The Queen of Cakes

It was many years back in the land of France. Queen Marie ruled with a heavy heart and the mind of a true narcissist. But she always had desired more, mostly the finest desserts that only the world’s greatest culinary minds could serve her. However, each of these heads were soon disconnected from the rest of their bodies as they had failed to please her royal highness. From the most delectable vanilla cookies to the most beautiful strawberry bowls of ice cream, all expensive, all gorgeous, but all failures in the queen’s mind. But the one dessert that nobody could afford to serve her, her prime desire, chocolate cake from the rarest and amazing cocoa beans on the planet.

The servants begged and pleaded, the nation was under a loss of wealth, they simply could not afford the necessary ingredient for her. But the Queen was unsatisfied with rejection and her servants joined the other failures in death. For she continued her desire for her chocolate cake but with many of her country’s citizens living in poverty, the cocoa beans were simply not of her time. However, then a peasant noticed a strange machine near the castle. He feared to approach it, but a man came out wearing the garments of a true chef.

But the peasant begged, “Sir, you mustn’t attempt to serve her majesty, the Queen. For those who have tried from all lands have failed and their bodies lie in the blood of the others.” The man smiles and looks around before responding, “I just figured they got themselves into a jam. But I guess I am in the right spot.” The peasant stood confused as the man laughed at his own joke. “Oh wait, I always forget, it’s too early for people to get a sense of humor.” The man grabs a fine dish from his machine as he continues towards the castle doors as the peasant attempts to stop him. “Please, I beg you, don’t enter that door, for your own life’s sake.”

The man stops and looks at the man, “Well, if you’d like to serve her, be my guest. Just let her know that the aroma of the cocoa is quite…. powerful.” The peasant responds to the man in complete surprise, “Cocoa? How could you afford such an exquisite dessert?” The man laughs and says, “Well I went to a secluded place and ordered the number two.” The peasant continues to look in confusion as the man says, “Well, I guess I should get her this since that seems to be the trend right now.” The peasant just stares as he goes in before saying the last words to him, “Farewell, sir.”

The castle halls become filled with the aroma of the dessert as the remaining servants come over to see the man with his dish. The butler comes over as the man smiles at him, “Ah, the man with the perfect profession for the occasion. I’ve come to see the Queen.” The butler gives a look of concern as he takes a smell. “Well, at least with you she’ll make the decision early.” The man smiles as he follows the butler to the halls of her majesty.

The Queen continues to await as she sees the man enter the hall before motioning him to stop. “Oh, my word. I could smell the aroma from when you entered, what might this be?” The man pulls off the lid and presents a dark chocolate cake with what looks to be very yellow nuts stashed into it. He then announces, “I have brought only the finest chocolate cake made of the most personal cocoa beans that I could collect for you.” The Queen looks upon it with interest as she speaks towards the man, “The most personal cocoa, you say? Well, you must be of high esteem.” He then responds with, “Well, I am no party pooper, to say the least.” The room goes silent as he then says, “I apologize if my humor is corny, your majesty.”

The butler gives a look to the other staff to signify to make room for his corpse. The man continues to smile before speaking again, “I promise you that this cake is nothing to lose your head at…I mean, shake at.” The Queen motions for him to come closer before grabbing her favorite fork from the table. She then smiles for the first time in recent memory for her servants to notice, she had finally assumed that she had the chocolate cake that she had craved. The butler motions to the man who immediately bows towards the queen and says, “Well, madam, I hope you are relieved with my dish.” She smiles and motions him away. “Indeed, I am, be gone now. You survive another day.”

The man smiles and leaves the room as the servants look in surprise. The queen continues to smile before taking a slice of the chocolate cake. She then takes her first bite. “So, this is the taste of pure cocoa…” She suddenly gives a look of concern. While she had thought she had what she desired, cocoa is not what she had expected. She ordered her remaining servants to go after the man, but it was too late. He was gone, just as his machine was. All that remained of him was a note he left with the peasant he had previously met. A guard took the note and brought it to the Queen who read what seemed to be the final surprise. The note had said, “If you think that cake was a load of shit, just wait until you find out how you die! Love, A.T.” The Queen orders her best men to look for the man but he is nowhere to be found.