Reed Alexander

Reed Alexander

I'm the foulmouthed horror movie critic.  I post new reviews every Wednesday and Sunday, so stay tuned =D

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  • Reed Alexander
    Published 2 months ago
    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Gingerdead Man' (2005)

    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Gingerdead Man' (2005)

    Look at that fucking DVD box art. Look at it! Take a moment to draw it in. Think about how fucking ridiculous that is. This is another movie where if you actively chose to watch it, and were disappointed with what you got, YOU are the problem. Just the fucking name lets you know, without any uncertainty, the producers of this movie weren't out to make serious cinema. If you didn't go into this with a group of friends, a ton of booze, and the intention to riff this movie back to the stone age, I question your cognitive capacity.
  • Reed Alexander
    Published 3 months ago
    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Second Shred' (2019) by DLW, Published Through MHP

    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Second Shred' (2019) by DLW, Published Through MHP

    DLW never fails to grab me by the balls and drag me kicking and screaming though her writing. I'm never sure if she's intentionally fucking with the audience, or if her writing is just naturally chaotic/evil and reading it causes insanity.
  • Reed Alexander
    Published 3 months ago
    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Mist' (2007)

    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Mist' (2007)

    I didn't read the book. Two things. First, I don't give a flying fuck if this wasn't close to the actual book. Sorry, I just don't fucking care. Second, I don't give a good goddamn if the book was better. This movie was fucking awesome! And god DAMN it was brutal. It just keeps kicking you while you're down, and you don't think anything can get any worse, then it pulls out a set of golf clubs and starts whaling on you Mafia style while you're curled up in the fetal position. And the ending, the coup de gras, is a merciless shot to the dick with steel-toed boots.
  • Reed Alexander
    Published 3 months ago
    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Split Second' (1992)

    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Split Second' (1992)

    Sleep well and dream of electric sheep. Rutger Hauer (1944-2019)There were, of course, far more iconic movies to review for Rutger Hauer. But none affected me and my love of horror as much as this movie did. Movies like Split Second are the reason I became obsessed with horror, and eventually became a horror critic and writer.
  • Reed Alexander
    Published 3 months ago
    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Possession of David O'Reilly' (2010)

    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Possession of David O'Reilly' (2010)

    Everyone who's a fan of my reviews, knows I'm not a fan of 'Shaky Camera.' There are exceptions to this, as with all things, but I feel it's a band wagon most studios need to start falling off.
  • Reed Alexander
    Published 3 months ago
    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Leprechaun' (1993)

    Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Leprechaun' (1993)

    And now for an old classic in fucking BAD movies. Look, literally everyone going into this movie should know it's a giant shit show. They didn't even attempt to make it sound like serious horror back when the were producing it. But it's been 26 years at the time of this review. There is zero reasons for anyone to not know the Leprechaun franchise is basically one long running joke. They were basically just trying to figure out how loony-toons they could get with the concept. Shit, by nowadays standards, with movies like Sharknado, this franchise didn't even go far enough.