I Stopped Going to the Gym Because I Attracted Unwanted Attention

I've never been the most social person, so when I joined the gym, I made sure I had a good pair of earphones. I also wore baggy clothing and went without makeup because I wanted to be comfortable when I worked out. I was almost embarrassed by how unattractive I looked at the gym, but I still got unwanted attention while I was there.

During the first week of my gym-going journey, I noticed a man turning around on his treadmill to look at me. He didn't just do it to me, he did it to every woman at the gym, and eventually, someone reported him. Luckily, the gym took it seriously, and he disappeared shortly after I joined. I thought that was going to be the last time I experienced something like that at the gym, but it wasn't.

I would sometimes have men stop what they were doing to show me a better way to work out or show me a different way to use the machines. Some of them claimed to be personal trainers and offered to train me for free, but I always politely declined. Their behavior bothered me, but not enough to make me stop going to the gym.

The only time I ever got staff involved was when I noticed a man following me around the gym. I thought he was just in the same room as me at first, but he was trying to get my attention. I didn't go to the gym to talk, so I walked into the next room hoping that he'd realize that I wasn't interested. He followed me and reached for my shoulder, so I went to the front desk and told them what was going on. I left while they were talking to him, hoping that he didn't follow me. I never saw him again either.

I moved to a new city and transferred my gym membership. The gym may have had the same name as the other, but it was more relaxed than the previous gym. It allowed the members to bring workout equipment from home and do whatever they wanted with it. There were a handful of times that I had to stop my work out because someone using ribbons or jump rope would get in my way. I'm not sure if anyone ever complained about this behavior, but the people working at the desk addressed nothing. There were long periods when there was no one at the desk to scan my card or check me in.

Despite my few issues with the gym, I still loved working out. I even had a membership that allowed me to bring a guest with me, which I often did. During one of my visits to the gym, I went with my sister, and she pointed out an older man who was trying to get our attention. He called us names like sweetheart and darling and tried to use his 'grandfatherly charm' to get us to talk to him. He didn't care that he was interrupting our workout, or that we had to take our earpieces out to talk to him. I had to visit the gym at different times to avoid him because he did this every time we worked out.

If I worked out at night, I could usually avoid him, but my schedule didn't always permit me to work out that late. Unfortunately, there were still times when I saw the man at the gym. He seemed to become more aggressive, staring at my backside and blowing kisses at me and my sister. She refused to go to the gym with me because it became too hard to dodge him.

I stopped using the bike machine because he would sit next to me and reach over to touch me. He started using the treadmill near mine as well, so I stopped using that too. The only machines he seemed to leave alone were the arc and the Stairmaster, so that became all my workout consisted of.

Soon, I realized he was taking away the enjoyment I had for the gym, and I stopped going. I paid for my membership for over a month without going because I couldn't deal with being bothered by him. The day I finally went back, I cringed when I saw him there. He was staring at a woman's backside when I got on a treadmill. I thought since he'd found her, that he'd leave me alone. Instead, he turned around and blew kisses at me.

I sat down and talked to the gym staff about the issue I was having. They made note of it and told me that the gym manager would be in touch. The gym manager called me later that day, but he didn't care about the negative experience I'd had. He even told me that the man had been going to the gym since it opened, so he wasn't going to tell him anything. He even admitted that the man had other complaints, but that's just how he was, and I'd have to get used to it if I wanted to keep working out in that gym.

I asked him why he did nothing about the complaints, and he said that he didn't want to make the man uncomfortable. I realized the manager didn't care about keeping me as a member, so I began fighting to cancel my membership. The manager didn't make it easy for me, even trying to charge me for the remainder of the year, but I canceled my membership. It disappointed me to lose something that I cared about, but not enough to risk my safety.

After I stopped going to the gym, I took a job at a local sporting goods store. My direct manager used to pick on one of my coworkers. When I asked him why he picked on him so much, he claimed they used to be friends and they used to go to the gym together to look for women. He claimed his friend used to chicken out when it came time to talk to the women.

I responded to his story by telling him those women probably weren't interested in talking to either of them, anyway. I followed up by informing him that the gym is a place to work out and that many women felt uncomfortable when approached by strangers in the gym.

His response was to tell me it didn't matter because he was married now, and he wasn't doing that anymore. He claimed it was hard to meet women before the invention of dating apps. He didn't care that he made those women uncomfortable, because he claimed he was young, and the gym was a place to meet women who cared about their appearance. He didn't care about how he'd made those women feel.

My experience is the same as that of many other women. I've even encountered a woman who stopped going to the gym because of the same man. I plan to go to the gym again soon, but this time I'm going to choose my gym more carefully. Before I put myself in this situation again, I will read the reviews and see what other members have to say.