Humor
Broccoli Is Good For You
Toodle was a remarkable boy. His teachers would always tell his mother how impressed they were by his brilliant study habits and quick wits when she came to pick him up from school every day. She would brag to the other parents of Toodle’s second grade class how her boy would come home from school and flip through the gauzy thin pages of the English dictionary until she had to pry him away for dinner. The other mothers would then marvel at what a perfect child she was raising, and she would respond with something like, “Oh, I know. Isn’t he just darling?”
By Keturah McQuade3 years ago in Fiction
M.C. Hammerhead
Imagine meeting the love of your life. He's perfect. He's charming. He has great eyes, strong hands and is as gentle and loving as he is kind and strong. That's my husband! Bruce . Did you know the name Bruce means “ Be like water.” Well, okay, he was named after Bruce Lee . And he's about as dreamy as Bruce Lee was. In the daytime that is. He works all day with his huge group of buddies, as a marine biologist . He is what you would call a social butterfly, with fins instead of wings. . Does not know a stranger. And works until evening. He comes home and we eat . Every day we have to keep a very structured schedule. We have to have an alibi. It is not always easy but I married him for better or for worse. He also works part time as an Emcee . Hosting parties, wedding, birthdays , MMA, and wrestling events. But they have to be events that don't require him to stay too late. See my husband is wonderful. But he has a flaw. He leaves teeth. Shark teeth. Because that is what he is. And the longer he is left in his hunter mindset, the more he progresses to his spirit animal, the Hammerhead Shark.
By Layla Nelson3 years ago in Fiction
Death By Chocolate
By Betsy Kelberlau Jenny was not very coordinated as a child, nor as she got older. When she was a freshman in high school, she went with some friends to a roller skating rink. Jenny was roller skating with one of her friend’s Mom. This was her first time roller skating and she was very shaky. The Mom kept saying, hold on to me. Don’t let go. Hold on. Well, Jenny didn’t listen to her. And she went down. She caught herself with her right wrist. Oh, goodness. Boy, did it hurt. Jenny’s friend’s Mom felt so badly. Jenny said, well, it’s not your fault. You were telling me to hold on. And I didn’t listen to you.
By Betsy Kelberlau 3 years ago in Fiction
The Queen of Cakes
It was many years back in the land of France. Queen Marie ruled with a heavy heart and the mind of a true narcissist. But she always had desired more, mostly the finest desserts that only the world’s greatest culinary minds could serve her. However, each of these heads were soon disconnected from the rest of their bodies as they had failed to please her royal highness. From the most delectable vanilla cookies to the most beautiful strawberry bowls of ice cream, all expensive, all gorgeous, but all failures in the queen’s mind. But the one dessert that nobody could afford to serve her, her prime desire, chocolate cake from the rarest and amazing cocoa beans on the planet.
By Nathan Miller3 years ago in Fiction
The Ladybug Lady
The year was 2003. Pirates of the Caribbean had just released into the theaters. Many women on the planet were falling in love with Johnny Depp. There was a lady who was the jealous type. She also loved Johnny Depp. That was very dangerous to love an actor and also be the jealous type.
By Amanda and Carrie Boyed3 years ago in Fiction
Piece of Cake
“You can bake, right?” Rick looked over the desk towards the Chief, who looked far more concerned than he normally did in briefings. Of course, briefings were normally talking about targets, and reasons that they needed to either be killed or stopped from being killed, rather than straying into topics like culinary efforts. Rick gave a smile, trying to be reassuring.
By Chris Cunliffe3 years ago in Fiction
Bird-Nerd's Aren't Real
Karen’s phone rang while she was weeding her flowerbeds. “Let it go to voicemail,” she thought to herself as she pulled dandelions out from around the marigolds. After the third hangup, she grabbed it and stared down at an unknown number. Hitting the message icon, she grumbled, “Who the hell can that be?” Listened impatiently, a raspy voice cracked over the speaker, “This is Jim Henderson. John asked me to bring one of the pups over when they were ready. I’ll be stopping by in five minutes.” "I guess I should go find him," she muttered as she hung up the phone. Hearing the pouch door slam, she looked up and saw her three sons running from the house.
By Suzanne Bennett Mcelroy3 years ago in Fiction