The Top 5 Tea, Ultimate Rankings

I am the King of all Tea. My taste reigns supreme and here is my top 5 tea that every man, woman, alien, and elf must drink.

Credentials: - Tea Conniseuer, HOT certified, 12+ years.

- Russian and Georgian roots, predisposed to appreciate, market, and accept tea as my crutch and soul.

Disclaimer: I highly recommend a glass teapot to steep and brew your tea.

1. Earl Grey: the top-tier, godly, all-encompassing flavourful tea. The hints of lavender that is sometimes invested into it, the range of decaf to caffeinated, or simply the perfect pairing with lemon makes this the number 1 tea in the world. There is simply no contest here people. It pairs with pastries, snacks of all kind, and even is sufficient on it's lonesome. And yes, you must steep this for a long time, otherwise you're admitting your faults in will and determination.

Best brand: Monoprix Earl Grey with Lavender

2. Matcha: This takes the number 2 spot, simply because it can get quite pricey and is difficult to find good quality stuff. It's extremely healthy, loaded with antioxidants, and helps with mental clarity and cortisol levels. Its harder to pair foods with, but pastries, especially Japanese ones, go wonderfully here. It requires a little skill to prepare well, with the bamboo whisks (chasen), and getting the temperature right, but, once perfected (which shouldn't take longer than 2 attempts for anyone with triple digit IQ), you will enjoy great tea and tea-lattes.

Best brand: Ippodo Umon Matcha

3. Hibiscus: Rounding up the top 3 is hibiscus. This is a fantastic option if you want decaf and a healthy alternative to juices and refreshing beverages. You can drink it hot or let it cool to enjoy a nice iced drink (even pairing it with some liquor of your choosing for a fun little mimosa). Hibiscus can certainly range to expensive tastes, but even cheap versions taste amazing, and are great to have laying around in the kitchen for a quick drink of something sweet and flavourful. Very versatile and I recommend adding berries into it as a compote-like tea.

Best brand: Republic of Tea: Hibiscus and Blueberry

4. English Breakfast: This is a close cousin to the Earl Grey tea. It honestly can be mistaken by some amatuer tea folk, especially if not steeped for long enough for the flavours to allow to sink through. Its not as aromatic as Earl Grey, but pairs with everything mentioned earlier with #1. It tends to be much cheaper and so the quality here isn't a big concern. Buy this in bulk at Costco or Amazon and you'll satisfy yourself for a quick pick-me-up. Solid tea, let's give it number 4, shall we.

Best brand: Ahmad English Breakfast

5. Flower Tea: This is the ultimate party piece. Having a tea party? Trying to impress your cats? Use this flowering blooming tea. Its a dried up ball, but soon as you water it with hot water, it blooms right before your eyes; and once its steeped, it unravels and becomes quite large. I received some from a French girl earlier this year and let me tell you guys, I went through the three flower balls within a day. Definitely recommend to finish it within the hour, otherwise it becomes quite a strong and bitter taste from oversteeping. Sadly, you can't remove the flower until you've finished the batch you made, because why else would you brew this if you didn't wanna look at it?

Best brand: Teambloom Flowering Tea

End of rant. Remember, this is objective, I tell no lies.