Reed Alexander

Reed Alexander

I'm the foulmouthed horror movie critic.  I post new reviews every Wednesday and Sunday, so stay tuned =D

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  • Reed Alexander
    Published 8 days ago
    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'White Noise: The Light' (2007)

    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'White Noise: The Light' (2007)

    You know, this movie wasn't half bad. I'm not sure what it had to do with White Noise, as there was almost zero connection to the original movie. The first movie dealt exclusively with EVP, and this movie basically didn't deal with it at all. I mean, it's kinda in the background, but I feel like the director just didn't understand what white noise EVP phenomenon is.
  • Reed Alexander
    Published 12 days ago
    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of '31'

    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of '31'

    Jesus fucking Christ Rob... you sure do know how to pull every god damn trope out of the box that annoys the fuck out of me. This one opens with a talking head, and continues with an unnecessarily long exposition on how annoying all the fucking characters are. It was actually pretty quick, no more than 10 minutes, but it felt like a goddamn hour. Fucking seriously! I hate it when a movie challenges me to break my 30 minute rule. And just so you know how bad it has to be for me to break one of my own rules, one of the few movies where I did was The Bay.
  • Reed Alexander
    Published 15 days ago
    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Exorcist III' (1990)

    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Exorcist III' (1990)

    I recently read a review that stated The Exorcist III (X-3) is finally getting the appreciation it deserves. That's an understatement. X-3 was thrown into the category cult classic as the only people who saw it were hardcore fans of the original (X-1). These are the people who suffered through the absolute fucking travesty that was the second exorcist (X-2). They stuck by and believed in the franchise and forced friends to watch X-3 over the years. My introduction was the same. "HAVE YOU SEEN X-3?!?" "THERE'S A 3RD ONE?!?" We were actually screaming, no lie.
  • Reed Alexander
    Published 19 days ago
    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Slither' (2006)

    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Slither' (2006)

    You know what was ballsy about this movie? Someone saw Night of the Creeps and said, "I can make that funnier and scarier." And maybe it takes someone like James Gunn to pull that off. If you've ever seen Night of the Creeps, you know it's one of the all time greatest intentionally bad movie. In fact, it was one of the first. The late 80s into the 90s was all about revolutionizing horror as an industry. Movies like Critters and Leprechaun were proving that horror didn't have to be good to be entertainment. Directors like Mark Jones and Fred Dekker realized that half of the movies they enjoyed as kids, were actually garbage, and that's half the reason for loving them. B-Horror helped define the industry.
  • Reed Alexander
    Published 22 days ago
    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Frankenstein's Army' (2013)

    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Frankenstein's Army' (2013)

    Okay, the very concept of this movie is fucking silly but... This movie was FUCKING AWESOME! Look, don't exactly expect a great plot. Hell, I'm not sure this movie even had a coherent plot. In fact, it was so thin they might as well have not bothered. But, FUCKING INDUSTRIAL MECHANICAL NAZIS!!! This made every portion of the teenage metal head inside of me squee with delight. If you played Wolfenstine, Doom, Blood, or Quake, this was just part of your horror scene growing up. Horror, Metal, and Video Games defined my generation. I'm actually shocked it took the horror industry this long to pander to us as adults.
  • Reed Alexander
    Published 24 days ago
    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Ready or Not' (2019)

    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Ready or Not' (2019)

    Holy fuck! What a whacked out movie! I brought this up once before and I'll bring it up again in my review of Primal (coming soon), but I think I stated it best in my review of Don't Kill It. It is possible to go too dark for dark comedy. This movie was likely supposed to be your standard horror thriller when it was first written, then either the producers of the director realized how absolutely ridiculous the concept is. Mind you, this movie could be done seriously, as in not a dark comedy, but I really think adding the extra layer of dark comedy was positive. Don't Kill It went a little too far. This one was just about right.