Obsessively thinking about the intersections of food, entertainment, commerce, human nature, and the end of the world.
In a Cave by the Lake
The ferric smell of Farmer Ralph’s blood mixed with the funk of ripening cheese. Stout, sturdy, and sporting a crew-cut, this overall-wearing woman in her late sixties kept a stone face. She had a machete in one hand and pressed her other hand against her bleeding hip.
Inner Peace From a Caramelized Onion
Every time I cook onions, I think of the 1992 movie "Mr. Saturday Night" starring Billy Crystal and David Paymer. It was Crystal's directorial debut, and it got Paymer an Oscar nod. Crystal gave an interview detailing how the set designers made their kitchen set feel like a multigenerational kitchen. They cooked onions on it and even rubbed them into the walls. The smell of cooking onions triggered the actor's memories of warmth, home, and family.
Death by Chocolate O'Cake!
When the aliens arrived, it wasn't scary. It was confusing. People were already dealing with the pandemic resurgence. Covid-19 had evolved into the "Omikron" variant, which some called the "Croki Variant" due to the unfortunate death of Tom Hiddleston. In a reversal of earlier variants, covid now gave those infected superhero-level smelling. Unfortunately, this overwhelmed the human olfactory and respiratory systems. It was now twice as fatal.
The Free Restaurant
I have a roommate who hates eating. He views food as a distraction and a hassle. Once a month, he buys a couple of pounds of hamburger, some jars of tomato sauce, and some macaroni. He cooks it up, and when hungry, he nukes a scoop or two. At the end of the month, he tosses what's gone bad. Even though he's shown a total disregard for "cuisine," he acknowledges that he needs to eat.
April is Barn Season
Sam and Chris noticed the U.S. South was peppered with dilapidated barns. These twisted structures sprung out of open fields, alone and isolated but not too far from the road. Their wood was grey and brown and swept and gouged by the weather. Some were tattooed with faded ads for chewing tobacco. Half collapsed; they looked as if they'd fallen on their knees with exhaustion. Nearly all were partly shielded from view by a natural screen of trees, bushes, and vines.
My Restaurant Addiction
I love restaurants. But the last year has taught me that restaurants, as a concept, could use some reworking. Don’t get me wrong, there are some killer places out there that are still serving food and drink. But there are some legendary spaces that are gone. Some who survived the worst of this plague are now struggling because what they were before, doesn’t work in this new reality. Then there are the people who make all of these concepts come to life — how do we pay them a living wage, and make sure that the food we serve is clean both physically and morally?
"I Care a Lot" (About You)
With a hearty run in Netflix's top ten and Rosamund Pike winning the "Golden Globe Award for Best Actress in a Motion Picture Comedy or Musical" for her performance, there's a good chance you've seen I Care a Lot. The story of a lady willing to take on the mob and the elderly with equal ruthlessness.
October 26th, 2028
Her fingers snapped through the pages of the little black book. Her lips stung with salt. She couldn't stop mindlessly eating corn chips between each scan of the page. It wasn't filling the hole, but the barrage dulled the pain. Eventually, the greasy slick on her fingers became heavy enough that she needed a napkin. Instead, she scrubbed her fingers on the side of a stack of bills held with a pale yellow band labeled “$10,000.” She then pulled out one of the bills and dabbed at the corners of her mouth like a napkin. “Baller.” She said to herself and laughed.