for my mental health
the untold story
We must start at the begining of this story because if we start at the end, it will not make any sense. One basketball practice sophomore year, we all became friends. I do not know what it was. After that practice it was all history... Now I know it sounds so cheesie but at the age of 15, it is all you know. Basketball, boys, and burgers. My three favorite things at the time.
Here to year 2022
The year is almost over and I am so excited to start a new year... I love new beginnings... Weirdly enough I had the anticipation of change but once it hits me I thrive. Now, I am not sure if that takes time but one day I hope to lean into the change. I think I am 1/4 of a way there but it still makes me a little uncomfy when I think about it. I lose sleep... it is hard for me to eat and truly I can't think of anything else. It eats me up inside and all my emotions build up until I write in my journal or I make a nostalgic video about it. Which honestly is not a bad thing.
Birthdays No matter how hard I try... I can't stop feeling uneasy every year it returns First birthday is as huge milestone for parents, it is your first everything and everyone is excited to experience those things with you. Everything is new and only new to you. All the attention is on you and I have always wonder if this affects you later on in life.
Journal entry #8
January 21st I am still trying to find my way through this thing we call life... It has been very tough lately... I have cried more than I ever have in my life, in this past week and I don't know how to deal with what has been going on
- Top Story - June 2022
I forgive youTop Story - June 2022
I think I have finally come to terms with it I forgive you I cannot hold a grudge towards you any longer I think it hurt so bad because you were like family and maybe that's my fault... I go to the extreme when it comes to friends... they are either my best friend or we are an acquaintance. This is something that I have been working on and understanding that everyone plays a role in my life. Some are meant to stay forever and some are only meant to be with us for a short period of time. I always wonder why that is and that is so hard for me to cope with. I think stems from me not liking the bad times and holding on so tight to the good.
Journal entry 7
December 1st Lately I have been feeling a little uneasy... Still kind of unsure where I should be in life and if I am on the right track... I want to try new things but money is running my life right now. I need to make money to pay rent and I need to make money to eat food.
series of journal entries
11/21 This weekend was better than the last. I have been working out and putting my mental health first, more consistently. I have definitely seen some changes for the better and it makes me happy. Some days are obviously better than others but the good days have been outweighting the bad.