Reed Alexander
Bio
I'm a horror author and foulmouthed critic of all things horror. New reviews posted every Monday.
@ReedsHorror on TikTok, Threads, Instagram, YouTube, and Mastodon.
Check out my books on Godless: https://godless.com/products/reed-alexander
Stories (309/0)
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'NOPE' (2022)
There are three distinct kinds of horror in this movie. One of them I'm not sure needed to be in there, but I'll talk about that later. For the most part, this starts out as your typical Alien Abduction Horror movie. Strange goings on, near encounters, unexplainable events, the typical sort, and from there, it changes into something very different I can't get into without spoiling the movie. In fact, I won't even get into it in the spoilers because I don't need to for this review, and I don't want to spoil what is actually a very fun film.
By Reed Alexander10 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Nocebo' (2022)
Man, this movie could shake you. It is a powerful folk tale about one person's punishment. First off, let's just talk about how fucking fascinating the Filipino folk traditions in this movie are. Now, I have NO idea how accurate they are, but my wife did confirm some one the ones she recognized. All the same, other culture's take on horror is just so facinating. I just wanna know what scares people and really dissect it.
By Reed Alexander10 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Dog Soldiers' (2002)
Why the fuck does this movie look like it was shot in the 80s? Was it intentional? Was the budget so low that they shot on fucking VHS camcorders? Should I treat this movie like a shoe stringer? The cinematography just isn't very good. It's almost 'shakey camera' bad. Not as bad as The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014), but honestly pretty bad. Now, it kinda helps the atmosphere. You can't quite ever see what's going on, so it helps shroud the rubber monsters in shadow and gives them a nice effect. However, it also makes the movie bloody difficult to watch. It's a bit of an eye strain just to see what's going on. The presentation frankly isn't very good.
By Reed Alexander10 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Brooklyn 45' (2023)
SPOILERS!!! I'm not going to COMPLETELY pan this movie, but it's got no teeth. There was some heavy, good meat on the plot, but the movie took a nibble and left the rest. There was SO much to work with and they did nothing with it.
By Reed Alexander11 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The People Under the Stairs' (1991)
Here's a fantastic horror movie from my childhood that had an attitude like Don't Kill It (2016), wherein the tone of the movie switches gears a lot. However, this movie was the first to do it and that should be no surprise from the mind of Wes Craven, the guy who gave us a pun-slinging joker who was also a child-murdering dream demon. So, for the most part, this movie is a little tongue and cheek, even kinda slapstick, but then all of a sudden it goes fucking HARD. We're talking about a movie that has R-rated Home Alone (1990) vibes but then also has triggery as fuck, hardcore child abuse. Like, hold nothing back, violent child abuse. It's sorta stunning to sit through and definitely not for the weak of stomach. So, if we define this movie as sort of a horror comedy, it's definitely one that leans on the horror element HARD, and I mean sandpaper dildo with no lube, HARD.
By Reed Alexander11 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Predator' (2018)
This movie was so fucking Disney, I'm surprised The Predator didn't break out into song and dance routine. This was so fucking Disney, I'm pretty sure it's a rated R extension of the MCU. Seriously, this movie had the tone of a campy superhero movie, just with lots of blood. It had wacky characters, slapstick humor, good bad guys, a plucky kid genius. I mean, does this sound like a fucking Predator movie?
By Reed Alexander11 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Hellhole' (2020)
Fucking movie is a cock tease. Just when it was getting good it left me feeling disappointed. I obviously can't talk about it without going into the spoilers, but I feel super let down. I was so let down it almost ruined the movie for me. I guess the rest is good enough that it was still worth it, but I definitely won't ever bother watching this again. So yeah, before we get into the meat and tatters, this movie was worth at least one go. If you're a fan of horror, give this a shot.
By Reed Alexander11 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Jeepers Creepers: Reborn' (2022)
I was told that pedo Victor Salva didn't have his grubby little hands all over this extension of the franchise. I was lied to. That fucking greasy pedo still owns the IP and gets royalties. So, before we get any further, don't watch this movie. Salva doesn't deserve a dime of your money. There's nothing in this movie that makes it worth compromising your dignity. Fucking Salva is like the Harvey Weinstein of horror. I can't tell if it's ironic that he named his monster 'The Creeper' or if it's completely on brand for him. But yeah, fuck Salva and fuck this movie, don't watch it. If you REALLY want to know what this movie is about, read my review instead...
By Reed Alexander12 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Anthropophagus' (1980)
So, it's important going into this review that 1980's Italian Cinima was basically the same as 1970's American Cinima... by that I mean BAD. And I mean BAD. But there are certain nuances that I feel are important to explain why they're bad. Something I talked about in my review of Suspiria (1977), is that the weird acting and campy tone is very intentional. That's what was normal for films at the time. Remember, movie acting was still very much being treated like stage acting so what we know as cinema from the 80s hadn't developed or caught on yet.
By Reed Alexander12 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Eve Is Dead' (2023)
Eve Is Dead (2023). An independent amateur film by Rob Silver of Team Manticore. So, going into this, my review has been scaled down to meet my expectations of a student film. When you have a production of this quality we expect mistakes to be made. The question is, are those mistakes acceptable?
By Reed Alexander12 months ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'It' Chapters 1 & 2 (2017 & (2019)
Man, this movie was such a fucking cock tease. We all just wanted to get to the ending and really see the big creature reveal. The original went all in and it was pretty good for the 90's. We wanted that again and I have to say, it did deliver. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, a whole lot of nothing happens before we get to the meat and tatoes.
By Reed Alexanderabout a year ago in Horror