Reed Alexander
Founding member
Bio
I'm a horror author and foulmouthed critic of all things horror. New reviews posted every Monday.
@ReedsHorror on TikTok, Threads, Instagram, YouTube, and Mastodon.
Check out my books on Godless: https://godless.com/products/reed-alexander
Stories (309/0)
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Late Night with the Devil (2024)
When I say this movie went all in on the 70's theme, I mean at the cost of the plot. Even the practical FX are something you would expect out of a 70's horror movie. Even weirder, the movie feels like watching an episode of The Price Is Right. This really makes the movie seem profoundly absurd. Here's the thing though, it's why the movie is so damn good... I mean, don't get me wrong, it's actually quite bad, but in a really good way.
By Reed Alexander3 days ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Friday the 13th' the franchise.
I'm gonna defend this fucking movie... Yes, this franchise eventually gave us Jason in Space (2002). But it's an old-fashioned slasher flick that really is underappreciated for what it was. Because the first in the series was actually well thought out, and even pretty solid by modern horror standards.
By Reed Alexander18 days ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'From Beyond' (1986)
This movie is one shameless excuse to see Barbara Crampton with her tits out after the next. Not that I mind. She was and still is super fucking hot and for twelve-year-old Horror Head, little me, any excuse to see tiddie was all I needed. This movie is basically a single X porno. It's practically acted like a single X porno. But it was tentacle porn before tentacle porn came to America. Mind you, the earliest tentacle porn movie was 1985, so it'd be a while before it came to America. So this is the shit weirdos used to spank it too before hentai.
By Reed Alexander24 days ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Vamp' (1986)
Some of you might not be old enough to remember this, but there used to be a network on basic cable called USA. They had a schedule that started sometime after midnight called USA Up All Night. During this period they would play single X pornos that had been edited to just barely skim passed the censors for basic cable. They'd crop scenes to cut out the tiddies, or cut parts of the scene to cut out the tiddies. It was pretty awesome if you were a post-pubescent teen looking for a midnight wank. But you'd also get to see some pretty fun 'so bad it's good' horror that was basically a single X porno. And there was pretty much no other place for young kids to watch this shit because it would otherwise be behind the red curtain at the local video rental (the red curtain was to hide the room with the pornos rentals).
By Reed Alexander2 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Necrosis' (2009)
SPOILERS!!! Oh yeah, it's that bad. We're starting with the spoilers. Now, to be fair, it is Good-Bad or "So Bad It's Good." In fact, this was the movie I was promised when I originally heard reviews about The Sand (2015). That movie was actually unfairly maligned, because, yeah it was low budget, yeah it had bad acting, yeah it had shit CGI, but for the most part it was good enough for horror, and even pretty smart. This movie is what I expect when people say "So Bad It's Good." So if you're looking for good riffing material, watch this, not The Sand. The Sand isn't actually all that bad.
By Reed Alexander2 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'No One Will Save You' (2023)
You know what was super neat about this movie? It takes place in modern times. It's hard to tell at first but then you see the main character has a flat-screen TV and a c.a. 2010's Subaru. But for the most part, the setting is pretty old fashioned. Rotary phone, old appliances, c.a. 70's garments; the kind of thing that gives the movie a retro feel. It's kinda like It Follows (2014), how the setting is 70's but they have modern things like cellphones. It actually gives the movie a feel kinda like Pearl (2022). It feels very Pleasant Valley Sunday. Like a 1950's sitcom, not a horror movie. The setting gives it sorta a zany vibe. It really makes the atmosphere tangible and interesting. It also gives the movie a much more creepy feel than it might have in a modern setting like Dark Skies (2013). Old stuff is just creepy and it really helps the atmosphere.
By Reed Alexander2 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Prince of Darkness' (1987)
Cosmic Horror developed from the idea that there are measurable forces, tangible entities, and connected realities, all of which are scientifically feasible. This actually has been a bit of an issue with horror in general. There really isn't a need to have tangibility in horror. Why does Michael Myers keep getting back up? Is it some mystical force? Sure! It could be anything. It could be demons, the spirit of Samhain, evil incarnate, whatever. It honestly doesn't always need an explanation. That was my critique of The Hallow (2015). Sometimes scientific plausibility kills the mood of horror.
By Reed Alexander3 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Man-Thing' (2005)
So, I should start off by saying, this movie was released a full three years before the MCU really took root with Iron Man (2008). It seems like they were exploring concepts and how seriously fans might take the material pulled from the comics. I guess they figured it couldn't hurt to throw Man-Thing on the table just to see how it would be received. But this movie never got any spotlight. I mean, Man-Thing is one of my favorite Marvel Creations and I heard nothing about this movie. I didn't even know it existed until the day before this review. It's like Marvel's dirty little secret, and I can tell you why. It's BAAAAAAAAD. Ho-Ly-Fuck is it BAD. It's like a series of laughable tropes strung together in such a way you'd think a 12yo wrote it. It's kinda like Frankensein's Army (2013). That movie was like if 12yo me was given the clearance to write a script for a movie, and this movie was no different.
By Reed Alexander3 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Guns Akimbo' (2019)
On the surface, this movie sounded like a blast. Some random shmuck gets two guns bolted to his hands and is forced to take place in an illegal city-wide man-hunt that is streamed live on the web. That just sounds fucking fantastic, but it was genuinely kinda boring and a little forced. Movies like this come from a long line of ultraviolent action movies that are so nuts they're a wild ride. Hardcore Henry (2015), Smoking Aces (2006), Hell Fire (2015); action with a bizzaro feel that makes them closer to movies like John Dies at the End (2012). We're not talking about cinema gold, we're talking about movies that are violent for the sake of being violent. So if you fuck up a plot that simple, it's pretty bad.
By Reed Alexander3 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Godzilla Minus One' (2023)
Godzilla was always supposed to be scary. The original Godzilla (1954) terrified people but today, Godzilla is synonymous with actors wrestling in rubber monster suits. When my father told me the original Godzilla scared the shit out of him as a kid, it seemed silly to me until I really thought about it. Godzilla is a metaphor for the atomic bomb. A huge, unstoppable, radioactive, walking disaster, reflected the powerlessness the Japanese people felt from the advent of the atomic bomb. Imagine being a person confronted by something so massive and unstoppable. All you can do is run and it might not make any difference. Godzilla isn't even trying to kill people, per se, it's just the outcome of its very existence. By simply existing it causes destruction and chaos. I talked about this a little bit in my review of Cloverfield (2008). We'd lost sight of what giant monsters are supposed to be about with the entire Kaiju Genre.
By Reed Alexander3 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Escape from New York' (1981)
Can we please talk about the fact that the first half of this cult classic is essentially Kurt Russell just walking around looking cool? And you know what's fucking dumb about that? That is the perfect embodiment of the Action Hero Trope throughout the history of the Action Genre. Literally, just the hero looking cool. Everything the hero does, HE HAS TO LOOK COOL. Not just cool, but fucking cool, a blown-out caricature of what a hyperactive, fifteen year old boy thinks is cool. I argue no one has ever done it better than Kurt Russell's Snake Plissken. I mean, at one fucking point he sits down in a lawn chair and just sits there looking cool. So, technically, that means the acting is superb because it's the right kind of perfectly fucking hammy.
By Reed Alexander4 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Boarderlands' (2013)
Can I just start off by saying the Shakey Camera style of filming was completely un-fucking-necessary? Imagine the money they wasted on crappy webcams and headsets when they could have just had one or two cameras shooting the whole film. And there were basically no other FX outside of the cinematography so why did they need it? Are filters and lighting honestly so expensive that an indie film would rather burn money on a gimmick? In my review of Alien Abduction (2014), I explain when Shakey Camera is appropriate and in my review of The Taking of Debora Logan (2014) (TDL), I explain when it's not. It boils down to this. Was it necessary because you couldn't afford to make the practical FX look good, or was it necessary because you had no talent for creating atmosphere? In this case, how hard would it be to make such a beautiful set look good with filters and lighting? Again, there were really no practical FX to hide with the Shakey Camera so why go that rout?
By Reed Alexander4 months ago in Horror