This just wasn't as much fun as the original. Now, I'm not saying the original was good, I actually thought it was kind of boring considering the concept they had to work with. The difference between the original and the remake can be spelled out by tone and pacing. So far as tone goes, the original mixed a level of absurdity with the violence. Yeah there were rampaging lunatics, but some of them were fun rampaging lunatics. It gave you the idea that the virus might cause you to be violent, but in random and even wacky ways. We're not talking comedy levels here, just enough to note the difference.
My fucking god... where do I even begin? What an absolutely stunning movie. Everything from the dance choreography to the setting, to the story. There was only a solitary moment that was out of place and I'm really pulling hairs to be critical of even that!
I knew I was going to like this when it started out with some random douchebag mumbling nonsense, whacked out on a cocktail of drugs. Specifically ketamine, fentanyl, and crack. For sure, that would likely kill the most hard core drug addict, but it sounds like a wild ride down a short rabbit hole.
It's like a right of god damn passage for a horror critic to review this movie, and since the remake, I knew at some point I'd have to bite the bullet and get it over with. I'd seen it a long damn time ago and remembered it fondly. Though, I never did understand how Suspiria became a critics choice for seriously every fucking critic in the horror industry. Don't get me wrong, its good. Damn good. And for 1977, WAY the fuck ahead of it's time.
Follow the case files of the Unnatural Perpetrators Department, division of the FBI. The UPD is a special task force charge with hunting down and stopping serial killers of 'unnatural origins.'
I was super worried I've have to apologizes to Kristen Stewart for all of the jokes I've made about her acting career. I've compared a lot of the worst acting in horror to Ms. Stewart and I never exactly let up on her for her involvement in Twilight. I'm low key kinda glad this movie wasn't as good as it looked in the previews, because now I don't have to apologize.