Reed Alexander

I was super worried I've have to apologizes to Kristen Stewart for all of the jokes I've made about her acting career. I've compared a lot of the worst acting in horror to Ms. Stewart and I never exactly let up on her for her involvement in Twilight. I'm low key kinda glad this movie wasn't as good as it looked in the previews, because now I don't have to apologize.

45 minutes. 45 FUCKING MINUTES of god damn setup. How the FUCK do you waste 45 FUCKING MINUTES of a god damn horror movie on the fucking fluff?!? Nobody fucking came here for a god damn story! We came here to see a parade of horror legends get their murder on! You don't fucking need 45 minutes of setup to deliver a god damn parade of horror legends! Introduce the concept, start the prison riot, and let the mayhem begin! That's 10 fucking minutes TOPS!

I don’t normally do poetry. Like your typical ‘cain wagger,’ I don’t get it, and I’m not sure I even want it. If you’re going to ryme or rap, fucking throw a beat behind it.

I honestly can't understand why this movie didn't get just as much recognition as The Exorcist (X1). It wasn't as graphic or controversial as X1 so perhaps that's why it didn't get the notoriety? The thing is, The Changeling is every bit as good. It's got a fantastic cast, with our old friend George C. Scott, and even the venerable Melvin Douglas. So the acting solid and matched by a great character driven plot with solid dialog. The over arcing premises of the plot is clever, and it was the first of it's kind at that time. The story was brilliantly plotted, tho a bit poorly paced. And while there are a few questions sort of just left to interpretation, the plot is strongly devoid of holes.

Rob lost the fucking plot. Plain and simple. House of 1000 Corpses (HO1kC) was a rare and special moment, and this sequel just didn't know what to do with its damn self. It's like Rob forgot who the characters were. Baby Firefly from the first movie was a deranged infantile psycho. This movie has her as a boring bully. Yeah she still has the childish lean, but it's almost too mature from the daffy character I loved from HO1kC. Otis Driftwood was a god damn artist (at least in his own mind). This movie paints him as a mindless brute, a simple thug with a level of ruthless efficiency. Hell, he gets rapey. He wasn't rapey in the first movie. Maybe a bit perverted, but not rapey. Captain Spaulding was the only one who got his fucking character right.

I really think it's important for my fans to read my review of The Taking of Deborah Logan (TTODL) first to understand why this movie is so much better, regardless of the fact that TTODL had a better plot and even better actors. Check out that review at the link below.