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The DMV Breakfast sandwich.

Another easy, cheesy recipe.

By Nefarious DarriusPublished 7 months ago 4 min read
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28SEP2023; 2222, THU– Virginia, USA

Over 90 days since my last piece is plenty long enough of a hiatus; if I may be so audacious. That being the case, I'm finna jackknife into swan dive of a cannonball.

First and foremost, I titled the grub, "The DMV Breakfast Sandwich" because the main seasoning and condiment are patent staples of almost every single kitchen in the National Capital Region (aka the DC, MD, VA area). That is to say some Old Bay and a bit of Mambo (pronounced "Mumbo" [rhymes with Dumbo {the flying elephant}]) sauce.

Without further ado; and here's to you, the reader–

Before I get to the several other ingredients of this simple and plain recipe, I'm figuring why not speak on the required materials? Those being, of course:

1.) A stovetop; or something to cook with. Preferably something capable of upholding a large skillet; or frying pan.

2.) A large saucepan; aka frying pan, or skillet. Be advised, some people believe that a proper skillet has to be well used before being apt to properly be considered an opportune cooking fixture.

3.) Spatula for flipping the food in the pan. Unless, of course, one just fully intends to do an air flip of some sort.

4.) Optional, completely– A toaster; a butter knife; and a plate. The bread can potentially be heated up in, as well as be munched up on, out of the skillet.

Also, depending on the type of spatula, it can be used in place of the butter knife for cutting the sandwich in half; as well as splitting the butter, which is a major component of this recipe.

***

Full list of ingredients are as follows:

1.) Butter; or margarine. For greasing the pan, softening the toast, and/or just avoiding serial killer status in general.

Seriously tho, who in their right mind makes either or without some type of "greaser"? Only those who prey upon innocent pineapples; that are expressly intended for anything save pizza pies.

I jest; unless... May the infamous debate live on; til Father Time himself concisely declares otherwise, of course.

2.) Eggs; of practically any and every variety. Be they whites; free range organic; or plain old large, grade A pasteurized eggs.

Egg substitute is completely and utterly acceptable as well. It's arguably worthy of an ever so slight side eye; almost kind of sort of but not really.

3.) Toast. Whether it's referred to as "naan"; "pan"; and/or just plain as day bread.

4.) Shredded cheese. I prefer the sharp cheddar variety; tho, of course, the options are endless.

5.) Old Bay seasoning; as previously mentioned. Almost any grocery store in a 200 mile radius of the nation's most heavily guarded Swampland will carry this particular item.

6.) Mambo sauce; the very same aforementioned as well. Can be purchased and ordered from online; if one is too precautious to enter the premises of said precarious Swamp proper.

As the song goes, "'DC' means 'Don't Come!'" As the local colloquialism goes, "Stamp that, Moe; on everything."

7.) Optional, tho highly recommended, some sort of vegetation. I didn't do so this go round; tho, my ideal would be to place some organic, local grown spinach on the sandwich.

In order to balance out the saturated fats; high sodium content; and/or general nutritional value of the sandwich.

***

The instructions are too simple to list at the moment; especially considering that my phones and watch all have an alarm going off at 0333. Additionally, there's at least 33T (trillion [33,000,000,000,000]) other blogs describing in detail the immense simplicity of making a simple breakfast sandwich.

And with that, I bid you ado; and sing tootle-loo. Peace; blessings; and no types of dressing.

All seriousness: Be blessed; stay blessed; and be a blessing. One Love.

***

***

Prayerfully, you gained something pertinent (re: useful) from this post. If so, then please think about considering a show of support; however you may see fit.

Additionally, I'm easily reachable via Twitter. That's for private and/or public convos on the works written by me, my fav writers, as well as my other influences too.

The link in my bio will "counterintuitively" have that unmistakable tab in its main menu. Invariably, there's a tab in the very same menu cyclically returning you to my profile on this unfathomably superb site for writers.

Shoutout to all Vocal's inventors/staff/readers/writers. "[Y'all] the real MVP."

Lastly, if you're in the market for an incredulously original article of clothing or such: There's copious amounts at the link in my bio. Please don't believe for a NY minute that I'll be even remotely unappreciative of any all who "look out for the cookout".

***

healthyvegetariantravelrecipehumanitydiycuisine
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About the Creator

Nefarious Darrius

I'm a Grunt who’s been stuck in traffic for the past few decades or so. From DC to Seattle & Iraq; to back in "The Swamp". Also, I Love my Progeny more than life. Born Day: 4/20. Lastly, my apparel brand, War 'N' Tees is live! One Love.

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