Emotional Intelligence in Motherhood

Motherhood

Monsters linger among us. As mothers, we do our best to protect our little ones from the evil lurking in society's shadows. We do everything we can to protect our sons and daughters from people immersed in a thick layer of schadenfreude. So why wouldn't we do absolutely everything we can to protect them from the trauma we have endured as children?

There's a lot that goes into being a mother. We are the first ones up at the ass crack of dawn and the last ones down at the silence of the night. We are responsible for these precious tiny humans. For nine months, we endure great pain only to end up with life's most precious gift. Motherhood is scary, it's trifling at times, lol, but in the end, it is always the most rewarding feeling to protect the life you created. The feeling of holding your warm, soft little baby for the first time is hard to explicate. The immense joy that washes over you is breathtaking. In that very second, we vow to protect our babies. We promise to raise strong, intelligent, kind children that will rule the world. These vows are everlasting. But we are human.

We, as women, had these vast, exciting lives before our kids came. We could go out. Let me tell you, I didn't have to pee with a toddler sitting on my lap. I could see my friends when I wanted to. Hell, I actually had friends. We all had different things we enjoyed, free of breastmilk stains, temper tantrums, and sleepless nights. As wild as it sounds, we wouldn't trade it for the world. It gets complicated, though, because while we have these new beautiful babies, we also have traumas that affected our lives before our little one were even thought of. Raising your emotional intelligence is imperative to establish a blanket of understanding between you and your child.

Emotional Intelligence

What is emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence is something that, when high, can create a much safer space mentally for the people we love, our friends, and our neighbors. Emotional intelligence consists of cultivating self-control, interpreting the emotions of the people in our lives and those that sit heavy in our chests and adapting to having immense empathy for those around us. This consists of having a less reactive way of thinking and responding in more productive ways. When we work to instill growth within ourselves, raising our children to use these methods to remain emotionally sound and efficiently communicate their wants and needs become effortless.

Children have such huge emotions that they can't continuously regulate. They throw these fits because when these huge reactions come from their tiny little bodies, and they throw themselves on the floor or stomp their feet, we, in turn, throw a tantrum in hopes of making them stop. Sometimes we are so overstimulated that we yell at our little ones. Sometimes situations from our pasts affect our level of emotional intelligence. Whether good or bad, what we have learned and endured as children, can sometimes trickle into our parenting. The bad, though, always has room for growth. Raising your emotional intelligence can play an essential role in that growth.

Three Key Skills to Grow Emotional Intelligence in Motherhood

Fostering skills like self-regulation, self-awareness, empathy, the ability to see how our decisions affect us and others, and conflict resolution. All of these skills can give us the tools that can make our bonds with our children stronger. We can pass them these same tools to help them regulate their emotions and make positive life decisions.

Self Regulation

Self-regulation is the ability to face the storm, crush your goals, deal with the ups and downs, control impulsive decisions, and remain positive. Self-regulation turns your emotions into stepping stones leading toward your goals. Maintaining this outlook on life and modeling how important it is to smile through a hard time is an important lesson we can teach our children. We can teach them that it is okay to cry, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Instilling this comfort in our babies can build them to be young adults who can emotionally regulate their lives in a positive way.

Empathy

Deciphering the emotions of those around us is imperative in parenting. If we show our children that we understand them, that we have been there, and that their feelings are valid and heard, our kids will feel safe being honest and open with us. Putting ourselves in our children's shoes can give them the confidence to come to us when they truly need us.

Self-Care

We have such a drastic amount of responsibilites when it comes to raising children in a world that has transformed into a dumpster fire. We hear horror stories in the news everyday about people doing insanse things and we worry for our babies. We spend so much time worrying and wondering, that we rarely make time to actually care for ourselves. It is so important to make that part of our lives a neccesity.

It feels so rewarding to take care of our families, but there are times where it becomes draining. Taking time to truly care for ourselves and work on how we can grow is so important to model for our little ones as well.

Ways to Implement Self-Care Into Your Life

• Yoga
• Journaling ( I highly recommend purchasing journals byMonice Sweeny, it'll really put it all into perpsective)
• Take A Bath
• Meditate
• Go into nature
• Reward yourself for the goals that you crush!
• Sing at the top of your fricking lungs!
• Set personal growth goals

We as mothers owe our children as much peace as this world allows. If we work on growth within ourselves we can cultivate a growth within our babies. Working on raising emotional intelligence is crucial to sustain a better foundation for, alongside a better understanding of, our children. These littles are the future! Let's teach them emotional peace.