Birthdays

Birthdays

No matter how hard I try... I can't stop feeling uneasy every year it returns

First birthday is as huge milestone for parents, it is your first everything and everyone is excited to experience those things with you. Everything is new and only new to you. All the attention is on you and I have always wonder if this affects you later on in life.

Your Second birthday seems to not matter as much. You already leared everything once but maybe this is the year you finally walk. You are able to put your shoes on by yourself. You can feed yourself. Who knows, it is different for everyone but for me it seems to not be so major.

Each year might be the same unless you aren't an only child and the year you get a sibling is the year a lot changes. You aren't only worrying about yourself but you are also worrying about the person younger than you because that is what your parents asked you to do.

Now once we get past the child years of learning how to read and write...

It is finally year 10 and oh my god, every kid goes crazy because you are finally in double digits. The year you think things will change because your parents make a big deal about it but not much really changes.

Year 13 is the year you become a teenage and you think that everything will change but the year seems to feel like all the rest. This is the year, our parents start to call us old. As if 13 years is the year we become an adult but we are still treat as children. The year we can walk somewhere by ourselves but that was back in the 2000s, I am not so sure you can do that anymore.

Now we are past 14 and 15 but 16 rolls around...

The year things start to change. The year we get our drivers license. The year we can show off to our friends and act some type of way because we drive our parents cars. The year we leave our parents behind and don't realize how that affects them. The year we act so old when aren't that old.

17 not much changes, except for it is the last year, you can do something stupid and you will not get in trouble with the cops. The most they do is drive you home or call your parents because you are out past curfew. At least that is how it was for my neighborhood.

18 feels like the year you don't have anything figured out. The year you go to college and move away from your family. The year we treated as adults but not spoken to as adults. Tell me how that makes sense...

Move away and "make your own decisions" but only the decisions we tell you, that you can make. 18 is fun but tough, its the first year, you feel like you do not know what you are doing but you are distracted by college sports and college boys. The year they tell you to choose how to spend the rest of your life but do not mess up because after college, there is not time left. That is complete bullshit.

About 3 years pass and now you are 21...

The year we have all been waiting for, does not last as long as we think...

The year of fun and carefree decisions but little do we know is the year we graduate college.

A couple years pass and it becomes an anxiety driven blur because college sports are over for you (another memoir for another time) and you do not know what to do with your life.

They say after 21, the rest of the birthdays do not matter and you won't remember them but I have remembered every single one up until 24.

25 was good but only a few know what was going on.

And while you are still trying to figure shit out in your 20s, you'll turn 26 and do not have any health care...