parent’s bedroom, living room, laundry room, or in the car! If you’re feeling a bit risky you can have sex at the beach, park, woods, movie theater, etc.

Anyone would agree that they’ve thought about having sex in a public area before, it’s a fantasy that has crossed the minds of the majority of people. Just don’t get caught if you do decide to have sexual intercourse in public places, you could get in trouble. Many would agree that this is definitely a huge turn on. Test out your wild side and see if you enjoy it.

Want to know more about sex? Check out these other articles!

10 Things That Turn Guys On

10 Best Sex Positions That’ll Make You Orgasm

10 Ways To Make Your Man Orgasm

How To Give A Mind-blowing Blowjob:Tips & Tricks

Big reminder: Sex is normal! Sex toys are normal! Fetishes are normal! BDSM is normal! Don’t be ashamed of what you like!

Thank you for reading <3

sexual wellness
𝐵𝓇𝒾𝓉𝓉𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝑀.
𝐵𝓇𝒾𝓉𝓉𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝑀.
Read next: A Night at the Theatre
𝐵𝓇𝒾𝓉𝓉𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝑀.

Psychologist in training.

I speak Spanish, Italian, French, and German 🌍

It would mean a lot to me if you could check out and ❤️my articles!

When writing, I have a wide variety of topics I like to touch up on.

ᴛɪᴘs ᴀʀᴇ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛʟʏ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇᴅ 🥰

See all posts by 𝐵𝓇𝒾𝓉𝓉𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝑀.

Find us on socal media

Miscellaneous links