I'm a horror author and foulmouthed critic of all things horror. New reviews posted every Sunday.
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Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Antiviral' (2012)
God damn, this movie was pretty. Can we just take a moment to sit back and appreciate that fucking movie poster? The whole damn movie is like that. It goes from sterile clean to noir gritty, back and forth in these beautiful contrasts that are absolutely breathtaking. One moment it's like you're in a hyperbaric chamber and the next you're in a butcher's kitchen among the grime and awful drippings. This atmosphere is to contrast the beauty of the celebrities that are harvested, and the fact that they are literally harvesting germs.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Empty Man' (2020)
There was no fucking reason for this movie to be two fucking hours long. They could easily cut thirty minutes and make it the standard hour and a half. The movie was honestly kinda boring because of the pacing. Don't get me wrong, it's fascinating. The plot asks, "What if an idea could be infectious?" It's obviously more complicated than that and revolves around things like urban legends, but it's a neat general concept for the plot. It's about manifesting something by enough people believing in it, which is known as a Tulpa or 'thought form.'
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Device' (2014)
I'm just gonna start by pointing out that nothing as cool as that movie poster ever happens in this movie. I mean, that's some Ghost In the Shell (1995) graphics but it never happens. ANYWHO, my fucking god, this movie was a slog. Yes, it passes my 30 Minute Rule, yes something is always technically happening but fuck sake is it so damn slow. I was bored to tears by the first 30 minutes and I really just didn't want to keep watching. But some-fucking-how I made it through all the way to the end to see the seriously anticlimactic ending.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Layer'
Yeah, this was a fun little creature feature. I think what I like the most about it is that the cast seemed like they were having fun but it wasn't the usual 'so bad it's good' movie where that happens. It was very well put together too. Nothing to write home about, we're not talking award-winning or anything but this kind of movie never has to be. It's like Pitch Black (2000), or Crawl or Die (2014). Action-packed, some good humor, plenty of violence, interesting creatures, quirky cast, the whole package.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Hollow Man' (2000)
OH MY GOD, THIS MOVIE WAS SO FUCKING BORING!!! I sware to god it should have failed my 30-minute rule, but technically something was always happening in the first 30 minutes. But fuck technical, the goddamn plot doesn't kick off till about the halfway mark. I mean, this movie is basically just a remake of The Invisible Man (1933). That movie gets rolling right from the punch. Mad scientist turns himself invisible and basically lets the power go to his head. That whole setup takes, what... 10 minutes? Not even? In this movie, over thirty fucking minutes are devoted to exposition before Kevin Bacon starts the rape and murder. Speed it the fuck up! Superpowers went to his megalomaniacal brain, the chemicals caused him to lose his mind, maybe a little from column A and column B, WHATEVER, just fucking get there!
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Thing From Another World' (1951)
This is the first movie adaptation of Who Goes There, by John W. Campbell. Horror Express (1972) was the other one, but unlike Horror Express, which I can only recommend to Riffers, The Thing from Another World is actually really good and I can recommend it to Horror Heads (Riffers too, but I digress). Hell, even by today's standards it still is really good, AND it was the inspiration for my second all-time-top horror movie The Thing (1982).
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'An American Werewolf in London' (1981)
First of all, this movie is just good horror. They did abso-fucking-lutely everything right for good horror. The atmosphere is dark and foreboding, the plot is smart, layered with drama, but twisted, the FX are noted as some of the best back in the days, and the concept is actually scary. I mean, this movie is currently credited with arguably the best werewolf transformation in horror history. The effects were so damn good for practical FX and the acting really sold it. It's arguably better than great CGI, and it's some of the best body horror you'll ever see.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'NOPE' (2022)
There are three distinct kinds of horror in this movie. One of them I'm not sure needed to be in there, but I'll talk about that later. For the most part, this starts out as your typical Alien Abduction Horror movie. Strange goings on, near encounters, unexplainable events, the typical sort, and from there, it changes into something very different I can't get into without spoiling the movie. In fact, I won't even get into it in the spoilers because I don't need to for this review, and I don't want to spoil what is actually a very fun film.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Nocebo' (2022)
Man, this movie could shake you. It is a powerful folk tale about one person's punishment. First off, let's just talk about how fucking fascinating the Filipino folk traditions in this movie are. Now, I have NO idea how accurate they are, but my wife did confirm some one the ones she recognized. All the same, other culture's take on horror is just so facinating. I just wanna know what scares people and really dissect it.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Dog Soldiers' (2002)
Why the fuck does this movie look like it was shot in the 80s? Was it intentional? Was the budget so low that they shot on fucking VHS camcorders? Should I treat this movie like a shoe stringer? The cinematography just isn't very good. It's almost 'shakey camera' bad. Not as bad as The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014), but honestly pretty bad. Now, it kinda helps the atmosphere. You can't quite ever see what's going on, so it helps shroud the rubber monsters in shadow and gives them a nice effect. However, it also makes the movie bloody difficult to watch. It's a bit of an eye strain just to see what's going on. The presentation frankly isn't very good.