I am an 18 year old Y/A so the world to me is a very strange place right now I am still learning, experiencing and discovering new aspects of life so maybe with me you can once again see the world differently.
An empty house.
You must have heard this saying that houses are mere walls of bricks which is complimented by people and feelings for it to become a home. Ohh I truly agree , homes reflect peace and happiness and comfort . A place where you are provided with warmth and most importantly a place where you feel loved and heard. A very beautiful tale I hold within that I would like to share - there was this girl and boy who met each other on a random day somewhere and ohh my angel's sake they fell in love and in sometime decided that wanted to build a home of their own . They made it with lots of emotions and decorated it with moments. In the process of making the boy brought safety and assurance while the girl brought lots of love and peace. and when the house was done building they claimed it their home . The home had lots of rooms in one room they locked away their thinking processes which were dangerously different and in one room they kept memories of the first meeting and their first conversation. In another room love resided, lots of love . I won't say all days were sweet like sugar somedays when the room of ideologies was unlocked they would fight and debate but how does it even matter, at the end they had each other to look at and smile.
If you are a giver.
We are often stressed by the fact that if we run out of the thing we have if we do not stop giving them but what if I tell you that you can never run of out kindness and love even if the whole world try to steal it from you cause at times God assigns roles to humans. and think it like this you have been assigned the role of a giver and so you spread love cause you have it in abundance and especially to those who lack it. sometimes just sometimes we regret oh why we poured from our cups ? because our cup was full and their cup was empty.
Just sometimes back I was thinking how as kids we used to make stories and stated them as facts , I would talk about fairies making rounds around me and bunnies giving me chocolates how that small tent would become my whole world and just a book of pictures would take me to another world. It has all been so easy to twist the fiction into facts and make it our reality . Among all of this we grew up and today when we really have a lot to say and scream we press our eyes close and clench our fists , we are able to hold the truth and tell it in a form of story so that we aren't caught. You get my point? The way I tell tales scares me cause I am often addressing the harsh truth. May be I am not a very good story teller rather a better liar , someone who can play with words and maybe I make fool out of this world by presenting it that way.
In the mirror.
Mirrors have always been a reflection of ''what we are'' but they tell nothing about ''who we are'' to me personally which is the whole point of our existence. who are we from inside . I wish the mirror could tell how much sadness resided inside us , the happiness we have, the doubts that often makes our chest pain, the kindness that keeps us alive , this all can't be seen. So now that it has been months to the event that took my being away for a while , I feel ready to talk about it now , that I have gotten over it . In those months the mirror was my biggest rival cause whenever I used to look in it only the face felt familiar the hair and lips the nose too but the eyes! I would keep searching for the spark , the smile , the soul everything in me but the mirror just couldn't be the way. I stopped looking in the mirror , my pride was lying in the dirt and so I couldn't look up, for sometimes all of me lost . As a person you can afford losing everything but not oneself.
we often misinterpret pain.
So sometimes back I sat down to reflect back on the past months I had in my life a bit unsettling and uncomfortable . I had to go through the cycles of intrapersonal changes and had to leave a lot behind that I carried since sometime and every time I was in pain I would look-up at the sky and whisper -why God why me? I haven't done anything wrong to anyone my whole life so why you chose me? but somehow I would make it to another day. Days went by and I analysed some things very strongly.
The old toys.
I remember as a kid I was really possessive of my toys . I used to take care of them and would take them to sleep with me. I poured too much love till my parents used to buy me a new toy. Now my mother would put all my old toys in a carboard box and keep it aside . And after some time I would forget about it and would be busy playing with new one. I have a fade memory that one day my mother took out those toys and were talking about giving them away to some kids ,I overheard the conversation and ran towards the storeroom to grab all of those . My mother asked me why would you want to keep these old toys you no longer want? I haven't seen you playing with them since a while nor I have heard you say anything about them. I screamed ok I may not be playing but I won't let any other kid to play with them either. Now when I think it was such an act of selfishness , Although my mother later on without telling me gave those toys away. I wish she had taught me how important it is to let go of the old things .I learned this know-how but it took some time.
The next season of life.
There is something so special about the air around June . kind of feel familiar yet gives a feeling of new start. Every year in june something good comes by and I manifest thus energy so very deeply this time too.. So ,I left a lot behind last month all the weight of worries and hopes , I let lose of everything and took a sigh of relief . On 1st june my morning coffee actually tasted better than before and after a long time I woke up smiling in the morning. Sounds weird? to me too. Sometimes we carry the weight of the things we even don't know exists and so without consciously knowing we bag it around as grave lines on our forehead and maybe shiver in our hands. Let june be the month where you flip the page of your life and move onto the next chapter . There are so many characters of your story that you have yet to meet . Maybe your ownself in a different phase. Welcome it all with open hands and with this welcome the month of June my long lost friend. Be kind to me !
The little girl Inside.
Good old days of summers and cold winds , when we were on our own happy and full . Ok time has its way the tables took a turn and we out -grew what we were and its such an evident fact that we all grow up, in some way be it physically , mentally , spiritually and emotionally , holistically I would say we evolve and just become into the beautiful person that we are but I feel like there is always a small stubborn part of us that just refuses to leave our side and people often say its the inner child. A persona who gets upset when somethings are not the way we want and gets afraid when someone walks away. That inner hidden self scooches the deepest fear of a child that is being left alone in the dark and cold. But there are times when it happens , the most familiar leaves your side . So you go into self analyzation and believe that someone left cause I was never enough I am incapable, the kids at the school never wanted to be friends with me and how I used to eat my lunch by myself. They made fun of your darkest insecurities and you just sit there being void and motionless. Now although you have overcome the things you never liked about yourself but there are certain wounds and scars that are always left in some corner your pumping heart. You feel like those scars that were gone have been scratched again and you bleed. Through tears , you start telling yourself again how you are not good enough.
The power of manifestation.
We have often heard this saying that- you are what you eat and eventually it leads to your overall well being. Likewise- you are what you read which eventually leads to how you appear to others and a very recent addition have been which is- you are what you see. And by this I do not mean the objects that we seek with are outer eye. It is something that we visualize through our minds eye. We can call it the third eye or sixth sense to be precise and this eventually leads to what you want to become. In a much fancied way we can term it as manifestation. Manifestation is a powerful tool that can help individuals achieve abundance in their lives. Abundance can take many forms, including financial wealth, emotional well-being, fulfilling relationships, and personal growth. By harnessing the power of manifestation, individuals can transform their thoughts and beliefs into reality, opening the doors to greater abundance. Manifestation is based on the principle that our thoughts and beliefs create our reality. Our thoughts are energy, and the universe responds to this energy by providing us with experiences that match our thoughts and beliefs. When we focus our thoughts and beliefs on positive outcomes, we create a positive vibration that attracts abundance into our lives. To begin manifesting abundance, it is important to identify what you want to manifest. This can be a specific goal, such as a certain amount of money or a fulfilling relationship, or a more general desire, such as greater happiness or personal growth. Once you have identified your desire, it is important to focus your thoughts and beliefs on it. This means visualizing your desire as already being fulfilled, and feeling the emotions associated with that fulfillment. To help facilitate manifestation, many individuals use affirmations and visualization techniques. Affirmations are positive statements that affirm the reality of your desired outcome. For example, "I am abundant in all areas of my life" or "I attract prosperity and abundance effortlessly." Visualization involves creating a mental image of your desired outcome, and imagining yourself already experiencing it. This can help to create a positive vibration that attracts abundance into your life. In addition to affirmations and visualization, it is important to cultivate a positive mindset and belief system. This means letting go of limiting beliefs and negative self-talk, and focusing on the positive aspects of your life. It also means cultivating gratitude for what you already have, which can help to attract more abundance into your life. Another important aspect of manifestation is taking action towards your desired outcome. This means setting goals and taking steps towards achieving them. While manifestation can help to attract abundance into your life, it is important to take responsibility for your actions and to work towards your goals. In conclusion, manifestation is powerful tools that can help individuals achieve abundance in their lives. By focusing your thoughts and beliefs on positive outcomes, and using techniques such as affirmations and visualization, you can attract abundance into your life. It is important to cultivate a positive mindset, let go of limiting beliefs, and take action towards your desired outcome. With practice and dedication, manifestation can help you to create the life that you have always desire.
The state of mind.
Our mind is truely the scariest place of all. Its certainly small ,an unseen part of ourselves but oh how it controls us . How it can control everything around us and we often underestimate the power of our consious,subconsious and unconscious and superconscious mind. Lets assume that our head has a world of its own , where it mismatches the stories and events and the people according to the emotions we feel and the fun part is even the emotions our controlled by our mind . Every tear that run down our cheek and every smile that slips from the corner our lips , All of it is well planned and controlled . Many books you may read , many theories you may analyze but unless you feel it happen in your life you won't realise that it is actually there. A bit story time - so in past like two years back I was petrified of animals In fact any living thing other than humans , I was afraid of . Whenever someone would bring any animal close to me like rabbit , cat , puppy anything I would scream and cry and there were shivers down my spine . I told myself i was zoophobia ( fear of animals). Even my parents were convinced that there was something off ,cause every other child was able to play with kittens and pugs while I would shrink to my own place and would turn white even on the thought of them.
My castle of sand.
As a child I used to go on a beach and sit by the sea side , imagining what a beautiful sand castle can look like . Then I would built it with the help of the sand and water and in a hope that it would turn out the prettiest. Hope was the main ingredient in all my castles. Then the sun would set and the waves used to reach nearer to my sand castle but I would worry seldom cause I knew I will make a new and prettier one the next time. and just like my foot prints were washed away eventually the castle would break into sand too. I would turn around and smile while watching it go away. In all of this life went on and I grew- up but I never stopped making a sand castle . This sand castle of mine had different rooms for different emotions . In the biggest room of all lived happiness and the in smallest room resided the sadness. That's how it has always been but as the time passed a bit more the biggest room was occupied by the doubts and the joy would roam seldom in the galleries of the castle.